Too big to have baby?

Starlight123

in my late 30s and around size 16 and just under 5ft. Medically I'm obese(!) which isn't great and I fear it's holding me back for me and OH to start family as I fear being pregnant now I would really struggle. I know simple answer is to lose weight only it's not that easy and my confidence has hit low again because I'm not in control of situation. I see so many threads on pregnancy but I wondered on size of mums to be as I wonder if I'm being too harsh on myself. I have high blood pressure and worry too about that leading to preclampsia. I did lose weight before. It struggling plus if I'm honest I'm feeling so miserable at minute about this all as I really want a child and know time is running out. A friend of mine is expecting, I'm happy for her but I then feel more pressure.

Andrew_Ryan_89

What exactly are you looking to get from here? Of course if you're overweight you can conceive. If you think you'll physically struggle because of your weight then start eating healthy and go to the gym.

BrassicWoman

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

What exactly are you looking to get from here? Of course if you're overweight you can conceive. If you think you'll physically struggle because of your weight then start eating healthy and go to the gym.

More helpfully (because self righteous skinnies always think it is that easy, and if it was we'd all be slender), why not ask the doctor for an opinion and to see a nutritionist for some practical help?

peachyprice

What is your main concern? Conceiving, carrying a baby, the amount of weight you'll put on? You say as size 16, but how much do you actually weight, dress size isn't really an indication of fatness. What is your overall health like. You can be 'size 16' but be very active and otherwise healthy or you could be a 'size 16' couch potato with other health problems. Is your blood pressure weight related?

You wont know whether you can conceive until you try, and you don't have to 'eat for two' while preggers and add on 3-4 stone, it's possible to have a healthy pregnancy and just put on the baby weight plus a bit extra.

Perhaps a visit to the GP or nurse would be a good idea to look at your overall health, that might put your weight in to perspective.

shopaholicz

Hi Starlight123,

Not politically correct these days I know, but I'm overweight now, was overweight when I had both my children and have been overweight since childhood. I didn't put on any weight with either of my pregnancies, I didn't try to lose any or put any on it just happened that way.


I think more important questions when trying to conceive are:-

1. are you happy as a person and a couple
2. can you afford the child right through to Uni
3. Does your partner agree and does he also want a child
4. Is your relationship stable, there is a lot of unseen stresses in child rearing


I know it's awful watching someone else's baby if you're craving your own, so if you do decide to go ahead, good luck.

fierystormcloud

Starlight123 wrote: »

in my late 30s and around size 16 and just under 5ft. Medically I'm obese(!) which isn't great and I fear it's holding me back for me and OH to start family as I fear being pregnant now I would really struggle. I know simple answer is to lose weight only it's not that easy and my confidence has hit low again because I'm not in control of situation. I see so many threads on pregnancy but I wondered on size of mums to be as I wonder if I'm being too harsh on myself. I have high blood pressure and worry too about that leading to preclampsia. I did lose weight before. It struggling plus if I'm honest I'm feeling so miserable at minute about this all as I really want a child and know time is running out. A friend of mine is expecting, I'm happy for her but I then feel more pressure.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/overweight-pregnant.aspx

Yeah, it would be better if you lost weight. Being obese can lead to problems conceiving, and it can cause complications with the pregnancy. Also, your age is going against you a bit, (no offence! ) so that combined with your weight may make you struggle to conceive.

If you lost a stone and a half it would help.

Good luck!

shell_girl

I was size 16, 5 foot 4 age 30 for my first pregnancy. It was a tough pregnancy in many ways as I wasn't physically active before conceiving or during the pregnancy.

Health wise, I gained a bit too much weight and developed hypothyroidism.

Today is my due date with my second child, and incidentally my 35th birthday. I was a size 18 when I conceived, but have only put on around 6 kilos. I have been much more active this pregnancy, walking and running around after my first child! I've felt much better, no swollen ankles etc. With my first by 38 weeks I felt and looked incredibly unwell.

Technically, although I am bigger this pregnancy, my lifestyle is much healthier and that has made it easier. My advice would be to get active regardless of weight loss goals, pregnancy in your mid to late 30s is physically no picnic so any physical activity you can do will help.

Starlight123

Hi, thanks for your replies. Most my life I've been overweight, right now around 13st so I checked my bmi and it's through roof. I have been bigger and like many have gone up and down. I did lose 2 stone after doing interval training but the saddlebags weee still sure if there and rather than continue battling against bulge I've gone into a downer? Try to pick myself up but I think I'm emotional eater. i see many pregnant ladies and all are slim and so I think perhaps better I get healthy. I'm not couch potato, am slightly active. financially ok too. Partner got a book the other day on fatherhood as we both want that just timing and mindset right now not there and so I feel frustrated as not happy with way I look. I my own worst enemy

suki1964

This will sound harsh, it's not personal, so please don't take it so


What do you want most ? The bar of chocolate or a baby ?


having something that's so precious to focus on may help spur you on to get healthier


Like I say, I really don't mean that to be rude, when I was sliming I had to ask myself what I wanted more, chocolate or to be a size 10. Sometimes the chocolate won, but the want to be slim was the greater want

Starlight123

Lol hi suki, that's not harsh and I've tried that method but.not always successful but shall keep trying

suki1964

Starlight123 wrote: »

Lol hi suki, that's not harsh and I've tried that method but.not always successful but shall keep trying

Perhaps you might be able to get some counselling on why you comfort eat and learn better coping skills?

Your GP might be able to help, or you may need to go private but there's a load of charities who offer counselling on a sliding scale of payments so it's not unattainable

Your weight isn't ideal for pregnancy, esp as you have hypertension, but it's not a total no no. My sister was much heavier for her second baby, she was fine. she did plan to carry during the winter months mind

Do go talk to your GP or practice nurse. Even if you can't get the weight off, eating better and exercising more to get yourself fitter will go a long way in making a pregnancy easier