From debt to freedom...

Honeysucklelou2

We had a lovely afternoon out yesterday...DD1 wanted to visit an aquarium for research purposes for her course. The toddler has never been to one before so was beside himself with excitement. There was one tank that had turtles in it, which he sat watching for quite a while, keeping up a cheerful monologue for the entire time . I researched the aquarium for opening times and discovered that if I paid for tickets online we could save £3, so I did that.

I spent much of the morning on the phone trying to get through to DS's college to sort out transport. I tried 8 times, tried student services once and the finance office once. So frustrating! I sincerely hope the teaching is better than what I've seen, so far of the admin side.

I plucked up courage to return some legal papers to the solicitor's office. I've been procrastinating after some unpleasant threats from the ex, but decided delaying was keeping us in limbo and not allowing anything to be sorted out.

DD2 helped me to get to grips with the hedge in the rear garden. It's a biggish leylandi type hedge which has got quite tall. We trimmed it back and did as much of the top as we could reach. I'll have to give some thought about how to get to the unreachable parts.;)

Busy day ahead...

Working_Mum

Hey Honeysuckle,
I read you diary and the ex who threatens resonated with me.
I got divorced from a very angry guy a few years ago and he would threaten all sorts if he didn't get his own way on xyz......it became quite predictable.
My strategy was one of visualising him as Rumpelstiltskin and striving to be emotionally detached from the situation.
I never reacted to his messages or emails or solicitor letters immediately (unless the timescale was appropriate).I gave myself time to consider exactly what was being said and then decide on how to respond as was appropriate to me. Often the communication required little more than "thank you for letting me know"
I imagined my kids reading my responses to his letters Tec so always wrote and re-wrote them until they were polite, unemotional and professional.
I allowed myself a cry or a rant if something I had received was hurtful or untrue but I never ever shared that with him - I would simply responsible when I felt calm enough to do so. It is about wrestling control of the only thing I could control which is me!!
I got counselling for the impact of getting divorced (he had an affair and was not very nice in the last year of our marriage) and myself on a path of being ex-H free without any regrets or shame about how I had behaved towards him.
Have a great weekend
((Hugs))
WM xx

Honeysucklelou2

Hi Working Mum, thank you for your post. My ex does show all legal paperwork to the older children so I find myself second guessing every decision that I have to make. That is such a good suggestion to edit letters and also hold in mind that my children are likely to see them. A couple of people in RL who know of my situation have suggested attending a group that would help me fully get over aspects of the last few years but am hesitant at the moment because I have no time that is childfree and by the time bills have been paid, I'm not sure I can afford it yet, but I am keeping the idea of counselling in mind. Thanks for taking the time to post, really appreciated.

Honeysucklelou2

Finally got most things ready for the new week ahead. It's been a busy day...Homemade pasties for tea, which always take a bit of time but the children all enjoy them. I picked 3lb of apples from the tree in the garden and made apple amber with them. Delicious!!!

After doing lots of cleaning up after the puppies, I felt the need to get some sea air into my lungs, so we headed off to pick up DD1 from work a little early so that we could savour the beach. It is lovely at this time of year, not too cold and hardly anyone there on this particular beach. It wasn't a very long walk but very welcome.

On our return I made 2 batches of brownies as DD1 wants to take them in to share on her last day of work. Made a batch of vanilla muffins for packed lunches ( the mini chocolate ones are all frozen, ready for Wednesday and Thursday.)

At last I've been able to nail a NSD - hurray :T

Treadingonplaymobil

That sounds like an incredibly productive day, well done! I love going to the beach at this time of year too.

Honeysucklelou2

Monday proved to be a busy start to the week. I got home at 6.30, having had to visit Mr T's for milk and washing up liquid. It seems to have taken me all evening to get household things done, including collecting one DD from her school camp after feeling unwell, and getting cooking ingredients for DS2 who had forgotten about cooking tomorrow. Sadly not a NSD, but hoping for more this week.

Did manage to cook some soup, so lunch is sorted out for the next day or two.

Honeysucklelou2

Today was a NSD :T . That's 2 this month, hoping for more in the next week.

The soup was tasty today. I had run out of onions so chopped up some spring /salad onions to see if that worked...it did! Homemade tuna plait for dinner, which enabled me to use up some grated cheese that was fresh but needed using up.

MeandO

It's always lovely to use ingredients that need using up and thus saving waste and pennies!

Love the sound of the pasties (being from 'proper' pasty-country myself ). OH loves tuna too, so you have me wondering whether I can attempt a gluten free version with some GF pastry I have in the fridge.

I too had the 'stomach churning' symptoms when going through the separation from my ex H and do still get it occasionally at times of extreme anxiety. It feels like I have a washing machine in my tummy! I can't really offer any remedies for it unfortunately, I wish I could, but knowing that it's the effect of stress and anxiety forces me to try and manage those feelings a bit more effectively if I can and then it usually subsides.

Sending hugs HSL2 xx

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you MeandO, I guess we must come from the same neck of the woods. Can't beat a good pasty! The tuna plait is really easy. I chop 2 onions, add 2 tins of tuna and about 4oz of grated cheese, mix together then spread down the middle of a rolled out rectangle of pastry. I cut the edges of the pastry and fold over to make the plait. It's filling and warm, so a favourite here! Ah, just thought I do a double recipe to feed my lot so the usual recipe needs just 1 onion and 1 tin of tuna and 2 oz of cheese.


Today was not a NSD. I had a parents information evening at DD2's college, which was useful, but an extra 2 hours of driving, so needed some extra petrol. While there I popped into a rang3 store and picked up a few things for work. You can never have enough blue tak, it's like gold dust!! Thankfully it was all bits that cost £1, so not too much spent. I got some foil dishes so that I can make lots of lasagne portions for DD1, for university.

Honeysucklelou2

Had a very busy day at work yesterday, leaving at the absolute latest time possible before the nursery shut. I stopped off at Mr T's to pick up some meat and spent time making 9 mini lasagnes for DD1 to take for her freezer at uni. I made some red velvet cupcakes but unfortunately got so sidetracked doing other jobs that I burnt them :mad:. I was cross with myself!

Today has been spent driving DD1 to uni. We are staying overnight, which is just as well since the volume of traffic meant the journey took 2 hours longer than usual. Spent £90 on diesel and hoping to keep costs as low as possible.