I'm truly pathetic and just need to off load

Northern78

Thanks rach_k. My son is due to go soon but I have to arrange it around when my husband is home (he's in the armed forces).

What you're all saying is complete right and exactly what I would be saying if I was the other side.of the fence. I just can get my head to see that.

You know what, it's not even a fear of pain, I can cope with pain. I can't cope with people judging me a presuming something. They'll think i"ve never looked after my teeth or visited a dentist in my life. They'll probably think my kids are street urchins that I don't really care for when they couldn't be further from the truth. I want to get back to how I used to be. Going every 6 months, still having the underlying fear that i think most people have but just getting on with it.

sooty&sweep

Hi

There are some brilliant dentists out there & so you shouldn't let one bad experience stop you accessing the support you need.

I'm sure you know that logically but you need to find a way to help keep you calm going to the dentists. I don't know much about it but have you thought about something like hypnotherapy ?

Jen xxx

Northern78

Thank you everyone for all your advice and kind words. You'be made me think I might not be so much of a 'freak' as I thought I was.

I don't think I can speak to a dentist yet but I reckon tomorrow when the kids are busy I might find time to drop one am email, explain my situation and take it from there.

Thank you again, I already feel like some of the weight has been lifted. X

p00hsticks

Northern78, you have my understanding and support. It sounds like you've got a really bad phobia, worse than mine was - and I thought I was bad!

A few years back I eventually plucked up courage to go to the dentist after decades of avoidance. Most of my teeth were cracked or broken, and the final straw was when one of my front teeth just fell out, and I knew I had to do something. I googled to find a local dentist who dealt with nervous patients. I was in tears when I phoned to make an appointment and the receptionist could tell how difficult I was finding it. When I went the first time the dentist just chatted with me until I eventually felt comfortable enough just to sit in 'the chair' and let him have a look in my mouth.

I needed a lot of work done - a number of extractions, a partial denture and some fillings. It took quite a few sessions and although I was a quivering wreck and in tears each time to start with, I gradually got more and more comfortable. I don't think anyone ever enjoys going to the dentist, but I'm now at a stage where I don't have an issue and go for regular check ups.

I hope you manage to get something sorted for yourself - and as others say, please make sure that your children are comfortable going to the dentist themselves from an early age, even if it means getting someone else to take them while you address your own fears/

Northern78

Thank you p00hsticks. One thing I can promise is that my children will not inherate my fear. I make sure they clean their teeth morning and night and explain to them that dentits are nice people that just want to look after us. Do you think if I say it enough i'll believe it myself ��

Kynthia

It's not pathetic, you have a genuine phobia and they are awful, irrational and terrifying. It sounds like perhaps you are severe enough to need a dentist that specialises in phobic patients rather than just nervous ones. Previous posters have mentioned about ones where you don't even get treatment for the first few visits, or perhaps ones that will knock you out for treatments that will be quite invasive and difficult for you to get though. I hope you find a solution.

pollypenny

You're far from pathetic after your horrible experience. You were very unlucky eith an unprofessional guy.

There are three lovely dentists who post on the Health board. I'm sure one of them would advise you about strategies.

All the dentists in my practice are great - very chatty and good at distracting me. I went to an endodontist for root canal treatment last year, too. Brilliant. Radio 2 playing and chatting: I didn't feel a thing.

stormbreaker

Sorry, not read through all the responses but I'd look for recommendations in the area who are still taking patients on.

Because your fear is so deep rooted, before contacting the dentist enlist the help of a friend to chum you every other day to the dentists door. Standing outside and consider going in. No pressure. Move to going in and speaking with the staff. Until you have built up the confidence. Ask if you can visit the surgery without treatment initially, then move to being shown a surgery and meeting the dentist. Baby steps. Once that fear is over come many dentists offer sedation.
Might be worthwhile finding out if they offer sedation before choosing the dentist.
Good luck

fabforty

I had a similar fear mid 20s, and my doctor referred me to the hospital dentists sedation unit (I'm in London and it was at a large central hospital). I was sedated before treatment - I needed an escort to take me to and from appointments. As they specialised in treating nervous patients, I was never made to feel silly and after three years was able to go to a 'normal' dentist again. I'm not sure where you are based but it might be worth checking your local health authority to see if they offer a similar service.

rach_k

Northern78 wrote: »

You know what, it's not even a fear of pain, I can cope with pain. I can't cope with people judging me a presuming something. They'll think i"ve never looked after my teeth or visited a dentist in my life. They'll probably think my kids are street urchins that I don't really care for when they couldn't be further from the truth.

I know it's hard to believe when you're afraid, but I don't think they will judge you at all. Tell them your story (they do talk to you first!) and the only people they will be judging are the people who were so horrible to you and caused all this in the first place. If you went in and said you were petrified or embarrassed, that's their job to fix it, not something you need to feel bad about. It's kind of like when you first buy tampons or condoms and you feel like the person on the till will be laughing at you when actually they barely notice!