From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

Very glad to have got to this evening! It's been a very busy week at work with lots of extra bits and pieces going on that have taken thought and preparation. When I got home tonight I couldn't bear to be in so went for a walk in the nearby fields with DS1 and DS3 and an assortment of dogs. It was so lovely to fill my lungs with fresh air and just be. I felt so thankful for my sight, to be able to see the stunning colours in the sky. It was good to see DS1 and DS3 interacting. DS1 can be so good with him but is often busy with his own social life, so to have just the two of them together was great.

It's payday tomorrow so I need to sit down tonight and plan carefully for every penny. I need to check out oil prices now that the weather is getting colder at night. We try to manage with the log burner for as long as we can but I'm also aware that the boiler could do with a decent service this year which will take time for the plumber to get to ( he's always busy). October brings 2 of my DDs birthdays so need to factor in some entertainment money too.

On a money saving note, I went through my Amaz0n account the other day and decided it was ridiculous that I have been paying for Amaz0n music as well as prime. I think I signed up to a free day trial and forgot to cancel. I rarely use it and after I cancelled it, discovered that Prime has a music element to it. £7.99 a month saved but wish I'd thought about that sooner.

I checked the MSE credit club and the 2 double glazing loans that were pretty much the same amount have started to differ which I can only put down to the couple of overpayments that I've made to the one loan. Just goes to show that even small overpayments can make a difference.

Spendless

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

Didn't know that November resits were possible, thank you Spendless, I'll look into that. Wow, your DS has gone to uni now. That seems to have come quickly. Hope he settles in well.

Yes, we get quite amusing phone calls home from DS 'Can you dry clothes without a TD?' complaining about the price of cereal (a food he last ate when he was around 8yo) and overjoyed because the SU was running a 'stock exchange' bar and he'd grabbed 5 bottles of a vodka mix for £1 each that were now selling at £1.60. He's home at beg of next week so he can continue his driving lessons as he's close to putting in for his test. Was thinking of sending him back with some meals to freeze. Do you do this for your DD and if so what sort of things have you done?


Yes, some places do do Nov re-sits. I have to keep this as one of my options for DD for next year, applying to the college that offers it as we're about to change her schools, not ideal for a yr11 but widespread bullying has come to light and certainly makes sense of everything we've been going thru with her for last few month, such as school refusal and hiding herself away in inclusion unit.

That's why I'm in awe of you managing an additional 6 on your own. :beer:

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Spendless for your kind words.

I do send DD1 back with some freezer meals. It tends to be lasagnes more than anything as it's a favourite food. I'd have done cottage pie, if she liked it!! I use the foil dishes so they can be easily stacked in the small freezer space that she has. I tend to bake a carrot cake too when I visit .

DD1 has had some not so good news in the last week or two. One of her flat mates is no longer studying at the university, so despite signing a fixed term contract will no longer be there. I can understand obviously but the worry now is for DD1 and her 2 flat mates who will have to find another £166 a month to pay the rent:eek::eek:. She is worried which has had repercussions for her health unfortunately. They are hoping to find someone although .I'm not sure how easy that is at the start of an academic year. I want to help her but don't know how I can squeeze my budget any more...

Today is payday so I've paid DD3's School trip (£25) and £153 for a bill for septic tank clearance. I also spent £96 at Mr T's but that did include £21 on children's clothing, since they had a flash 25% off deal. It was all essentials rather than anything frivolous. DS3's potty training us going well at the moment, so am hoping that we'll only need nappies at night soon. He's able to manage in pants at nursery which is a great step forward.

The main DDs will go out on Monday. I have bought a small notebook to keep all my budgeting plans in one place. I use the spending tracker app to record and reconcile spends but am very much a pen and paper person when it comes to planning where the money goes!!

Spendless

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

DD1 has had some not so good news in the last week or two. One of her flat mates is no longer studying at the university, so despite signing a fixed term contract will no longer be there. I can understand obviously but the worry now is for DD1 and her 2 flat mates who will have to find another £166 a month to pay the rent:eek::eek:. She is worried which has had repercussions for her health unfortunately. They are hoping to find someone although .I'm not sure how easy that is at the start of an academic year. I want to help her but don't know how I can squeeze my budget any more...

Are you absolutely sure that DD1 and remaining flatmates are responsible for the shortfall if leaving student had already signed the contract?

I've known of cases both on here and in RL where the leaving student has been responsible for paying the rent if they've already signed, unless a replacement is found.

Honeysucklelou2

I will ask her to check but the landlord has given a month's grace because he's taken DD1's flatmate's bond as the rent for that month iyswim.

Eager_Elephant

Although the flatmate who has left may be responsible for her share of the rent, if she doesn't pay there is not a quick remedy to get things sorted and then the landlord may evict them all for non payment of rent.

Generally it will be a joint tenancy agreement with all 4 parties rather a tenancy each so that makes everyone jointly and severally liable.

I think the chances of them getting someone new are quite high, there are often people in halls who find it doesn't suit them or they don't get on with others on their floor etc - they just need to put the word out as much as possible.

Honeysucklelou2

It's that phrase, " jointly and severally liable" that sticks in my mind but I will ask DD1 to read it again carefully. I hadn't thought about people not liking halls etc. Good thought, thank you.:)

Yesterday I was too furious to be able to write about all of my day but feeling calmer now. At 2.30 the ex turned up yesterday, ostensibly to sort out tools. He still has a shed of tools here which gives him an excuse to turn up . I left to collect children and go to Mr T's. On my return he had dismantled the old sofa, which had seen better days and one seat was broken as of this week and put in its place a cream pre loved sofa. On the face of it, it seems a kind practical gesture, however not a word was mentioned to me. What if I'd have bought one and was waiting for delivery? It's that lack of courtesy and communication that really frustrates me. When I went outside later and looked in the trailer, I noticed that beneath the dismantled sofa were 5 bin bags. I pulled one out and found that he had decided to bin whatever he felt like while I'd been out. That included 20 items of clothing, including 2 of DD1's work shirts that she will need for work at Easter, about a dozen books, 2 pieces of financial paperwork addressed to me, parts of DS3's birthday present that he had had 2 weeks ago and the remote control to a cheap DVD player I'd bought, without which it will not work. I haven't binned so much as a catalogue of his because I take the point of view that it is his and therefore not my place to bin. It got me so annoyed that such respect for mine and the children's things is so lacking. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:Rant over! I did ask him for an assurance that he wouldn't get angry with me if this sofa got worn and he wouldn't respond. The children do sit carefully but 4 dogs and lots of children and a cream sofa...:eek:

Cherryfudge

That's quite horrendous lack of respect/thought on his behalf, he seems to be treating everything as his own! Might it be possible to box up his stuff and return it to him somehow, so he has fewer excuses to return to the house? I wonder if it might also be an idea to put something in writing about the sofa, saying you assume it was an exchange as he took the old one, and that you can't be held responsible for fair wear and tear as it was not a suitable choice for 'his' children and dogs (I'm assuming it was for the children's benefit more than yours?) (though also one of these vexatious things that exes can do just to make life difficult).

You could also add that you will in future require him to consult on anything he removes from the house as he had taken items the children required.


Hope you have a nicer day today and that the flat situation resolves soon.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge, that's a good idea about putting something in writing. He came round yesterday and I calmly explained that I objected to his binning things that don't belong to him. His response was less than helpful, quite terse and no apology at all.

I ended up with stomach churning and sickness on Friday night and felt utterly washed out yesterday so had to do a bit, then rest a bit, which was very frustrating but the only way I could get anything done.

I've updated the spending tracker for September. It is interesting watching the figures month by month. Food spending was £600 for September which is better than August which got up to £750. The school holiday effect is quite considerable! My fuel cost seems to be rising month on month though. I know this month is a little distorted because of taking DD1 to university last week, but the diesel cost is well over £300 a month.

I got 5 loads of washing done yesterday, all line dried which is great. The weather doesn't look as bright today so I'm glad as much was done yesterday. I made a batch of brownies, a batch of rock cakes and filled the freezer with mini muffins again. It really helps with packed lunches.

I might need to get a little flask for DS1 as he has outdoor field trips on a weekly basis so a hot drink as it gets colder will be essential. He is really enjoying his course :T:j and could tell me what he had learnt this week and even asked me if he could use the computer to do his homework...unheard of before! I applied for DS's travel bursary and this college does it differently to DD2's college. If your income is under 31k which mine is, the transport is fully paid rather than reduced. I applied online on Friday and yesterday DS got a letter to say he has this travel bursary so that's a weight off my mind.

I rang the bank and got the standing order set up for the legal work. I had intended to start it last month but the surprise bill used that pocket of money. The first one will go out on Monday. I've planned to make another £25 overpayment on the window loan. The last one made an impact on the balance which can only be good in terms of bringing the interest charge down. It will be slow but at least if I can keep this up, it's all going in the right direction.

crazy_cat_lady

I actually can't believe the nerve of your ex. :mad::mad::mad: What a control freak! How dare he come into your house, and go through your stuff. I would really consider speaking to your solicitor about this because I (personally) think he's being abusive through controlling you and something should be done about that. As you know, I had the police out to move my ex on when he wouldn't go. I have had to minimise contact with him now for both our sakes.
You must have the patience of a saint to put up with the way he keeps treating you, even though you're separated.