Thrifty friend dines for free while I pay

Hermia

onlyroz wrote: »

Hmmm, tricky one. Would the coupon have allowed him to go on his own and get a free meal? Or did it say "one free meal when accompanied by another paying adult"? If it was the former case then I can see his point - he was entitled to a free meal and so why should he pay for half of yours? On the other hand if the meal was only free because you went as a pair then the bill should absolutely have been split in two.

I think even if it was not dependent on the other person he should not have expected the OP to drive all that way just so he could have his freebie. I would never choose a restaurant so far from a friend unless we could both get a discount that makes up for the time and petrol used.

FBaby

You choose the place but let me know so I can arrange my vouchers, too <--he put the smiley face in

I too would have fun! I would tell him a place, and then when he comes said I changed my mind as I couldn't get the coupon for that place, so instead went for another one where I could but was sure he didn't mind!

I actually could be friend with someone like this as long as they could take it with a sense of humour. No-one is perfect and some people, you just have to take them for what's good and ignore the rest. They don't have to be close friends, just someone who entertains you once in a while.

If he laughed about it and responded with a 'ok, touche', then I would move on and say that in the future, it would probably be better to communicate in advance so we can both benefit from the vouchers. If however he started to get all upset and victimised, that would be a step too much and I would leave it there. No time for people who 'play it but can't take it'.

Pollycat

FBaby wrote: »

I too would have fun! I would tell him a place, and then when he comes said I changed my mind as I couldn't get the coupon for that place, so instead went for another one where I could but was sure he didn't mind!

I actually could be friend with someone like this as long as they could take it with a sense of humour. No-one is perfect and some people, you just have to take them for what's good and ignore the rest. They don't have to be close friends, just someone who entertains you once in a while.

If he laughed about it and responded with a 'ok, touche', then I would move on and say that in the future, it would probably be better to communicate in advance so we can both benefit from the vouchers. If however he started to get all upset and victimised, that would be a step too much and I would leave it there. No time for people who 'play it but can't take it'.

But it's clearly upset the OP otherwise she wouldn't have posted on a public forum.

I'm straight with my friends, I don't take the p**s or take advantage of them and I expect them to treat me in the same way.

I would never use a voucher to get a free meal and expect a friend to pay full price for his/hers.
And I would expect them to do the same with me.

JIL

I was given a voucher for Christmas, I think it was £25. Anyway we went out with another couple. I did not ask that the £25 be deducted from my husband and my share, it got deducted from the total and then we split the bill. It did not cross my mind to do it any other way. If we are going out, spending an enjoyable evening together, the last thing on my mind is a few pounds.
Your friend was totally out of order and I am afraid i would have told him there and then. I can't think of any of my friends who would think like that.

What would have happened if you both had the voucher? Neither of you could have used it. Or he could have had two meals to get the value.

FBaby

But it's clearly upset the OP otherwise she wouldn't have posted on a public forum.

Surely if OP was that upset, she wouldn't have made the effort to contact him and suggested to get together again?

I totally agree about your comments would friends, but I think this is where the issue is, there are 'friends' and 'friends', ie. those you trust completely and those who are just people you enjoy their company for a reason or another, but if they were to move away next week, it wouldn't bother you.

I would never act like this friend did, but then I just see it as extremely bad manner. I went on a date with such a person and I was quite shocked, but I took it with humour. It meant that I knew I would never start a relationship with him, but we did meet a few times as I did enjoy his conversations and then we just stop contacting each other. I wouldn't have referred to him as a friend though.

Pollycat

FBaby wrote: »

Surely if OP was that upset, she wouldn't have made the effort to contact him and suggested to get together again?

I totally agree about your comments would friends, but I think this is where the issue is, there are 'friends' and 'friends', ie. those you trust completely and those who are just people you enjoy their company for a reason or another, but if they were to move away next week, it wouldn't bother you.

I would never act like this friend did, but then I just see it as extremely bad manner. I went on a date with such a person and I was quite shocked, but I took it with humour. It meant that I knew I would never start a relationship with him, but we did meet a few times as I did enjoy his conversations and then we just stop contacting each other. I wouldn't have referred to him as a friend though.

I'd refer to them as 'friends' and 'aquaintances'.

Personally, I'd never drive 28 miles to have a meal with an 'aquaintance'.
But then again, I'm happy with the 'friends' I've got.

breaking_free

Well I now have another update. My friend's next free evening is a Friday some weeks from now. I pointed out that Fridays are usually excluded from using discount coupons. Here's his reply.

I completely forgot about discounts not being available on Fridays. However there are exceptions. Toby Carvery has good prices also on Fridays. And I have some vouchers covering the whole table party

Let's put that together with his previous reply.

You choose the place but let me know so I can arrange my vouchers, too

It doesn't look like he's expecting me to tit for tat him does it.

Pollycat

breaking_free wrote: »

It doesn't look like he's expecting me to tit for tat him does it.

No it doesn't.
And it doesn't look like he's going to let you choose the venue either - unless it suits him & his wallet.

Andrew_Ryan_89

That's so sneaky. If you're going out to eat, whether it be with one person or a group, you are all spending more money than you would have it you just stayed a home. That's why when I go out (assuming nobody has spent excessively on drinks) I just split the bill evenly regardless of what individuals meals cost

FBaby

That's the thing I consider another group that falls between acquaintances and friends. Acquaintances are people I know little about (ie people in my yoga classes who I say hello too and have small chats with, 'friends' are those who I know own well enough to have some things in common, these are the friends I go out with usually and will discuss specific things, ie parents of my kids friends I became friendly with, and they're are my real friends, those who know to call me if they need anything and vice versa and who know some intimate details about me (my past for instance).