From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you CCL.

It's been a busy day today. We all went for a walk in the local woods this morning, including all the dogs. My old dog enjoyed himself immensely which was good to see. The moss was an incredibly vivid green especially the moss on the tree trunks. Lots of rain meant quite a fast flowing river, always interesting for a game of pooh sticks.

We got back and had a late lunch of chicken cobbler with roast potatoes and veg followed by chocolate brownies. My sons aka the gannets, managed to demolish the remainder of the brownies, so I spent some time making a lemon drizzle cake and batch of flapjacks in a bid to fill the tins!

I've got a fair amount of work done this evening although have a little more to do before bed. I found my payslip...it had arrived in the post and seems to show that the extra money was in fact some sort of salary arrears. Not sure how or why...? I'v put the majority away in another account for the minute and used a little on a work based subscription.

Cherryfudge

I'm glad the money really was yours!

Work sounds very tough at the moment and getting the first decree is bound to have an emotional impact. I'm glad you don't have to be there. Keep your chin up, you will soon be through this time.

The walk sounds lovely.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge.

Well another week seems to be speeding by. I'm always thankful to get to Thursday night! Work is crazily busy with extra meetings and Christmas events needing to be factored in.

I've been brave today and rung an estate agent to get a valuation done on the house. They could fit me in on my day off tomorrow so now am feeling absolutely petrified about showing the estate agent round. I know it needs to be done and I've found it difficult to find a day when I haven't got children with me and when I've got a day off. I'm hoping that the valuation will help me to think through the options.

I had a NSD on Tuesday, the first for December. I'm starting to get a little concerned that I have done nothing about sorting out Christmas things yet, except to order the turkey and buy 3 packs of cards. I've said to DS that my contribution to his vehicle will have to suffice as a Christmas gift. I'm looking forward to seeing DD1 soon. It seems so long since I last saw her. Just got to get through the next couple of weeks...

WannabeFree

Hope tomorrow goes okay

x

crazy_cat_lady

Hope the valuation went ok HSL.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Wannabefree and CCL. My lovely mum and grandmother came to visit for the day to lend moral support. The estate agent was reassuring and realistic which was good. He was explaining that the market is very slow moving at the moment and there are a lot of houses on the market. I explained the situation so he knew why I needed a valuation and is sending a letter that I can forward to the solicitor. I guess the next step is to find out how much I could borrow for a mortgage in my name only and see if it's enough to buy the ex out or not.

The puppies really didn't know what to make if a stranger in our midst. One managed to slip her collar and shot off, so I was especially glad of extra hands to help keep them under control while the estate agent was going around.

I've been really tired this evening, I think due to the getting the house ready for the valuation and the relief once it had been done. I made kale hash for tea and got a batch of vanilla muffins and chocolate brownies made. DS2 wanted to assist which was nice as I don't often get help! So glad it's the weekend.

Cherryfudge

Good for you, getting the valuation sorted! Hopefully when you hear about the mortgage, whichever way it goes, that will show you the best way forward.

Hope you have a restful weekend (and in my head, the estate agent knocks on the door tomorrow and says he wants to buy all the puppies - maybe I read too many unlikely stories? I can tell I'm getting overtired. )

Anyway, here's to weekends.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge...wouldn't that be amazing, the puppies elsewhere!

Today has been a weird day. I don't feel that I have accomplished much at all and seem to have been in a complete fog. The ex turned up this morning, after not seeing the children at all for the last 2 weekends, and took the DDs shopping, at their request. While I was on the school run yesterday, the ex had been to pick up DS1's vehicle and brought it here. Somehow this morning, the vehicle came up in conversation. We had talked about this vehicle at the time of the test drive and the ex had made it clear he would contribute about 50% which is the same as he paid for DD's vehicle, so I put down 25% and DS used some of his money to pay the rest. Due to the fact that the ex was dealing with the transaction, I transferred my contribution 10 days ago with the amount clearly referenced. It transpired today that the ex has transferred it back and won't let me contribute to DS's vehicle:(:(:(. I just don't understand it, especially when we had discussed it and he'd had the money for 10 days. I had thought that was DS's birthday and Christmas present sorted, so am now thinking again. I just feel upset that my contribution has been knocked back with no apparent logical reason. It's even more bizarre when yesterday the ex was telling me he had no work ( he's self employed) and he doesn't appear to have been busy for a few weeks now.

I ended up going to Mr T's for groceries and got some more logs to keep the wood burner going. I ended up spending more than I'd anticipated:(. Thankfully DS had been given a brace of pheasant yesterday so I've cooked pheasant and cider casserole for tea. Since I only had the DSs with me I ended up treating them to a Su9wa9 for lunch. I shouldn't have done it and I'm sure shows a tendency to over spend when emotionally low. Definitely something to guard against.

I really need to get myself in gear tomorrow to get ready for the new working week. We're experiencing quite a gale outside so hoping we still get plenty of sleep.

Kitten868

Don't think too much on it - that's the point. It's to mess with your mind. You know this so don't get sucked in. Keep that money to one side in case he changes his mind and "we had agreed" somewhere down the line.

Fantastic news on your first decree. You're getting there. And well done on the valuation. You'll find it much easier making a decision with all the information. You can get out your notebook and do all the sums. Then you can think about what you actually want. Xxxx

crazy_cat_lady

It's his way of maintaining control - he's doing it in the only way he still can.
Hope that you're feeling a bit better this morning.