Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

Toni'sfriend

Thank you both so much. I wasn't expecting such a quick reply.
I do have quite a healthy diet generally but if I have a packet of chocolate biscuits I will eat the whole lot at one go. Same with crisps and nuts. Obviously an emotional thing because I'm not hungry and don't need it. Best avoided altogether. I love fish, fruit and veg so if I can cut out the rubbish (easier said than done to break a habit) the weight should go slowly. Need to address drinking alcohol as well as that is not conducive to weight loss.
We both walk at lot but that has gone by the wayside over the last 18 months. Thanks for the link to the website. Mamman. Not a lot of pretty walks around here but we do have free bus travel so thinking of taking the bus to the seaside or a country park and then walking.
I was thinking about a chin length bob. Finding it difficult to cope with my hair as it is thick and wavy but could probably manage that. Will discuss with hairdresser (she has very good recommendations).
I lost my sense of smell through a medical condition but I have started wearing perfume again even though I can't smell it everyone else can. Strangely I can remember smells. The plus side is I'm not tortured by the smell of fish and chips and other such fattening things.
So glad I found you, ladies.

chanie

Hi fabbers,

I've put on weight. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I've totally lost perspective on how much I should be eating which is why I'm putting on weight. I can't do much tomorrow as we are going out for lunch, but I'm determined to get back on track.

I hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather

lessonlearned

Chanie......don't torture yourself.

Monday is another day. :rotfl: just climb back on the wagon and start again.

Hi Tonisfriend. Welcome. You've come to the right place for support and encouragement. Sounds like you've made a good start.

Summer is upon us so get out and about, have fun and enjoy your time with your generous loving husband. :rotfl:

I have a friend coming to stay next week. i have booked tickets for Chatsworth. There is a special exhibition at the moment featuring some of the clothes and costumes belonging to the dukes and duchesses. Should be fun.

Unfortunately the weather forecast isn't great so not sure about the other days. Probably sightseeing round the "Cathedral Quarter" - the oldest and prettiest part of the city - lots of nice quirky shops, the art gallery and museums, cafes and restaurants and of course the cathedral itself so even if the weather isn't great it should be ok.

I've told her to bring her swimming cozzie because she likes swimming. I can sign her into my gym and we can have a bit of a mini spa session.

I have today signed up to a website called "Jolly Dollies" - a friendship site for widows. Although I do have some nice local female friends most of them are married and I really need to make new single friends.

Time to start socialising and building up some new friendships.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

It has been a very busy time for me in the last few weeks, so that is why I have been reading all of your posts, but not really been doing much posting myself.

My eldest daughter is feeling much better, so I am off to visit her today and taking her Mother's Day presents to her because she was ill in Hospital on the day and subsequent days.

I went to visit a female friend of mine who was celebrating her 60th birthday. We had a lovely lunch in a local Bistro in Bromley where she lives, then 3 of us went back to her home to continue the fun. I remembered to take photos in the Bistro and in her home, so that there was a record of the fabulous day we all had together. It was really nice to meet some of her other friends and share a meal and conversation with them. My friend asked me to share my photos on Facebook, so I did. I had also taken a short video of her opening some of her cards and presents. She loved the video and the photos, so I was very glad that I took the time to take them.

I wore my red sweetheart neckline short sleeved red t-shirt, with a paneled black pull on skirt, my black Kaleidoscope cardigan with the satin rose, my black leather ankle boots, my read leather gloves, red woolen scarf and my black coat with velvet cuffs and collar. I was carrying my black patent leather Jaeger bag with 'gold' trim. It was a sunny day, but it was quite windy and cold and there was one light shower, but I had an umbrella with me. I had on lots of perfume and I layered it with the matching body lotion. No make up though but I painted my nails with a clear nail polish.

Oh Chanie please do not beat yourself up about your weight gain. It is futile to do so, that is why I am not worrying too much about my weight gain. I am making more effort to start losing weight again, but gaining weight is almost effortless compared to all the effort that it takes to shift each pound of weight.

I had a very lovely 55th Birthday on the 15th April surrounded by my 4 grandchildren and 3 of my children. My eldest daughter was too ill to be part of the celebrations, but she sent my present with her brother. Sometimes only simple pleasures in life with people that mean the most to you, make the best birthdays. We had so much fun together, that my home was ringing with shouts of pleasure and laughter. We played Boggle and Connect 4 together. I did not even bother to go out in the evening because I had such a wonderful day with my children and grandchildren, that There was nothing more I needed to make it an even better birthday.

Have a good Sunday Ladies

LaineyT

Morning ladies,

Happy Belated Birthday Sugarbaby it sounds like you had a wonderful day x
Welcome Tonisfriend

I have been reading along with all your news but we were away for a few days in York so only just catching up. We had a lovely time, the weather although cold stayed dry so we did a lot of walking and sightseeing, I chose to wear my superga trainers and was glad of their cushioning on my poor tired feet! The hotel was quite swish with a beautiful view of the Minster so I was glad to have made an effort with my clothes and aimed for a casual chic look.
I have been putting some serious thought into my current style and trying to be honest with myself, I long to be a tall, willowy person that can pull off cute little layers etc BUT in reality I am 5ft4 with shorter legs than body and a curvy figure. A lot of my clothes, especially the tops are patterned but in reality I suit the plainer, block colours and that's what I'm going to concentrate on in the future. So, am laying plans to put together a capsule wardrobe, buying a few quality items rather than a lot of impulse buys that hang, unworn in my cupboards. I have a budget in mind but will be holding off buying too much to start with, my weight loss plan continues and aim to hit my goal weight by August, slow but steady does it, think a quicker loss would age me somewhat.
Chanie am sorry to hear that you are so down about your weight, would be more than happy to be your diet buddy if that would help, mutual encouragement and all that

Ellsbel

Hi everyone and welcome Tonisfriend
Belated Happy Birthday wishes Sugarbaby. I'm glad you had a good day:)
Chanie we all have blips - I sometimes find that if I forget about dieting and focus on eating healthily instead, the pounds start coming off without feeling like I'm trying too hard - it's working for me at the moment and I feel good about not getting too hung up on being "on a diet" if that makes sense?
Sorry this is a bit of a selfish post though; I've been feeling really unwell these past few days - as though I've got Flu symptoms but without the streaming nose, etc., just aches all over.
It's something I get from time to time that rarely lasts more than 24 hours but this time it's gone on for a few days and the pain and difficulty moving around is worse than usual.
I managed to get an appointment at our local medical centre for yesterday morning and the Doctor I saw said that it could be fibromyalgia and suggested making an appointment with my own GP.
LL, I know this is something you deal with and wondered if you could point me toward any useful resources? I've been reading up on it and nodding my head (metaphorically, as my neck is very painful right now!) at the symptoms listed and the flare up triggers - it all makes so much sense to me!
Anyway, sorry to be a bit "me, me, me" - all is well with me otherwise and I've been keeping up fabbing up until now - still in PJ's and on sofa today, I'm afraid.
Have a good Sunday, all x

lessonlearned

Ok ...long post alert to answer Ellsbels questions about fibromyalgia. So those who aren't interested feel free to skip. :rotfl:

Fibromyalgia is basically the technical term for muscle pain and weakness. Unfortunately not much is known about the condition and some medics will even question that it exists at all. (A bit like ME - often GPS can be rather dismissive).

But yes a flare up can feel exactly like the flu. The day after my husbands funeral I couldn't even get out of bed. I had just pushed myself to the point of utter exhaustion and the pain was so bad I felt I had been hit by a truck.

Very few medics can offer any real help other than to pump you full of pain killers, they usually start with nsaids. They might work for a while (if you can manage them) but they are only a stop gap. Some GPs will suggest anti depressants because they think fibromyalgia is psychosomatic.

However as I am sure you will agree it is very real and can be very debilitating. As well as the pain there is also the exhaustion. And it can be a vicious circle.

The drug route is not the way out of the maze, it won't break the circle. .Often drugs merely mask symptoms and don't actually tackle the root problems.

The body has a nasty habit of adjusting to the drug regime, so any relief will be temporary. In short your body gets use to them, adjusts and then they become ineffective, this is particularly the issue with pain relief.

Most drugs work by suppressing something, i.e. The immune system or the pain response mechanisms so there will be side effects because the body is out of balance. In the long term this imbalance can make matters worse.

Because the body can adjust to pain relieving drugs so quickly - often as little six weeks they can become very addictive. It took me a year to wean myself of omeprazole.

Ok that's the preamble over as to why a drug regime might not be suitable for you.

Because I can't take any form of nsaids I was forced to look elsewhere. Fortunately I had a great GP who was not averse to trying complimentary therapies and who guided me in my research for drug free alternatives.

I have discovered that Fibromyalgia is part of a wider issue, namely the endocrine system.....i.e. The adrenals and the thyroid. If they are not working to full capacity they can cause muscle pain as can problems with the gut.

So IBS, GERD, thyroid problems, muscle pain all seem to be linked. They don't seem to work in isolation. you may well have more than one issue to deal with.

So for me I started dealing with my gastro problems. Saw a nutritionist and it was she who asked about my fibromyalgia. She explained the links and set me on the path to healing.

Now you may not have symptoms such as IBS, or be aware that your adrenal system is compromised - you may be symptom free and the pain might simply have gone straight for your muscles but even so I would suggest start with your diet.

A good clean diet, avoiding all junk, sugars and maybe grains (at least for a few weeks). Keep a food diary and monitor your pain. Do certain foods make you feel worse.

Second.......plenty of sleep and rest. This is crucial.

Third........take some extra vitamins. bit B complex, Vit D, Vit C, magnesium citrate. I also added a probiotic for good measure. It has helped my digestive issues enormously and I soon notice a difference if I stop taking them.

Magnesium is extremely important. All my research points to low levels of magnesium being a major factor in muscle pain. As well as taking magnesium orally I also add magnesium to my bath water three times a week. (Good old Epsom salts to you and me - cheap as chips).

Magnesium will also help you sleep so take it at night and have your bath at night.

I find warmth eases pain. My Physio rcommends keeping your feet warm, and not letting your back get cold. Warm baths, cosy throws whilst watching tv, an electric blanket or water bottle for the bed. Lavender wheat packs help my neck. Those self heating pads are good for bad back pain.

The big one is avoid stress. Yes I know easier said than done at times, but if you have serious amounts of stress, especially chronic long term stress, in your life you need to find ways of managing it until you can get rid of it.

This is where self care comes in, learn how to switch off and make time for yourself. Quiet time just for you, doing what makes you happy. It could be pottering about in the garden, a good book, a nice tv programme, a soak in the bath.

Regular Physio or massage will help enormously. I know NHS provision can be sketchy but this is one thing I find works wonders.

Which brings me to exercise.......I know that when you are in pain the last thing you feel like is exercise!! But it is essential. However, it has to be the right kind for you. Don't just hit the gym or start your own exercise plan without proper supervision.

This is where a few visits to a Physio will reap dividends. They will give you a targeted exercise "homework" programme. They will make sure you are doing them correctly.

If you really can't afford to pay for Physio there are quite a few videos on you tube. So just google your painful areas and watch and learn.

However, it might be worth getting someone to watch you do them for the first time to make sure you are doing them correctly, or maybe try and do them in front of a full length mirror.

Finally .......learn to laugh. Daily. If you have nothing to laugh about then make a point of adding laughter to your daily regime. Seek out the ridiculous and laugh. Watch funny films or TVs programmes every day. Avoid depressing yourself, don't be a news junkie, avoid social media. Avoid people who drag you down or make you feel bad. Only spend time with people who make you feel good. Watch daft animal videos on you tube. Listen to music that thrills you and makes you want to dance. Sing .....it's good for the lungs and lifts the spirits. Dance. Pretend to be Tina Turner and strut your stuff whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. :rotfl:

Finally lots of TLC. And self care. Which is what this thread is all about. Love yourself and start putting yourself first now and again.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you "tough, you're stuck with fibromyalgia, there's nothing to be done, go away and live with it".

That is just not true. There is lots you can do but you might have to do it by yourself.

Fibromyalgia doesn't just hit out of the blue - it takes a long time to develop muscle pain and stiffness. It comes about through years of stress and self neglect.

It is not a natural part of aging and has nothing to do with the menopause. It is not an inevitable part of getting older, and it is definitely not "all in your mind".

Good luck and Let the healing begin.......

PS. Edited to add........

A way to describe the pain of a flare up is I say it feels like I've gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. The problem is there's nothing to see, no bruising to highlight what's going on. Sometimes even the surface of your skin feels so tender that the merest touch to the body feels like a blow, even combing your hair makes your scalp hurt.

The only way to deal with a flare up is rest but once you get things under control and get stronger then the flare ups will be few and far between and you will always be able to pin point the trigger.

I have now got to stage where I know exactly what will trigger a flare up so can usually take the necessary steps to avoid one. Obviously some situations cannot be avoided.....dads death and the subsequent difficulties with my sister was my last trigger and obviously I couldn't side step that one.

However, Since then I have managed to avoid all stressful situations and I feel so much better.

I recently read a very interesting book called "The Highly Sensitive Person". It isnt about fibromyalgia but it talks about how some people are more subject to "overwhelm" than others. So factors like noise, bright lights, lack of sleep, environmental factors, stress, "emotional vampires" in our lives (my sister......lol). Some people are more affected by external stimuli than others. I am such a person. I have always known I need peace, quiet and rest or I get sick (migraines, stomach upsets).

Luckily my husband, despite being a complete extrovert and a real party animal with annoying Tigger like exuberance, realised I needed times when I could just be quiet and so never took offence when I told him to b&gger off and leave me alone.......in fact he would protect me and allow me the space I needed.

Now through my research I have learned that fibromyalgia is just another part of the jigsaw puzzle, another part of the "overwhelm" so I now know how to protect myself from flare ups.

I think It's all about learning how to avoid the trigger points and boosting your overall health and well being and yes that magic word ........."vitality".

That's what you need to do. Work on improving your energy levels and you will get fewer flare ups.

maman

Sorry we missed your birthday sugarbaby but so pleased you had a good, family day.:A


Hope you feel a bit better soon ellsbel. You've got plenty of food for thought from LL. Although I know nothing about the ailment, it's possible that the doctors prescribe anti-depressants as a muscle relaxant. I have some to take when my back seizes up from time to time. Fortunately I've had no issues for several months but I always carry them with me.


I feel for you with the weight gain chanie. I know how miserable it can make you feel. Maybe it's having the children home for Easter that's caused it. Now you're back to work it should be easier to eat healthily.


Sounds like you had a good break in York lainey. Like you, I'm much happier in plain block colours. One thing you can do is introduce texture with different fabrics. I particularly like wearing the velvet things I've got. If I do wear any pattern it's generally with a scarf.


I'm having a lazy day. I showered, did my hair and creamed myself earlier but I'm just slopping around in leggings and a long sleeved top (albeit clean ones). I am keeping up with my sonic brush and using a scrub a couple of times a week too. DD1 called around earlier and we had a coffee while she told me all about her holiday in NYC. I've got a couple of occasions to get fabbed up for this week. One is just a casual pub meal with friends but on Thursday I'm off to the opera. I'll wait to see what the weather's doing before deciding what to wear. On Wednesday I've booked myself in for a massage and facial. It's another Groupon deal.


I hope all goes well with your friend visiting LL and enjoy Chatsworth. I'll get there one day!!:)

lessonlearned

Happy belated birthday Sugar baby. Hope your daughter continues to get better.

Maman...yes you the right anti depressants also serve as a muscle relaxant which can help alleviate pain.

I tend to go with block colours too. I don't feel right in patterns.

Lovely drying day here.....washing everything in sight.:rotfl:

hex2

ellsbel, I was 'diagnosed' with fibro some years ago, and agree with LLs points.

Personally, at the time I was told I struggled to walk a few hundred yards, had previously been running 5km 3 times a week so a huge impact on me with young children. Saw an older doctor who said stress related, take ibuprofen for six months and see how you get on. I refused to do this and made life style changes instead. I lost weight which helped with the pressure on my joints. I changed my heavy clutch for an automatic car. I changed job to one that worked better with tiredness and the delightful 'fibro' fog, and that was supposedly less stressful. We bought a good mattress so I don't lie in bed and ache.

The real change was when an online friend was diagnosed, and she tried a paleo diet which worked for her. I did the same (and lost even more weight as a result!) and have now established that its all grains that are my food trigger but I can have dairy in moderation which is good. Stress and tiredness have an impact still but mine is mostly manageable without pain relief. I also find the more that I do on my better days, the more I can do if that makes sense. I still have the odd zombie day but they are the exception rather than the default as they were a few years ago.

anyway, much sympathy from me, and I hope you find your own ways of managing it.