I've lost my partner, everything, what do i do now?

indiepanda

Amber_Sunshine wrote: »

There's also Widowed & Young https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/.

Hi Dora, so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to have lost someone who you've spent all your adult life with and with a child to support too.

A friend of mine lost her partner to cancer a few years ago and she has found Widowed & Young really helpful - and they don't limit themselves to people who were married despite the name, she and her boyfriend weren't married.

For the food, there are some good books on cooking on a really low budget which might help stretch what money you are getting. Jack Monroe wrote a book called "A girl called Jack" which was a recipe book covering all the cheap things she cooked as a single mum on benefits and her blog has lots of recipes on though I don't think she is adding new ones at the moment - think she's been ill. Anyway, the blog is at https://cookingonabootstrap.com/

hollydays

I just wanted to say-take one day at a time and-Christmas is only one day.

dprovan

I am so sorry for you and your sons loss. I cant imagine how difficult things are for you and your boy. You sound like a wonderful Mother and your boy sounds kinds too. Please don't even think about reaching out and asking for help wherever it might be available school, churches, food banks, social services, charity shops. As for Christmas I cant imagine how hard that is, but as others have said remember its one day and will pass- might be best trying to treat it as though its just another day- get away from the media gush of everyone enjoying themselves. Christmas is so hard for so many people. Finally, when you need to talk come on here at anytime as we all know how reassuring it can be to be heard.

Take care of yourself and that special lad..:A

piglet25

I am so sorry for you and your son. I know that GP's can give forms for the foodbank, and I know people who have used them and they get some really nice bits and bobs so please don't be embarrassed to go, there is no shame in needing to eat.
Your friends might not know what to say, or how much you need their help as they may not have come across this situation before, although they should be trying a little harder. If you try all the places recommended to you on this post then you should at least get a bit of help which may take some of the pressure off. Your son sounds like he needs a bit of help too, maybe counselling for you both would be good when you feel ready.
Even though Christmas is so commercial now, it really is about being with loved ones and this year will be hard but if you and your lad stick together you will get through it, sending you hugs xx

flora48

I am sorry to hear of your loss. my heart goes out to you.

I do understand your pain having lost my husband. The pain is a physical pain, right in the heart. I thought I was imagining this till I read of the medical explanation, an increase in some chemical within the body.

Many people have given you good advice, and I hope you find an improvement in your financial situation very soon.

As to the friends, I found they fell into 3 categories, those that cross the street, these people just cannot cope with your situation. Those that try to "mother" , this fills their own need rather than yours and finally your true friends, those that rally round and are there through thick and thin.

Your boy sounds a remarkable boy, thoughtful and kind. I do hope you can find a way through this together.

Now I know you will not want to hear this, and you will have heard it so many times yet you still can't believe it, but trust me, it does get better.

Keep on keeping on. Xxxxx

Amanda65

Firstly I am so sorry for yours and your sons loss.

What type of work did your partner do /what industry did he work in? There are hundreds of occupational benevolent funds that help people based on their (or their partners) work history. If you give me an idea of what he did I will see if I can come up with any charities that might be able to help.

gerardmcleod

I can completely understand your feeling but don't leave hope for a better future is all I would suggest. Your loss cannot be fulfilled back, but your child needs help as he is very small to handle this bad time himself. For your children you should find some suitable work. There are many people who lost their families and everything in a natural disaster, but are surviving with the hope of a better tomorrow. But you have your child provide him the best you can, it would be difficult but nothing is impossible, you can also take help from child welfare organizations get more information about such organizations online and live happy.