dunno why she said this

Pollycat

GTR_King wrote: »

Went on 2 lovely dates with a girl from tinder...

1st date drinks (I paid & bought her flowers she loved them)
2nd date meal (I paid for it)
3rd date was meant to be Thursday

Had loads in common 12/13 things

First spoke last week of November etc

Been speaking each day since then but last 3-4 days the she has been taking ages to reply...

She then texted me today saying this...

Hi I have something to tell u, do not want to lead u on any further, we have had two lovely dates but i just see as a friend, do not want u to think it can be anything more, I do not want to upset because u are lovely and nice, hopefully u can find someone who is compatible with u, we can meet up if u want as friends because u are a nice guy, sorry if I have upset u not my intention at all, did not want to upset u at Xmas x

I tried my best to be my self and keep her interested

She just probably didn't fancy me o well

I think you've answered your own question.

Better that she is honest at the start instead of stringing you along.

166million

Disagree to some extent with the 'sweet' thing. My husband is a cutie pie sweet pea. Admittedly that's not the first thing I noticed

Lily-Rose_3

166million wrote: »

Disagree to some extent with the 'sweet' thing. My husband is a cutie pie sweet pea. Admittedly that's not the first thing I noticed

That's fair enough, but in general if a girl thinks a guy is 'sweet,' it's not usually a sign she has the hots for him!

GTR_King

Ok thx for the advice, not every girl I date will work out....

I am gonna move on & will expect some rejections along the way

Primrose

Chemistry is definitely the first key trigger I think when opposite sexes first meet and there is no defining whether this will be there or not because there is no magic formula. It could be there for one side of the couple and not the other and it's really hopeless trying to put it there when it doesn't exist. She sounds very inexperienced in her relationships. Just tell yourself that this could probably have caused all kinds of problems further down the line, so although you really liked her maybe it has worked out for the best.

GTR_King

Primrose thanks for the advice...

I think it was for the best anyway

NWOIHTS

GTR_King wrote: »

Went on 2 lovely dates with a girl from tinder...

1st date drinks (I paid & bought her flowers she loved them)
2nd date meal (I paid for it)
3rd date was meant to be Thursday

Had loads in common 12/13 things

First spoke last week of November etc

Been speaking each day since then but last 3-4 days the she has been taking ages to reply...

She then texted me today saying this...

Hi I have something to tell u, do not want to lead u on any further, we have had two lovely dates but i just see as a friend, do not want u to think it can be anything more, I do not want to upset because u are lovely and nice, hopefully u can find someone who is compatible with u, we can meet up if u want as friends because u are a nice guy, sorry if I have upset u not my intention at all, did not want to upset u at Xmas x

I tried my best to be my self and keep her interested

She just probably didn't fancy me o well

Just say thanks for being upfront but you'd rather cut ties and not be friends as you wanted to date. Wish her well for the future. And do not remain friends, especially if that is not what you wanted as that is her way of being nice and letting you down gentle and not feeling guilty for rejecting you, don't give the satisfaction.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

she's maybe read this thread about the 'third date', and took fright.

ska_lover

GTR can I join in please

You sound an amazing guy, like AMAZING

Plse don't take this the wrong way, but you know what is off-putting? Someone who is trying too hard. And you did my friend. Trying to hard has a hint of 'desperation' and to women that is like spraying yourself in cats p8ss before going out the door, just off putting. No one wants someone who is desperate. Its too easy. I have actually walked - well ran- out on a date before for reeking of desperation.

Every time you act like this you will get the door closed in your face. Every god damn time.I cannot emphasise how off putting this is but The secret to never getting laid again is to try too hard / reek of desperation

Girls love flowers, but on the first date is way OTT in my humble opinion. For a woman - Its a display of affection that you don't even know if you want yet.

If a girl is not offering to pay for some of the drinks on a first or second date - that is saying something without speaking too.

I am not saying don't do these nice things, but just don't be ''too nice'' as you get called things like ''sweet''. And sweet means you are relegated to friend zone

No one ever calls a hot man, sweet. No one. Channing Tatum is not sweet. S*x on legs yes, but not sweet.

To summarise, I think you are TOO NICE, and it is true that nice guys finish last.

Toughen up. Don't (appear to) be too keen. Keep things casual. Don't turn up with flowers first date, wait till 3rd or 4th date to see if you like each other before flowers or gifts. Don't assume you will be paying for everything - why should you?

Like I say you sound great, and I am just giving you my opinion and hope to not have caused offence in anyway

GTR_King

SKA Lover you cause no offence....

Thanks for the Advice