From debt to freedom...

Pollie

Do you know when ex is due to be in the house. If so, would he use food you had put out for specifically feeding the family that day?

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Cherryfudge, Drawing a line and Pollie.

Pollie- that's a good idea, thank you. Perhaps the week's menu plan written out and stuck on an eye level cupboard might help.

Today has been a lovely day. I was so glad to see the sunshine . I was able to go for a drive with DS1. His test is looming soon...I'm hoping he passes it.

After lunch, I got outside for a walk with DD3, DS3 and the elderly lurcher. It was glorious, a real Autumnal day at its best. We did a figure of 8 walk across the fields and public footpaths. Although the flowers are almost gone from the hedgerows, I love the way the shapes of the leaves come into their own now. The holly leaves are starting to become more prominent in the hedge as the other trees lose their leaves. We saw some vibrrant green oak leaves on a tiny little sapling, no doubt germinated from an acorn, long since blown down. DS3 ran most of the way round so a good way of using up some of his energy:).

DS3 was keen to help me bake so we made a batch of vanilla muffins and a batch of salted caramel muffins. I've seen no sign of the vanilla ones since I took them out of the oven. I think the older DSs sampled quite a few. Happily today has been a NSD .

magicgirl

I love hearing about what you have baked. aside from the fact I love cake (or at least, I do when I am not on my meds) its always good to hear these ideas to try later.
Sounds like a really positive day - which you needed after all the recent drama. Hope you are able to bask in the effects of this for a while now.

crazy_cat_lady

You have had a really stressy month HSL - I hate when things go that way.
Your ex really does have a nerve sending you flowers like that - just when I think they can't get any worse then they do.
At least the car and hob are now sorted out, and it hasn't been frivolous spending - it's been stuff that you've needed to get. I know that's no comfort when you're stony broke.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you CCL & Magicgirl.

Yes it has been quite a month! I must confess I felt very thankful today that the car started without a problem. It's been a busy day at work...I got back and threw together some sort of chicken curry with rice dish. It was a bit of making it up as I was going along using whichever veg I had and the leftover chicken. Dessert was magic lemon pudding, very warming on a cold night. Another batch of vanilla muffins were made with strict instructions about not eating all 12 as they were for packed lunches tomorrow .

Spendless

Honeysucklelou2 wrote: »

She has also discovered that 3rd year students receive less in their student loans in the final year so is trying to stretch her money to make up the shortfall if that makes sense.

My understanding of this is it's because in every other year an amount is included to see them over the summer before they return in September. In the final year they don't receive this as they have finished their final exams so won't be returning and instead are job hunting.

I'd always sort of assummed that the reduced part of this year would come in their final term, the 3rd maintainace payment of the year. Is that not the case and the reduced amount is spread equally over the 3 maintainance payments? If it is just the final payment that's reduced won't your DD be home not long after her finals and not need the 3rd installment of the maintaince loan to last all that long? I'm guessing she'd also keep her holiday job going whilst she job hunts?

My suggestion with your DS1 and a financial contribution is to do what another poster suggested and if he's not giving you the money to deduct it from what you're paying out for him. I'd give what the call the 'alternative close' in sales. It's where you don't give a wriggle out clause. eg you don't say will you wash the pots? You say 'do you want to wash the pots or make the beds?' I'd ask DS which method he would prefer, if he opts for paying you, I'd say it needs setting up a payment into your bank. If he doesn't comply then you move to reducing the amount you pay.
Btw- he's done extremely well to get himself a job paying that amount, well done to him. I remember your frustrations with him when he was in his last year of school. Your older ones mingle in with my 2 in terms of ages/school years so make it easier to remember.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you Spendless - you're right, the reduction in student loan is due to it not covering the summer. Neither DD or I had realised this in advance. We did sit down at the beginning of September and work out a budget. After her Halls rent, she has less than £50 a week to live on but unfortunately the course that she is doing has hefty material costs which is where much of her money is going. The Mr T card continues to be a great idea because I can help her whenever I can.

It's been a busy day at work with another late evening. Now that the last birthday in the house has been celebrated I'm starting to think about Christmas. It will be a strange one this year without my grandmother but we were very conscious for the last few years how blessed we were to have her with us...we'll miss her.

Tomorrow , or rather today, is payday. I have to carve out time later on to finecomb the budget.

Honeysucklelou2

Payday was yesterday and today it's all gone out. My direct debits are set for the day after payday so I know mortgage, utilities, window loan payments and credit card payment has gone out. I'm thankful everything billwise is covered . Another £200 has gone to legal fees. I think they may well be ongoing for some time as it doesn't look like volunatary financial disclosure is going to happen anytime soon from the ex's side. Mine is already done and ready to go...

Day off today and I seem to have spent the first couple of hours checking and rechecking the budget and spending. I usually record everything via an app and in a notebook. Today I realised that the spending tracker designer also has another app for debt busting, so I've spent half an hour inputting figures. It shows the debts as a pie chart which is interesting and has several visual means of showing how much has been cleared and how much is left to go. Still a way to go but am monitoring carefully!

Must crack on with sorting the house out...

crazy_cat_lady

You and I could almost be twins. I am into month 19 of paying £150 a month to my solicitor and still no further forward with getitng the house sorted (that isn't meant to discourage you but I feel your pain). I have less than £30 disposable income this month - the month before Christmas (ugh) but all of my bills are at least paid.

Honeysucklelou2

Thank you CCL, I'm holding onto the fact the bills are paid and haven't thought too much about Christmas at the moment. It will be a lean one that's for sure! Here's hoping the legal bills have an end in sight soon.

It's a very wild Saturday here. I've got to get DD3 to an open day for a further ed college. This academic year is one of endings...DD1 has her finals, DD2 finishes further Ed and DD3 does GCSEs, so lots of investigating of next steps to be done. On the plus side DS3 will have been to so many by the time he gets there, we probably won't need a tour :rotfl:.

I'm going to pack up a flask in the hopes that I can make today a NSD. I did a grocery shop yesterday for just under £50. That did include dog food and toiletries and a small present for a birthday party that DS3 is going to. Back in 2017, I realised that I couldn't afford the supermarket toffee apples for bonfire night, so we had a go at making our own. Now we didn't stop to look, just bought some larger apples on offer and looking forward to making our own toffee apples again . I have some black treacle in the cupboard so will try making some sticky gingerbread later.