Sudden personality change

FBaby

Don't do self-diagnosis on google. Psychiatrists spend over 6 years to train to be able to do and still don't always get it right.

There are two options: She is evolving for whatever reason and if that is the case, you becoming paranoid and watching and analysing every little move is going to drive her mad and that's what will break your relationship.

Or (and frankly, even though you don't believe it, it is the most likely explanation), there is someone else, even if just at fantasy stage, and if there is, until you can have evidence of it, there isn't much you can do. If I were you, I would be biting my time and investigate subtly. Either you will find that everything she has told you is true...or not.

duchy

Whilst you were away did she get out more with friends and realize that you weren't doing enough independently and had got very insular as a couple. You are both awfully young to be in a rut .
Do you do things together that are fun, spontaneous and even just plain silly or have you both got a bit complacent and boring and she's trying to change things ?

imho

Toto wrote: »

Maybe she's having a fling with the friend?

That's exactly what I thought.

Claire_A87

I'm actually embarrassed for people responding on this thread laughing about how the OP's wife is having an affair. Have some empathy !!!!!!, this is someone's life. (Edited to add that not everyone suggesting an affair is being a tactless twump)

I agree with pogofish's first paragraph. For whatever reason, she's detaching herself from you. It could be an affair, or it could be that the time apart left her feeling that she doesn't want to mope and she's realised she's not happy? She's at an age where making big changes still isn't a massive deal, and she might just want to readjust.

Not to worry you OP, but I did something very similar when I was 20 with my then partner. We lived together but I wasn't happy, so started detaching myself from him in the months leading up to me breaking up with him. I started exercising more, seeing my friends more & became much less affectionate. By the time we split, I wasn't overly upset because I'd already mentally separated from him. It wasn't premeditated, but it definitely helped my mental state by going through the process. Totally unfair on him of course, I should have sat down and been straight with him when I knew I wasn't happy.

You need to sit her down and let her know how you feel.

Lily-Rose_3

Claire_A87 wrote: »

I'm actually embarrassed for people responding on this thread laughing about how the OP's wife is having an affair. Have some empathy !!!!!!, this is someone's life. (Edited to add that not everyone suggesting an affair is being a tactless twump)

I agree with pogofish's first paragraph. For whatever reason, she's detaching herself from you. It could be an affair, or it could be that the time apart left her feeling that she doesn't want to mope and she's realised she's not happy? She's at an age where making big changes still isn't a massive deal, and she might just want to readjust.

Not to worry you OP, but I did something very similar when I was 20 with my then partner. We lived together but I wasn't happy, so started detaching myself from him in the months leading up to me breaking up with him. I started exercising more, seeing my friends more & became much less affectionate. By the time we split, I wasn't overly upset because I'd already mentally separated from him. It wasn't premeditated, but it definitely helped my mental state by going through the process. Totally unfair on him of course, I should have sat down and been straight with him when I knew I wasn't happy.

You need to sit her down and let her know how you feel.

To be fair, all the signs of an affair are there. People are just saying what they see.

Claire_A87

It's not the suggestion of an affair, that's fair enough and I've even suggested it as a reason myself. No need for some of the posts making a joke out of it though. I'm certainly not PC and/or sensitive to general chatter, but the OP is obviously worried about the future of his relationship; there's just no need.

paddy's_mum

Claire_A87 wrote: »

twump)[/COLOR]

What a fabulously offensive inoffensive word!

Never heard that one before but it's definitely going into my personal vocabulary from now on.

The mind boggles about what you can do with it:-

She twumped out of the office.
His behaviour is a bit on the twumpish side.
Don't come running to me for sympathy when you twump down!

Thanks, Claire :rotfl:

Claire_A87

paddy's_mum wrote: »

What a fabulously offensive inoffensive word!

Never heard that one before but it's definitely going into my personal vocabulary from now on.

The mind boggles about what you can do with it:-

She twumped out of the office.
His behaviour is a bit on the twumpish side.
Don't come running to me for sympathy when you twump down!

Thanks, Claire :rotfl:

You're very welcome. You could also use it relating to alcohol -

"after several lager shandies, she was positively twumped"


Claire_A87: Bringing you creative alternatives to internet censorship since 3 hours ago.

tea_lover

The lot of you can go twump yourselves

DomRavioli

determined_new_ms wrote: »

Forgive me as I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to post before off to watch WD! You say your so has attachment issues - does she have bpd or bpd traits? Common for there to be this shift with someone with attachment disorder , it's to do with the fear of rejection and fear of engulfment.

Give it time

Please, don't drag BPD into it. he'd know if she had a PD. Everyone would know.

And attachment disorder is a completely seperate diagnosis. What a see you next tuesday.