From debt to freedom...

crazy_cat_lady

Sorry to say this HSL but your ex is an ar$&hole - and I dislike his behaviour easily as much as that of my own ex. It is shocking how slow the legal system goes - I keep nagging my solicitor on a very regular basis. I really hope that he hasn't done that, but I won't be surprised if he has.

Honeysucklelou2

We were able to have lunch out unhindered, for which I am thankful. It did show up the anxiety felt leading up to the lunch, due to past experience but so glad that my mum could have her grandchildren around her on her birthday. DD3 got stuck in icing the cake. It looked less like a giant cupcake and more like a toadstool house out of an Enid Blyton fantasy story, especially when smarties were added for decorative effect!

Today has been a tough day. Yesterday I discovered that the boiler was locking out regularly. If I press the reset button it quickly locks out again. I had enquirer about getting it serviced but the person .I've gone to in the past, is booked up until mid January:eek:. I need to look into getting a possible repair and service done although I am worried that the boiler is on its way out. Fortunately the girl's rooms are recent conversions so they have wall mounted electric heaters that are timer and thermostat controlled so their rooms are warm. I'm using the wood burner so the living room is nice and warm but we are getting through a surprising amount of wood. I've looked up prices online tonight to see if it's cheaper to get a bulk bag worth of logs delivered rather than buying a plastic bag from Mr Ts that lasts a night.

On top of the heating woes from yesterday today was awful at work to the point
I doubted whether I could do my job:(. There are lots of extra bits and pieces that are all good and noble things but trying to squeeze them in to a packed day and juggle my own children etc is tricky. Much to think about.

Cherryfudge

That sounds like an awful day, Honeysuckle. I can see there are a few videos on YouTube about boilers locking out, but I'm not techy enough to know how useful they'd be.

I hope work goes better... it sounds overwhelming but perhaps it was a perfect storm and isn't likely to happen again? We've had that sort of situation but could see it was likely to recur, and to protect myself I emailed the manager to say what was difficult and why - and where possible, changes that could be made to make it easier. Credit to him, he has made the whole place easier to work in. (Not entirely due to me, LOL). I don't know if your situation is one where this approach might help, though?

crazy_cat_lady

Rough time of year in education. Dark nights, dark mornings and hyper kids leading up to Christmas. I find that you just swap one stress for another, but you will get there - please don't doubt yourself. I think you're amazing and get exhausted just reading at how much stuff that you always get done.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge and CCL. Sometimes I've been able to press a button that stops the boiler from being locked out....a reboot button I guess, but it's stopped firing up after pressing that now . I did ring another heating company yesterday, that had been recommended by the old service person but they are really busy and one engineer down so they're not taking on any new customers:(:(. I'll have to research more alternatives over the weekend. Thankfully we have the wood burner but are going through lots if wood. I'll have to try and budget in for a small crate of logs as buying a bag at Mr T's will only last us for 1 evening and it seems an expensive way to buy wood.

I was able to have yesterday off which I was very grateful for. I had worked an extra day last week, so basically had the day off in lieu. After all the extras I was so behind on everything at home, so I got the kitchen sorted out and laundry. Drying things is proving quite difficult as the tumble dryer is so ineffective and takes 3 or 4 hours to get to a state of damp rather than dry. A parent at school recommended a heated airer which, when googled, looks quite good. It apparently only costs 6p an hour to run and can dry 15kg at a time. I will need to save up over a few weeks but worth a go!

The time off also gave me chance to go to the local butcher and get the Christmas turkey ordered and buy some mince to keep in the freezer for those times when a child announces they have cooking the next day and I don't have time to source it that evening. In the afternoon, the toddler and I simply sat and read "Owl Babies" until he fell asleep. I was tempted to but was worried I'd oversleep and forget school pick up time!

I have work today and then our staff Christmas meal. I've paid a deposit but will just need to pay the other half later and presumably any drinks. Since I'll be driving it won't be a huge cost.

I did have to spend £20 yesterday on a new pair of boots from Mr T's. My old ones had got to the point of splitting on the side so much so, that I have been dreading wet days as I was getting rather soggy feet. A definite essential spend:o

Cherryfudge

The boiler at Mum's often loses pressure and there's a little lever to pull till the pressure gauge gets back into the green... but that doesn't sound quite like the problem you're having? I hope you can find someone good to come out to it.
Someone else was looking into heated airers... was it HairyhandofDartmoor? It strikes me as something that would also keep the background temperature up in the spare room or wherever you'd keep it.

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

The time off also gave me chance to go to the local butcher and get the Christmas turkey ordered and buy some mince to keep in the freezer for those times when a child announces they have cooking the next day and I don't have time to source it that evening. In the afternoon, the toddler and I simply sat and read "Owl Babies" until he fell asleep. I was tempted to but was worried I'd oversleep and forget school pick up time!

Oh, this brought back so many memories - right back to being at school and tearfully trying to read my own writing the night before cookery lesson as I had no idea what the 'lerion' that I had to bring, was. :rotfl: My Dad decoded it in the end and Mum and I were so grateful - one lemon was duly bought.
Oh, and Owl Babies! What a classic! Coincidentally, it was my 23 year old's birthday recently and I gave him an Owl Babies card, followed by an owl-shaped cake as he's a bit of a owl fan. The cake was supposed to serve 25 but he's working his way steadily through it with a bit of help form the rest of us.
The new boots were definitely an essential - why do boots go at the side so often? I lost my favourites that way.
Enjoy your meal out!

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge. The meal out was interesting, a place I'd never been to before and was glad to get to as a completely different part of the county and not easy navigating new roads in the dark! The chefs have an open area where the food is cooked so you can see them preparing everything in front of you, should you choose to watch! I tried new things that were outside of my culinary range which is always interesting:).

Pay day was yesterday so I have spent about 2 hours going through every bill/direct debit to account for every penny. I've been able to pay council tax and the water bill online and have also done the Mr T main weekly shop. It takes a bit of time to navigate but worth not having to take 4 children round the supermarket on a Saturday. Bizarrely I have been paid an extra £144. As yet I haven't seen my pay slip so not sure if it's a council mistake or what it is. They have overpaid me before so am thinking human error more than anything else. I'll have to check with someone on Monday.

Work is still up and down. I shut myself in the staff loo and cried on Thursday.:( There is just so much to do and I'm struggling to meet the demands of home and work. In a while I'm going into work to try and get as much done as possible, given I'll have 4 children with me, then pick up the Mr T shopping on the way home.

crazy_cat_lady

Lots of love HSL - I always think this is the hardest half term.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you CCL. I spent a couple of hours at work this afternoon and got a fair bit done in preparation for Monday. Still got more to do tomorrow to feel truly prepared.

On my return the post was waiting for me, including a letter from the solicitor, telling me that a court date has been set for the first decree. Apparently I don't have to be there in person which is just as well because the court address is 200 miles away! Feeling such a mixture of emotions, mainly relief, then guilt for feeling relief, along with sadness that I tried for years to keep going in the face of behaviour that was unreasonable. Not sure what steps are next but this feels like a huge step.

We enjoyed visiting the village Christmas market tonight. The toddler was thrilled by all the lights. I did indulge and bought a small sticky cake for each of the children and a beaker of mulled wine for myself. I rarely drink alcohol at all but mulled wine is one drink that I do enjoy the odd glass at Christmas. I took £5 out in cash which made sure I was careful.

crazy_cat_lady

Congratulations HSL - that first decree is three quarters of the way there. Your feelings sound very similar to mine about the whole thing, but please try to let the guilt go about putting yourself first. I know it's hard, but it's what you deserve.