Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

beanielou

Hope you feel more like yourself very soon.
Take care of you

Savvy_sewing

I was in bed properly by 8.30 along with dgd. I woke every couple of hours with a dry mouth and needed the loo.
My alarm is due to go off in a minute at 6.30 but I gave up trying to sleep at 5.45
I am just finishing my cup of tea. Have used my SAD lamp, and juggled my funds about as normal. Like to put something in to each of the savings pots every time money arrives in the accounts. I have paid the childcare plus an extra day as in half term next week it's going to be much higher.
I like to be prepared and as I was a little in credit at the beginning of the term I should be OK by the end of the term.
As all my money comes in weekly I am lucky that they accept me paying weekly.
Work is a little on the slow side, but I don't know exactly how much we took the last few days as I just put the money in the safe. I will add it up today, and do my paperwork when I get to work.
I have to get my act together this morning even though I don't feel very well. Life will not stop and wait for me. Yesterday was the only day I had any wiggle room for resting etc.
I plan to try and arrange a meeting with DS ( or the GF) and housing if possible today, when staff can cover the shop, but if not today then for Wednesday.
I want to make sure that if it is at all possible to stop the eviction that we do it ASAP.
If it is too late then I want to make sure that I get them all the help I can to see if the courts will suspend it. If that's not the case, then we will have to see what options they will have going forward.
I don't want to have to squeeze them into my house as I know that I couldn't cope.
I know that it would be the nail in the coffin on my own life and I really don't want to go there every again. On this occasion I want to be selfish and live my life now.
Time to wake dgd as she needs a shower as I didn't wash her hair last night. Time to move and shake then. ( not that I feel like it mind you!)

ivyleaf

Not selfish at all, Mooloo. Sorry you feel so rough - sending get-well-soon wishes and a gentle hug.

Savvy_sewing

Well I have gone and broken my resolve, and paid off their arrears via my credit card. The housing said that the only way they would stop court proceedings was if the amount was paid in full, they were not prepared to accept payment plans as DS had broken the agreement last time. So I bit the bullet and paid it. I have agreed to handle the rent account from now on, and I have set up a monthly DD to go out of my account on 28th of the month.
DS has now set up a payment from his account to mine every Tuesday to pay his rent.
I then went to housing benefits and asked them to re-assess his claim as the income he has so far this year has only been £4,715
The next job is to get his tax code sorted out as it is only 470L
It should be higher than that.
So then we need to also get WTC to review the amount they are paying them on, as she is not working and the claim was based on her earnings at £5885. She didn't get much as the pub never paid her etc. (Her mother tried to get it back by confronting them, and all she did was get the police called out and get them barred. She obviously has no tact and that is probably why DS and GF have not had help from her.
Using the calculation site on here I am under the impression that the housing benefits are about £40 short of what they are entitled too, and the WTC is obviously wrong if it is based on her expectations from the job she lost. I can't work out exactly how much today as I didn't have her income as no p45 came from the pub.
So I have asked her to find her bank statement and show housing how much money she was actually payed, and then the same information to hmrc.
When these calculations are put in effect then hopefully moving forward they will have a little more income and a little less rent and council tax to pay.
After all that I am exhausted.
Dgd has brownies at 6.15 - 7.45 and they are visiting a local Indian restaurant so I don't have to feed her tonight ( unless she comes home saying she didn't like it of course ).
Next I need to draw up an agreement with DS to the effect of the amount they owe me for the last two Bailouts and put a payment plan in place alongside the rent.
It is not the way I had wanted it to be but I couldn't cope with them living with me, I didn't want to see social services decide that my grandson was not being provided for, and take him away.
Between Biggest and I, we are getting DS to work and she is keeping them on their toes at keeping the house tidied etc.
I will help them to go to the shops but they will now be able to buy their food in Aldi and we can work together on a menu plan, and add up the shopping as they go.
We are going to enroll them on the free course the housing are offering on budgets and menus and let's hope that eventually the penny will drop with them all.
I don't hold out much hope that it will be easy, and I am not blind to the fact that I have bailed them out again and how will they learn.
I will be on their case every week now and I will not be letting them off.
Biggest spoke to her church (vicar?) today at school and she asked why Biggest had missed Mum's and Tots so she told her about all the running around etc and the mess DS is in. She has offered to get DS a food voucher if it would help them, I said that if they can it would help as it gives 3 days worth of dry or tinned goods and that would help us with the first food shopping and able us to get a little more in the menu plan to start them off, so she is going to tell the vicar yes please.
When I left the housing the lady said to DS that he was a very lucky Mum who made his miracle happen.
DS said to me, thankyou and I owe you a lot more than just the money, nearer my life.
I didn't go to the house when I dropped him off as I had to go back to work. I hope the GF is grateful and stops screaming at DS and blaming him for every thing.

thorsoak

Oh Mooloo But you do realise that they won't pay you back, don't you? Please don't mess up your budget by factoring in their repayments ....just treat their repayments as a bonus (but don't tell them that.

Yes, we are all shouting at you - but, to be honest, just how many of us could walk away from the situation? You couldn't have them living with you - you shouldn't have been put into this situation - but sadly, they pushed all your buttons by setting you up on the guilt trip before this latest nightmare surfaced.

BTW - I do hope that you will now have a discussion with Biggest about your contribution to her wedding ....you can't bake a bigger cake, she may have to have a smaller slice of the Mooloo Bank of Mum cake.

Savvy_sewing

Dgd collected from Brownies, she didn't like the curry, so we just made pancakes. Now she has gone to bed I can now switch off after a stressful day. I am going to bed. Tomorrow is another day, onwards and upwards.
Night night x

Savvy_Sue

I hope that as well as you and Biggest running round after them that your son and his g/f will accept help from one of the debt advice charities I mentioned earlier, and the help on offer through the council. The Foodbank may have things on offer too.

Just because it's debt to you doesn't make it not debt ... although whether they will see it that way, who knows?

I wonder if HomeStart operate near your DS? I can't help feeling that they may be able to offer g/f some of the support she needs to get her act together with caring for your grandson.

Savvy_sewing

I will be doing my best to get them to access the courses the Council etc are running and I did mention homestart the other day. We will do what we can to steer them back on course and make sure that they engage better.
Yesterday I moved my savings around and put them into my main account ready to clear the credit card ASAP.
I decided that having £600 in the savings earning negligible amounts as my Emergency Funds was rather pointless and that I would be better emptying the various savings and clearing off the card, sobi don't get interest charges etc.
I can always use the credit card if I have an emergency after all. Then as DS pays me back a little each week ( which once the housing benefits are sorted, should be possible I will start putting it back into the Emergency Funds.
My budget should not be effected then, and I should still be able to build up my savings at about £100 a month. If I practice what I preach and stick with my budget.
I still have peace of mind then that I have the cards to fall back on if the worst befalls me.
I know that not seeing the funds in the savings account will feel very strange but it will spur me on to rebuild it faster.
I slept reasonably well last night and I feel a bit better this morning. Not quite a spring lamb yet, but a little brighter than yesterday.

Savvy_sewing

DS has already paid this weeks rent into my account this morning. A good sign that he is up, and watching him bank account etc. I hope that he continues to do so. Xx

Savvy_sewing

Do you believe in miracles?
I do. I don't mean necessarily religious ones, but honest good human ones. Well one of my customers has stepped in to help us, and given my son (via me) 1/3 off the rent debt! Amazing fortune for us, it has meant that I can completely pay off the credit card transaction immediately ( and I have), and it means that DS doesn't have to find so much to pay me back. It also means that we will be able to get some store cupboard food in to help aliviate the problems of not having enough food this month.
I am so grateful and thankful and DS and his GF are amazed, humbled and excited that there is good in the world.
I feel as if the universe has listened and provided when we needed it most. I feel renewed in my faith of human beings today.
I know that I have done similar in the past and my friend here said it is karma, what goes around comes around.
I can't begin to explain how much worry that such an act of kindness has removed from not just me, but my son's family and even Biggest as she was worrying too.
I may be snuffling and sneezing still, but I am feeling so very much restored. I feel like the luckiest family in the world.