Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

lessonlearned

Good morning lovely ladies.........

Hope you all had and continue to have a lovely Easter.

Hi Flo61 lovely to "meet you". I am a huge fan of "the "just last season" website, I was only browsing last night. Saw a fabulous evening dress but I don't know what I was doing wrong but I couldn't place an order. Don't know whether it was me or their website so I'll try again today. If not I'll ring them a try and sort it out. I fancy it for my cruise and as you say at £49 it's a bargain.

The Jacque Verte range just seem to suit my shape and I know I can buy online and they will be a perfect fit, right length, right sleeve length etc. I have slim shoulders and a generous bust so often have to alter the fit but I find JV just seem to work for me.

This year I have gone back to Primarni for cheap and cheerful wardrobe fillers. For the last few years I never really saw anything I liked but this year I just seem to have struck lucky. I have discovered their range of "slouch fit" t shirts and again they seem perfect for me. They just skim rather than clinging too tight across the bust and fall nicely over the tummy.

I also prefer long sleeves that I can push up for a casual look if I'm warm or elbow length rather than that odd short sleeve length that sits somewhere a few inches above the elbow. That length just don't look right on me.

I know I sound very fussy but until I lose weight I try very hard to wear clothes that make me look taller and slimmer, so it's top to toe one colour dressing and clothes that fit nicely without clinging. A tall order sometimes so I'm delighted to have found some cheap and cheerful quick fixes.

I know they probably won't last long but as I don't intend remaining my current size (I WILL shift this weight) then I'm not too concerned that most of it will only be one seasons wear.

SFT I totally agree with your comments about capsule wardrobes. I do like variety and choice. I couldn't live permanently with a limited range of choice but my attempts at a capsule wardrobe are really aimed at the holiday.

I have just checked the weather forecast for the Baltic and as I suspected it is likely to be changeable and unpredictable so it will have to be layers (and a raincoat and umbrella) so I wanted to to be able to mix and match. I think sticking to a palette of blues/greys/greens should work for me.

I tried it on Saturday night. I wore denim blue jeans, a pale blue fine knit sweater and than my new "Chanel" inspired coatigan which is an airforce type blue/cream small check. I stood back and thought it needs something extra so experimented with scarves Eventually settling on a heathery violet pashmina. It looked just right, and stopped the ensemble from beingToo blue focussed. So I will add a few bright pashminas and scarves for splashes of colour.

I have been experimenting with different ways of tying scarves too. Trying to be all ooh la la la French chic.:rotfl:

Back in a mo.........

lessonlearned

Rubyslipoers ...good to hear from you. You sound a bit brighter.

I am glad my question intrigued you. I threw it in to help you focus on what you really want because that is the bottom line isn't it.
At least by stepping back a bit and asking yourself such an important question it gives you a base from which to work. Your path is clearer.

I think childcare is often far more difficult than we expect it to be. It can be all encompassing and it is so easy to be subsumed into the role of "mummy" and lose sight of ourselves. I hear this time and again. New mums often feel overwhelmed, that they have been swallowed up by motherhood and have lost their inner self.

Motherhood is also exhausting, bad enough when it's one at a time but with twins the workload must be truly overwhelming. And yes you are right the cost of childcare or buying help can be prohibitive when there is only one income.

Of course you feel resentful at times.....that's normal.

I was lucky in that my husband was a very perceptive and understanding man....he once said "on The one hand it's too much for you but on the other it's not enough". He understood the balance of exhaustion and frustration.

Yes, physically you are exhausted but mentally you are frustrated. You would love some time to yourself to do "you stuff" but you don't get that time. And then when you do you are too tired to make good use of it. It seems like a vicious circle but here's the thing .......it's not permanent......it will end. You will come through this. As soon as you get a few breaks when they are at play group, nursery or pre school you will feel different again.

I have a friend who is a GP and he was very sympathetic and understanding (I did suffer from quite severe post natal depression and he was a huge help in getting me through it) . He said that he noticed that his new mum patients all seemed to struggle - especially the ones who were Intelligent, Independent and worldly, who had plans, dreams and ambitions. They were the ones who felt overwhelmed and "imprisoned" - his choice of words.

(He and his wife couldn't have children so they adopted but his wife had the same issues, so it's not just All down to hormones).

He said he noticed that as soon as the little ones started nursery or school then the mums blossomed. He said they were like butterflies newly escaping from a chrysalis. All of a sudden they look better, they dress better, they wear make up, they are happier and healthier and didnt visit his surgery so often.......

He was a very wise man and I often think of his words because they don't just apply to new mums but also to carers, another group who can get subsumed into the role and who get overwhelmed.

I know this sounds sexist but little boys are very hard work. They are bundles of energy. I realised they are a bit like dogs...... they need proper food and to be run off their feet. Lots of exercise, running about to let off steam and tire them out. Without it my boys got very cranky. The needed to run around in the fresh air every day or they would be unbearable.

My MIL was no help either. My boys would get very difficult if they were hungry and sweet things would just make them hyper. MIL would stuff them with sweet treats and they would get sugar rushes and would be practically uncontrollable. She then complained they were too naughty and she couldn't manage them........

So just as soon as they are old enough.......good plain food, restrict the sweet treats and run them off their feet.

Just hold on, you'll get there. One fine day they will sleep, they will no longer be in your hair all the time and you will start to get some breaks.

You may even find that as they get older your husband gets more involved and is a bit more hands on. Some men genuinely can't cope with babies, with the constant noise and mess but it doesn't need necessarily mean they are bad fathers. Some men need time and some come into their own once the children a bit older.

It does sound like your husband feels a bit jealous and resentful because the boys are getting the lions share of your attention. Some men do feel a bit left out. Of course the answer is for him to roll up his sleeves and get stuck in.

Perhaps he will - in good time. Perhaps when the boys get to the kicking a football, wrestling and just the normal boys rough and tumble type play that dads are so good at.

Keep your pecker up......again I know this sounds sexist but when your boys are in their teens they will be so much easier than teenage girls. Far less angst and worry.

As they get older boys are more straightforward and uncomplicated compared with girls. Less drama. They are also very protective and affectionate to their mums.

I promise you, your hard work will be rewarded. You will reap the benefits in years to come. You just need to hold on and ride it out.

Hope you have a fabulous holiday.

chanie

ruby I second what ll wrote. Those early years are unrelenting and you are approaching the most difficult stage (toddlers). It does get easier though. What helped me was focussing on mini milestones e.g. their birthdays, Xmas, their free nursery hours, starting school etc.

I'm off for the rest of the week now as the children are into their last week of their Easter holidays. Plus, we have DS' birthday party this weekend, so I'm preparing for that. I've been buying a few bits and pieces for the party with the weekly shop, so I'm kind of on top of it. I'm going to write the final list of what we need to do and work through it whilst I'm off.

sukeyboo

Ruby - I'm not really much help on the advice front with the boys as I have never had children but just wanted to send a hug and hope that you are feeling better.

Had a lovely facial last week - it was so relaxing I nearly nodded off during it

Still keeping up with the facial cleansing routine and it seems to be paying dividends as my spot breakouts have definitely improved :T

Had a quick look at the 'just last season' website last night and there are some lovely items on there - thanks for the heads-up Flo61 and welcome to the thread. I will have another look when I have more time.

maman

I'm catching up after my Easter break. It wasn't a holiday as such (at a conference) but enjoyed it all the same.:)


I was doing layering and capsule over the weekend. My basics were black jeans and my black pencil skirt, two black cardigans and a black jacket. Then I had coloured tops to wear and scarves that went with them (mostly in red, purple and aubergine). Mostly we were out all day so I needed something that looked smart enough in a casual restaurant in the evening. The day we had time to go back to the hotel I changed into my pencil skirt and green chiffon blouse. I'm not averse to the od thing from Primark but most of my clothes are either quality basics from John Lewis or similar, or from TKMaxx or brands from CS.


Glad to hear you sounding a bit brighter ruby. I'd let your in-laws have the boys. If not for a day, at least for a morning or afternoon. Late 60s is hardly ancient and there are two of them plus they can rest after they've given them back;). Start by asking if they can have them for a couple of hours while you get your hair cut.:)


I'm curious saving for tomorrow what you were eating before that was so much cheaper than eating healthily. Because I follow Slimming World, I eat at least a third of all my food as fruit or veg plus lean protein and plainish carbs. I find by shopping mostly in Aldi, it's easy to buy fruit and veg cheaply.


I've had a bit of a pamper session this morning in between sorting out the washing. With some mousse my hair coped well with soft water while I was away but good to get back and get some chalk back into it.:D

lessonlearned

Good afternoon lovely Ladies.

Just back from Sainsbobs and now just having a little rest before I put the shopping away.

SFT. Re healthy eating costs. I think you do have to shop around. And whilst I would like to eat only grass fed beef, line caught fish and organic this and that......well if I lived alone perhaps but I have a 6ft 3" son who has hollow legs, so I'm afraid I do cut cornerss.

Having said that I agree that with Maman. I am a huge Aldi (and Lidl) fan, although tend to use Aldi more purely because it is nearer. They have really upped their game, they have even started doing organic meats and chickens. Their deli stuff is brilliant - as good as any posh farmers market. I've heard that their f&v varies from store to store but our local Store is excellent.

Today I went to went to Sainsbobs because I needed cat food so bought my f&v there. Most of it is yellow stickered because it will be used within a couple of days.

I think The trick is shop around and cook from scratch. Maybe watch the protein portion sizes, i.e. Smallish meat or fish portion but loads of veg.

I watched an eat for less type programme last night. They were aiming to cook a meal for 4 for £5, and to reduce waste. The recipes were quite interesting, although a bit carb heavy for me but with a few substations It's easy enough to reduce the carb content.

When I get back from from my holiday I aim to start growing a few more salads and vegetables again. I didn't bother last year.

DS2 and I are also going to have a go at hydroponic gardening. The aim is to grow a few simple things over the winter. IKEA have got kits. We are going to start with just one tray and see how it goes.

chanie

I think that healthy eating can be expensive until you get into the swing of it. You can easily get sucked into buying all the 'healthy snacks' like yoghurt and spray oils etc. Once you know what you are doing, you can go off piste more easily.
I'd recommend checking out your local grocers or market for fruit and veg. At my local market, I can buy a huge bowl of blue berries for the same price as a handful in Lidl.

Toni'sfriend

Hello Ladies
I need help. Can I join you?
I am getting on a bit (although young in outlook, I hope), retired and live with my OH and grown up son in a small town close to a big city in Scotland. We've had a tough past 18 months. Several very close relatives were diagnosed with terminal illnesses with the inevitable results and in consequence we have been focusing on others and neglecting ourselves and each other, Not a complaint just a fact of life. However, we have realized that things do have to change now so I do have a plan of sorts.
I need to loose 3 stone for the good of my health as much for my appearance. I'm happy if this is only 1lb a week because it would mean it would still be gone by the end on the year.
I need to get back into a proper regime of taking care of my health and my looks. I was at home be myself yesterday and spent the afternoon giving myself a facial, doing my nails etc., etc., etc. Need to keep all of this up.
Hair is a disaster:(. Made an appointment to have it done next Tuesday (discount day for pensioners). Any advice on a style for someone with a little round. chubby face?
Need to revamp my wardrobe. I don't even own a dress or skirt. OH bought me a few tops today and I used some Christmas gift vouchers to buy a couple of pairs of smart trousers. Need to stop being such a slob and make an effort.
Most importantly we both need to start getting out and about again, taking care of one antoher and starting to laugh again. I'm meeting my sister in law and cousin for lunch tomorrow. OH was out with a friend yesterday. We plan to walk into town on Saturday and have a light lunch and have a walk planned for Sunday.
So, can you help with a bit of advice, support and encouragement? I do hope so.

chanie

Toni's friend welcome to the thread. You've had a really stressful time recently, but your positive attitude will take you a long way.
I think getting your hair done is a big step in the right direction.
Dress for your shape. Work out which season you are and buy clothes in these colours. Chuck out any tatty or I'll fitting clothes and gradually update your wardrobe.
Spend time planning new healthy meals which you will enjoy eating. Bulk our your meals with fruit and veg.
Light make to start if you don't wear it often. A light foundation or tinted moisturiser, with a tinted lip balm can do wonders.

maman

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

So, can you help with a bit of advice, support and encouragement? I do hope so.

:wave:welcome. You've come to the right place.:)


It sounds like you've come up with a pretty good plan already. I started on here by losing 3.5 stone in a year so I recognise where you're coming from.:)


Try googling hairstyles for round faces and look at the images. Personally I like a chin length bob but it depends what sort of hair you have. Maybe the hairdresser can advise too.


It's great that your OH is with you on making changes and being retired you have the time to concentrate on fabbing although I'd counsel anyone to find some time to focus on themselves.


This morning I've been on an hour's walk. There's a nationwide scheme and there is something similar in Scotland:
http://www.pathsforall.org.uk/pfa/health-walks/find-a-health-walk.html
I was introduced to them by a friend. I find if I've made a commitment to turn up I'm more likely to go.


Perhaps with the summer coming up you'll venture into a skirt/dress. It always helps to get a bit of sun on your legs although I'd recommend Palmer's Cocoa Butter gradual tanning moisturiser to get you started although it does smell a bit like chocolate biscuits!:rotfl:


Other than my walk and tackling more of the washing mountain from being away I've not done a great deal today. We're eating out of the freezer and cupboards as I didn't want to do a main shop until tomorrow. I'll do my meal plan later and then we'll be set up for the coming week.