Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

dktreesea

So the GF is used to a set up where the guy provides good financial support (horses, for goodness sake. I realise the GF isn't his daughter but do we really put animals ahead of people in this day and age?).


Emotional support is all well and good but it doesn't help them get their bills paid. They need financial support. It doesn't have to come from you - hopefully the housing can claw back the arrears at £5 a week, though that seems more a council than a housing association thing.


Of course your DS is paying money on his Xbox gaming. He "knows" Mummy will come to the rescue. As for not telling you, why would he? He doesn't want a row. Gets enough of that from the GF maybe? And I don't for one minute think it's him spending the household income. What about her?


Not to stick up for his MIL, but maybe they have tapped her for financial support from time to time and she is being told by her OH to stop enabling them, hence her turning off the taps every now and then?


Even if the worst came to the worst and they were taken to court, it doesn't then follow they would be made homeless, especially if the council didn't have council, as opposed to housing association, accommodation for them. So maybe it would be better for your health to stop worrying about what has not yet happened?

surveyqueenuk

OK, so you need an internet connection in order to be able to spend money on Xbox Live - indicating that they are certainly capable of paying one of their bills.

Am fuming about the MIL and the horses though. So GF's mother gets a nice life, big house and freakin' HORSES. We want YOU to have the nice life and big house (and even horses if you want them!). So stick to your guns.

Savvy_sewing

No horses thankyou!
My life is fine with sprinkles of holidays an but yes would be good to improve it.
I can't speak for them only me.
I have just got back from meeting with both of them and Biggest.
We have looked at the budget etc, and they really don't have much wiggle room and one unnecessary payment destabilise them and the knock on effect is huge.
I am going to take them to negotiate with the housing next week. We've given them a wake up call and some tips and hints to change things. Biggest is going to pop buy with fresh milk on Monday on the school run, this week and they have enough of everything else to tide them till Wtc day on Tuesday and then they get £91, £60 has to go to the rent. Leaving £31 for food. The child tax credit goes to GF, she is paying £30 a week council tax leaving her £31. Something of which she needs to leave £7.50 to accumulate ready for another debt that goes out monthly and gives her £11odd for baby essentials etc.
DS next gets paid at the last Friday of the month and that should cover the monthly payments on DD etc
I hope that I will get the Housing to accept the £60 if I promise to oversee the Payment every Tuesday.
Who knows until next week.
I will go back to taking them shopping at Aldi on Wednesday

Eager_Elephant

I am glad that DS and GF are open to help today and you and biggest can hopefully manage it between you.


The debt that GF pays £7.50 per week to = £30pm (without rounding to 4.3333) is this a priority or could it be reduced down?


If it is a non-priority debt they can go as low as £1pm which will help things in the short term as they do need some wiggle room really.


If it is a priority they may still be able to go lower.


If she really has to pay them £30pm why can't she just pay them £7.50 per week rather than try to keep the money in her account which probably doesn't happen and so the payment of £30 will come out of 1 weeks child tax credit leaving them short that week?

grey_lady

Same old really

*max*

Mooloo wrote: »

No horses thankyou!
My life is fine with sprinkles of holidays an but yes would be good to improve it.
I can't speak for them only me.
I have just got back from meeting with both of them and Biggest.
We have looked at the budget etc, and they really don't have much wiggle room and one unnecessary payment destabilise them and the knock on effect is huge.
I am going to take them to negotiate with the housing next week. We've given them a wake up call and some tips and hints to change things. Biggest is going to pop buy with fresh milk on Monday on the school run, this week and they have enough of everything else to tide them till Wtc day on Tuesday and then they get £91, £60 has to go to the rent. Leaving £31 for food. The child tax credit goes to GF, she is paying £30 a week council tax leaving her £31. Something of which she needs to leave £7.50 to accumulate ready for another debt that goes out monthly and gives her £11odd for baby essentials etc.
DS next gets paid at the last Friday of the month and that should cover the monthly payments on DD etc
I hope that I will get the Housing to accept the £60 if I promise to oversee the Payment every Tuesday.
Who knows until next week.
I will go back to taking them shopping at Aldi on Wednesday

And no doubt paying for their shopping!

The GF sounds like she's had everything provided for her, and is now throwing a hissy fit because she's maybe finally realising having a child isn't the pot of gold she thought it was.

Like everyone has been saying, it is not your responsibility though. Your responsibility is to DGD, whom you have custody of. You have to be very, very careful with this whole saga, because you might, one day. lose custody. And then what? I'm guessing the majority of your income comes from having her, which is why you can "afford" to only pay yourself £50 or so a week out of your business. But what if you were "alone!, ie no subsidies for having the care of a child?

I think you really need to think about your business' viability should you lose your benefits.

Savvy_sewing

I won't loose custody, dgd has everything she needs and is happy and settled with me.
I agree if I had to rely on the shop we would not be able to at the moment but although January and February tend to be quite months, I have not had to prop the business up with outside funding or overdrafts etc, and I have been successfully paying myself every week since last spring.
I have goals and plans to continue to improve the shop and it is my intention to come off of government help if at all possible.
If I was on my own then I would not be in this house and would probably be either in a one bedroom flat or similar with lower outgoings, and or living with BF or caring for Mum.
If, I was in that situation I would probably not have staff and would probably sew longer hours instead.
Worst case scenario I would apply my skills to employment instead.

It is not my intention to pay the rent myself just to make sure they pay it, and I will not be buying the shopping I will be teaching her how to menu plan and shop with the till receipt as a guide from previous shopping trips.

Savvy_sewing

DS dropped off at work this morning so I was up to defrost the car at 6.30
I don't feel very well. My sneezes from yesterday have turned into a head cold, and I am aching all over. I have work in a few minutes until 2pm and then I am supposed to be going to a Baby Sprinkle and then a Birthday meal tonight. Dgd is due to have a sleepover at the neighbour's.
However the way I feel at the moment I don't think I will be doing anything after work but going to bed!

dktreesea

£30 a week council tax sounds a lot. Do your DS and partner not claim council tax benefit?

Eager_Elephant

dktreesea wrote: »

£30 a week council tax sounds a lot. Do your DS and partner not claim council tax benefit?

I don't want to tread on toes but I am assuming that they have fallen behind and are now having to pay extra to have it all paid off by March when the new bill is issued or to stop it going to the bailiffs.


Although they don't get much HB so it may be that they don't qualify for council tax benefit due to income.


As DS is classed as self-employed (I believe) they will take an average over x months so they will assume he gets that every week when of course he may not.