Frump to Fab 2017 - A Whole New World

indiepanda

Well, so much for the pausing on the dating thing... The cute and kissable guy who had said he didn't quite see us as boyfriend and girlfriend carried on messaging me just sort of friendly like, and then I flirted with him a bit when a bit tipsy on Saturday and next thing I knew I'd suggested meeting again, which we did last night... and we're seeing each other again on Thursday.

Not quite sure if it's leading anywhere, but anyone who makes me breakfast and offers to do the washing up at my house gets some brownie points at least. And if I have to kiss some frogs it's nice to be kissing one that is a decent kisser!!!

The house fabbing is continuing apace. I have a carpet fitter coming round tonight to quote for new carpets and other than that it's painting and finishing touches to go. I bought new curtain rails, blackout blinds and a chandelier over the weekend. May well buy some new bedlinen at some point and perhaps some new pictures too, but want to wait till I have the room organised with the other things to see what would really complement it all.

Floss

Go Indie, you hussy :D I completely agree about the frogs - when internet dating before finding DH, I too stuck with one guy as a friend+ purely on the kisses and he way he treated me, unfortunately there was no chemistry, but then I found DH and started messaging for about 2 months before we met up

savingfortomorrow

my last post i mentioned ironing like a demon on steroids, well bam and dont i get sick and end up on the steroids. I try to avoid but i understand that a serious and fast deterioration needs swift treatment. I just dont like the effects on me and i always seem to get every side effect associated with them. i knew i was brewing some infection and bam down like a tonne of bricks. I have a long history of respiratory issues. So i was aware of the need but I really feel annoyed as it was 2 years since i needed them. i was like purple, white and red, all in a day!

i got a few eyeliners as on offer. 75% off and all added up to less than a pan of my fancy bread. (well the bread was out of stock so not too bad)

I made more of an effort since feeling bad, make up and hair. i find it makes me feel better. i think i will carry on, it has taken a few months to accept i really need and want to restart make up.

ScarlettMcCain

Hope you are all feeling better now, sft, sugarbaby and LL. Also hope that your hospital appointment went well sugarbaby?

Indie, as long as you are having fun then I think that's the main thing at the moment, your last chap sounded a bit intense! If he fancies doing any more washing up then kindly point him in my direction

Unfortunately I am feeling decidedly un-fab at the moment, pukey babies for the past few days I am so very, very tired, hot and sticky, think I smell of baby sick (hopefully not!) and am definitely getting fatter, all I've done is grab food on the run and eat it whilst being whinged at by babies. OH on the other hand has been to the pub two nights on the trot :mad: fair enough tonight is a family friend's dinner but I could really have done without him being there and me being at home cleaning DS1's latest vomiting session off the kitchen floor! Maybe next time I check in I will have happier times to report…..

indiepanda

Floss wrote: »

Go Indie, you hussy :D I completely agree about the frogs - when internet dating before finding DH, I too stuck with one guy as a friend+ purely on the kisses and he way he treated me, unfortunately there was no chemistry, but then I found DH and started messaging for about 2 months before we met up

Ah, there's definitely some chemistry here. But am just trying not to get too overexcited as I've had a couple of fairly short lived things from internet dating where all seemed good at first and a couple of months in it all started going weird. To be fair that's not limited to internet dating... just the way I tend to meet people these days. There's plenty of oddballs down the pub / at clubs which is how I used to meet guys in the old days.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

Indie, i hope you continue to have a good time with Mr decent Kisser.
Your house fabbing is coming along nicely.

SFT, I am sorry to hear that your health has taken a real nosedive. I hope you will be back on your feet soon.

Ruby, oh dear, you and your boys are really being put through the wringer. I hope you are not completely exhausted. I am sorry your husband is not offering you and the boys practical help and support when the boys are so ill. You can only do your best at such a difficult time. I hope the boys make a complete recovery soon.

My hospital appointment was straightforward yesterday. I just have to wait for the results of the heart scan and to find out if they want me to undergo any other heart tests. (hopefully not)

I went to Karaoke last night. In fact I went to 2 Karaoke's. The owner of the wine bar for the 1st Karaoke got a phone call to tell him that his Mother had just died so the Karaoke was cancelled out of respect for his grief.

I went to the 2nd Karaoke and had a really enjoyable night out. :DThere were so many singers, so I only got the opportunity to sing 2 songs. I sang 2 of my regular songs: It's Now or Never and Return to Sender both by Elvis. It was such a liberating feeling singing without feeling at all breathless. It was also so much fun dancing sitting down when the other singers were performing.

I have to take it easy today as my lovely evening out last night, has really taken it out of me and I do not feel very well. I know that I just have to put my feet up and let the housework go hang for a day if I want to be back to my new normal by tomorrow and be symptom and pain free.

ScarlettMcCain

Your karaoke nights sound so much fun sugarbaby! I hope you have managed to rest today and are feeling better

More baby puke here unfortunately, I had a long shower and hair wash after baby bedtime as DS1 threw up all over me earlier I then had to put a pile of clean washing away upstairs as I never get to do it with the boys around; went downstairs thinking that OH would have tidied the living room and/ or kitchen by then but no!! Literally all he had done was move plates off the dining table into the kitchen, not even give them a rinse off and put them in the dishwasher. I have got the washing out of the machine (third load today!) and retired to bed.....

Another disappointment this evening was a cancellation email from my flaky friend - sigh - I did think it was coming but still, not nice to receive. I hadnt heard anything from her about our bank holiday get together so emailed her last night, and surprise surprise, she replied today to say shes double booked herself for lunch that day. To be fair she did offer to come round early evening instead, but that is a busy time with baby dinner/ bath/ bedtime, and she had made a big point of saying she wanted to take me for lunch as a birthday present. Given that my birthday was in April and she has now double booked herself twice, I dont think she really meant it.....

Hope everyone is feeling more fab than me!

indiepanda

Rubyslippers77 wrote: »

Indie, as long as you are having fun then I think that's the main thing at the moment, your last chap sounded a bit intense! If he fancies doing any more washing up then kindly point him in my direction

Unfortunately I am feeling decidedly un-fab at the moment, pukey babies for the past few days I am so very, very tired, hot and sticky, think I smell of baby sick (hopefully not!) and am definitely getting fatter, all I've done is grab food on the run and eat it whilst being whinged at by babies. OH on the other hand has been to the pub two nights on the trot :mad: fair enough tonight is a family friend's dinner but I could really have done without him being there and me being at home cleaning DS1's latest vomiting session off the kitchen floor! Maybe next time I check in I will have happier times to report…..

Oh definitely having fun with this guy, and so far I am seeing nice positive signs - like he is coming over to dinner today and we are going to cook together and he has checked what wine I like - now I am thinking through my ex's and so few bothered to bring wine, much less check if I liked what they were thinking of bringing. And though he is coming across as keen, he isn't annoying me by messaging me while I am trying to work which the intense guy I was seeing early last year did. Anyway, we shall see how it shapes up.

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time at home and that your flaky friend has cancelled on you. What an idiot she is thinking that early evening when you have bed times to deal with would be a good time to visit, almost sounds like she is deliberately suggesting a time that she knows will be inconvenient so she doesn't have to come but can get some credit for suggesting it - i.e. it's not always her saying she can't meet.

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

Hello Ladies,

Indie, i hope you continue to have a good time with Mr decent Kisser.
Your house fabbing is coming along nicely.

My hospital appointment was straightforward yesterday. I just have to wait for the results of the heart scan and to find out if they want me to undergo any other heart tests. (hopefully not)

I went to Karaoke last night. In fact I went to 2 Karaoke's. The owner of the wine bar for the 1st Karaoke got a phone call to tell him that his Mother had just died so the Karaoke was cancelled out of respect for his grief.

I went to the 2nd Karaoke and had a really enjoyable night out. :DThere were so many singers, so I only got the opportunity to sing 2 songs. I sang 2 of my regular songs: It's Now or Never and Return to Sender both by Elvis. It was such a liberating feeling singing without feeling at all breathless. It was also so much fun dancing sitting down when the other singers were performing.

I have to take it easy today as my lovely evening out last night, has really taken it out of me and I do not feel very well. I know that I just have to put my feet up and let the housework go hang for a day if I want to be back to my new normal by tomorrow and be symptom and pain free.

Thanks Sugarbaby, just been picking out carpet and paint colours this morning, getting excited about the idea of moving in soon. Especially as in getting stuff ready for my Edinburgh weekend away I bashed my head twice on the ceiling in the eves in my current bedroom this morning - so annoying doing that! Will be nice to be in a room with a high ceiling instead, and not to get so hot in the summer.

Hope you are feeling better after your rest, good to hear you are getting back to Karaoke.

I went to Ceroc last night, got some good dances in but there were quite a few guys there who really weren't very good despite doing the intermediate class and some of the guys I really enjoy dancing with weren't there - holiday season I guess. The teacher commented to the guys during the evening that some of them had stepped up to the intermediate class way too soon and were not leading properly and should go back to beginners - never heard a teacher say that before, but he was right. It's hard as a women, in a class you know where you are meant to go and you want to be helpful, but really you have to wait and let the guy lead you as they will never learn to lead in freestyle otherwise.

I have a couple more workshops booked for October to make up for all the lessons I will be missing while I am on holiday, doing a ladies styling workshop one weekend, a dips, drops and seducers workshop the next and a freestyle event the weekend after.

Right, must hit the shower! I won't be on line again till after the weekend so have a fab bank holiday weekend all xx

lessonlearned

Good morning lovely ladies

AH Ruby how my heart goes out to you.. if I lived near you I would be a surrogate granny to your little ones and give you a hand. It's awful when they are sick. Quite apart from the fact that it's horrible to see them poorly and that you are exhausted with caring for them.....then theres that washing and all the extra work.

I am trying so hard to Bite my tongue about your man.......but really is he blind. Can he not see that you only have one pair of hands. Even the most of non domesticated of males would surely realise that one person can only do so much. Surely he can see how much you are struggling.

My husband was in many ways a very "traditional man" and to be blunt he was something of a domestic disaster - a real klutz in the kitchen and he couldn't cook for toffee.......his signature dish was oven chips and egg...:rotfl: He was clumsy too and would break crockery (with hindsight an early symptom of his neurological illness but We had no idea at the time)

TBH he really wasn't a lot of use on the domestic front, but I knew that before we married. I went in with my eyes wide open. It was a running joke between us. But at least he tried and he really appreciated every little thing I did for him. He never took me for granted. And, despite having a very demanding job, working long hours, being on call and sometimes working away, he would do all he could to help. Especially when the boys or I were sick.

My eldest boy suffered from severe asthma as a baby. My husband couldn't take time off work but many is the time he stayed up all night to look after our boy whilst I got a bit of sleep and then he would stagger into work next day.

Many is the time he would come home from work and then have to go out and buy us food because I had spent the day nursing a sick child and hadn't been able to perform the most basic of domestic tasks.

There is nothing wrong with having a "traditional" some might say "old fashioned" relationship - after all those kind of relationships have served us well for millennia but they have to be based on mutual respect for the qualities each of us brings to the table.

A man can be useless on the domestic front but he can still be a loving husband and devoted father. I am afraid Your man is not treating you with respect, nor does he seem to show either you or the boys any consideration. Does he actually want a wife and family.

As for your flakey friend..........:mad: such a total lack of respect and lack of consideration.

Ruby ..........please don't be mad at me but I really think you could do with some assertiveness training. The people in your life are treating you with such disrespect and disregard for your feelings and wellbeing. I think you need to start digging your little heels in. You are letting them walk all over you.

Soon your boys will be at nursery and then it will be your time to make that stand. You will have a bit more time and energy to start thinking about your own needs. The boys will still get sick......they will pick up all manner of bugs and ailments when they first start nursery and school but you will get some breaks. You will turn into that butterfly I told you about.

What you do about your marriage is your own affair and I wouldn't dream of advising you but, if you want your relationship to work better for you then it has to be less one sided.

You seem to be the only one who is making any effort to make it a success. I do think you need to learn "to manage your man". I know that sounds Old fashioned but then again you seem to have a very old fashioned partner. So, if you really love him and want to make it work then he needs managing and manipulating. Yes I really do mean manipulating because let's face it he's not going to change.

As for your friend.......well I think you need to either let it go or just accept what crumbs of friendship she tosses your way and take them at face value. Take her offers of lunch etc with a generous pinch of salt, if they happen, they happen but don't pin too many hopes on them.

Again once when your children go out into the world you will quickly start to meet new people. Kids are a great way of making new friends and acquaintances. Being a sahm doesn't mean you have to have no social life and be confined to the home 24/7. I had quite the social whirl when I was a sahm.

Right now you are exhausted and so worn out you probably can't see the wood for the trees but just hang in there it will get easier and hopefully you will start to find ways to improve your situation.

chanie

Morning fabbers,

I got back from holiday in the early hours of the morning and am having a sneaky cuppa in peace whilst the children are asleep. We had a lovely time but it's good to be back home. Today, my plan is to tackle the mountain of holiday laundry and do a small food shop.