Doing it on my own: bobobski's house deposit diary

savingwannabe

I think doing a big food shop is fine. It's all useful stuff. You will save money as you are less likely to eat out and top up shop. Weather here was great for walking.

I have just finished clearing under sink. Let's just say I wont be shopping for cleaning products for a few more years.

I am joining you in having a cup of tea and am gonna chill.

Skint_yet_Again

Sounds like we've all had a busy day. A bit of sun and it makes me feel like spring cleaning... Its exhausting trying not to spend any money :rotfl:

bobobski

I thought I'd do an end-of-the-weekend check-in

I haven't spent any money today - woo! And I made it out for my cycle ride today - about a 45 minute round trip (in the wind!) to the part of town I want to move to I also attended a few YNAB tutorials today. Most of them I've either done before or don't apply to me but I still join them anyway. For example, I attended the "aggressive pay down of debt" tutorial, even though I have never been in debt - you never know what little tips you can get, and indeed you can help others with your tips, which is nice. Something I quite liked today: have a category in your budget for bulk-buying. That would have smoothed out my "top-up" shop yesterday, i.e. split out usual weekly spending (milk, eggs, veggies etc) and stuff you buy in bulk when it's on offer (cereal, alcohol :A, table sauces etc). I've signed up to a few more tutorials during the week too - hopefully that'll keep me out of the pub... And the tutorials are free - crazy.

I've made a big ol' batch of chili for the week: £5 for the mince, £1-ish for the peppers, £1-ish for the onions, £1.50-ish on spices, call it £2 for the chopped tomatoes and kidney beans, add say 50p for the salt, pepper and oil spray... that's £11 for easily 7 meals = £1.57 per portion. Not bad

One thing I don't punish myself for spending on is heating. I know I could wrap up warmer and everything, but when I'm cold I'm miserable, and wrapping up doesn't cover it (I'm always wearing a blanket, like now!) (pun intended). So I turn my thermometer freely. However, this weekend I've noticed it's a few degrees lower than it has been lately - a good sign!

Anyway, I hope everybody has had a lovely weekend. Here's to a financially savvy week ahead :beer:

Skint_yet_Again

Well done on the batch cooking bobobski that's great value per portion. Its definitely getting warmer I haven't had my heating on as much either as its not been as cold in the evenings. Spring is coming

bobobski

Hi gang

Not really a money-related post today. I'm feeling very down at the moment. The trigger was a conversation with a friend about a house - extremely long story - but even though I knew he wasn't trying to upset me, I find myself feeling like a useless human being as a result of that conversation. I do have depressive tendencies so I can recognise the self-blame etc, but that doesn't really help deal with it. I struggled keeping the mask up at work, and two of my good friends took me out last night to cheer me up. It worked, but the effect has faded today, partly due to a hangover (oops) and partly because the friend I'm fighting with has been messaging me today and is upset with me for various additional reasons. It's difficult to try to make up with someone when you feel like they'd be better off without you, but at the same time I don't want to upset him and I know he doesn't like it when I'm like this.

So I've been having what an outsider might call an emo week. Listening to "Bother" by Stone Sour on repeat, hiding as much as possible and drinking quite a bit. My boss kind of knows something's up, and we were quiet enough at work that he could cut me some slack, but I found out today that something's come in that will keep me extremely busy (likely including weekends) for the next few weeks. Not really time to mope when you're about to start your biggest project of your career to date. I'm excited about the project; it's something I've been waiting for for quite a while and it'll be really interesting. Just this kind of mood doesn't really fill you with confidence that you'll do well at it.

Blergh. Sorry guys. Very mopey over in bobobski house today

I hope you're all having good weeks and that the gales haven't led to any damage or traffic jams for you...

Skint_yet_Again

I am sorry to hear you are having such a bad time at the moment bobobski. Sometimes people can upset others without even meaning to and its hard to keep smiling and trying to look cheerful when you are so upset. If you're like me then you feel guilty for being upset and start wondering if its your own fault


I had to apologise to my sister recently to keep the peace in our family even though I felt that I had done nothing wrong. Our relationship hasn't really recovered but I now think - well at least I tried and have made the effort. You cant keep tearing yourself apart - I would just try and move on, think of how well you have done so far and concentrate on the work project coming in I'm sure you'll be great !

savingwannabe

Hello you are our friend and any time you want to post on here to tell us anything we will listen.

If someone has upset you - even inadvertently - but they should know better if they are your friend - you will be depressed, and self doubting. It is a natural reaction. But you must remember you are a person who has every right to be here. To have dreams to have a house and to be treated with respect.

I am glad your boss has realised that you are upset and your work colleagues- funny how they have and your friend set it off and hasn't helped. Do you know the poem Desiderata ?

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


You have every right to be here. You are only accountable to yourself and no one can judge you. But you must have confidence in yourself now. Focus on what you are good at, on your positives. Write it down, keep it with you at all times. Focus on your strengths. You have many.

I only know you on here but even I know that you can save, you give amazing financial advice that has helped me and in the short time I have known you I know you are a good, true and valued friend. Stay positive and if you feel you are slipping tell people in real life so they can help you.

As for this friend, keep your space. They have hurt you and you need time to heal. Surround yourself with people who nurture you and be kind to yourself. You are a child of the universe and you are going to make it. You will get the house and you have worked hard to make your dreams come true. We are all here cheering you on.

love and hugs, swxxxxx

Skint_yet_Again

^^^ beautiful post SW.... everything I meant too but I'm rubbish with words. That poem brought a tear to my eye....


bobobski I hope you had a good nights sleep and are feeling better and stronger today. The weekend is approaching so take some time to relax and look after yourself because your worth it xx (not meant to be said in a Geordie accent )

savingwannabe

Hello. I am so late I fell asleep after breakfast. I hope Bobobski is ok. It is a lovely day outside.

bobobski

You two are just awesome - thank you for being you :heart2:

SW, that poem really struck a chord with me and it brought a tear to my eye as well as to SYA's. And SYA, you're absolutely right, it's a seemingly endless circle of feeling down and then feeling guilty about feeling down and then feeling down because you feel guilty... I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your sister though; sometimes situations can't be resolved to everybody's satisfaction so your goal has to be handling it in a way that you'd be proud of, which it sounds like you've done, so good for you for being the grown up there.

I hate feeling like this, because I know it's pathetic. I know on a logical level that I have just as much right to be here as everyone else, but I don't believe it even though I know it. You know? Blargh. Unfortunately I didn't sleep very well last night; I was working from home today so I turned my alarm off and still woke up before the time it usually goes off. I will try again tonight.

I took your advice today SW and focused on what I'm good at, which is my job. I had a very productive day today and I feel a bit better about myself. We've been really quiet at work for a really long time, and I think feeling useless really doesn't help me when I'm in this kind of mood. Maybe this new project will be something that lifts me out of this mood.

I'm seeing my friend for more wedding planning this weekend then we're thinking of doing something - possibly going out, maybe a movie and wine at home. Bless her, she works so hard and when she's not working she's planning the wedding, so I think she just wants to have some fun. Hopefully I can get it together for her; she's definitely worth it (I don't get the Geordie SYA but I did think of L'Oreal?!).

Random, but briefly on money: my rubbish old car had its MOT today and passed first time round, which is a bit mad but I'm not complaining. £30 including a winter check. Now there's something to be happy about, even if it's not very important