Feeling my partner and his family have really inconsiderate

determined_new_ms

This weekend at the last minute we agreed to let my partners cousin and gf stay at ours as there was a family party. Having them stay has been a massive ball ache! We have a 2 bed hse and a toddler so have had to transfer her bed into our room and the hse isn't ours.

We went to the party last night but I have hurt my back and am in a lot of pain so I decided to come home early. They all came home at nearly 2 am and woke me up and continued the party. Which meant I laid in bed in pain being kept awake by them. Until at 3 I sent a text to my partner asking them to either go to bed or find somewhere else to hang out.

Today I am so p1ssed off! Yesterday we were sneaking around the hse until 12 because they were asleep and at that point I said to my partner enough was enough and mid day was enough time and they should make some allowances they came to stay with a family they have to have some consideration as well. Now I feel that we have had to make massive allowances but apparently I do not get the same consideration in my own home when I'm in pain and it's the middle of the night.

They are here until Tuesday and I'm considering going and staying somewhere else

FBaby

Mmmm, you're in pain, how about telling them all (partner incl) to go and find somewhere else to go. They were rude, they are even ruder that they don't feel it is appropriate to apologise and make it up to you.

ognum

determined_new_ms wrote: »

This weekend at the last minute we agreed to let my partners cousin and gf stay at ours as there was a family party. Having them stay has been a massive ball ache! We have a 2 bed hse and a toddler so have had to transfer her bed into our room and the hse isn't ours.

We went to the party last night but I have hurt my back and am in a lot of pain so I decided to come home early. They all came home at nearly 2 am and woke me up and continued the party. Which meant I laid in bed in pain being kept awake by them. Until at 3 I sent a text to my partner asking them to either go to bed or find somewhere else to hang out.

Today I am so p1ssed off! Yesterday we were sneaking around the hse until 12 because they were asleep and at that point I said to my partner enough was enough and mid day was enough time and they should make some allowances they came to stay with a family they have to have some consideration as well. Now I feel that we have had to make massive allowances but apparently I do not get the same consideration in my own home when I'm in pain and it's the middle of the night.

They are here until Tuesday and I'm considering going and staying somewhere else

Where did this start from? I have a feeling this is not a new issue, you are in pain and feeling a little intolerant they are being rude. Perhaps if you felt well you would find the right words for them to understand how you feel.

I understand how you feel but I wonder if it is worth a big scene when they go on Tuesday anyway?

TBagpuss

OK, it was thoughtless of them to be noisy at 2 a.m. - as they'd been to a party it may well be that drinking played a part in that. Did you go down and ask them to keep the noise down?

Other than that, I'm not sure what they have done?
You could have asked them to help move the bed, and I'm not sure why you felt you had to sneak around until mid day, I think normally as guests people expect to fit in with their hosts, so while it would be nice to keep this noise down in the early morning, I don't think you necessarily have to keep things silent until they chose to get up.

As this is your partner's family, I also think you would be fine to ask them to help out a little if need be, especially if you are hurt at present.

I hope you feel better soon.

Primrose

Are your guests of a younger generation? They sound very ill mannered and inconsiderate. I'd just take a deep breath and say to them ". Look, we accommodated you at short notice but your habits really don't seem to fit into a domestic routine with a small toddler and we we think you'd be happier moving out snd stayng in a hotel where you can do your own thing. Here are the phone numbers of a couple you can try". And move your toddlers bed back i to her own room to make the point !

Why on earth should you be forced to move out of your own home?

meer53

It's life, not everyone is as considerate as you expect them to be, Tuesday will soon be here, don't invite them again.

peachyprice

Why did you need to move your child's bed? When we lived in a 2 bed any visitors slept downstairs on the sofa/airbed. Why were you sneaking around your own home until mid-day, if you and your child were awake just carry on as normal, if you were sneaking around being quiet how were they supposed to know you were up and about?

Why did you agree letting them stay until Tuesday for one party?

Seems to me you've made a bit of a drama about them staying in the first place and they have taken advantage of your hospitality, 6 of one 1/2 dozen of the other.

Timpu

meer53 wrote: »

It's life, not everyone is as considerate as you expect them to be, Tuesday will soon be here, don't invite them again.

Meer53 beat me to it. DH's as a friend who has proven a poor house guest over a long weekend, it's therefore always inconvenient for them to stay over now .

What's the saying about 'second time, fool me'? (Someone please step in and put me out of my misery.)

poppycracker

'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me'

Pollycat

Was it just you or you & your partner who came home early?
If your 'guests' came back to your house & partied on, I'd be annoyed with them

If they & my OH came back & partied on, I'd be furious with him

If the party was on Saturday ehy do they need to stay until Tuesday?

KiKi

Yes, it was inconsiderate to party until 0300, but your partner was with them and also partying, so they presumably felt it was okay as he was partying in his own house and giving them permission to do so. It's entirely possible that he said to them "she won't hear a thing" and they have no idea.

As for creeping around until midday - that was your choice to be quiet until they were awake. They didn't force that on you.

I totally understand why you're annoyed - I would be, too. But really, what have they done wrong other than been a bit thoughtless? As you texted your partner to tell him to shut up or go elsewhere, they didn't see how annoyed you were so, again, it's possible they have no idea you're upset or cross or angry. In addition you knew that was party night, so I'm not sure why you think this might be repeated - and if you don't think it'll be repeated then what's the point in moving out for two days?!

I think the fact that you're in pain is making it a lot worse - but moving out is a bit drama llama!

KiKi