EH - Essex > Hebrides...the next step of the adventure?

EssexHebridean

LOVING the stories! 😂 I’m a firm believer in the fact that it is indeed coming to every single one of us one day or another, and there is little point in being gloomy about the fact, or refusing to even hear of death being mentioned as some do. 

In completely different news - I’ve got freezer two emptied, turned off, and it is now defrosting! 😁 Getting to anything in freezer one could be interesting for a few days, mind… 😬

CRANKY40

My late husband also wanted a viking funeral. I pointed out that our local river is a shipping channel so we'd never get permission and the co owner of his boat probably wouldn't take kindly to the setting fire to it. When he died unexpectedly I had him cremated as it was the closest I could get. His ashes are scattered next to the river. My dad's ashes went in the river but I did at least know to check the wind direction. 

I'm laughing at the ice cream tub @Scottiedog_3. Dad's ashes came from London in the official container but in a Morrisons shopping bag which ended up in my car. I use that Morrisons bag a lot. My dad was very MSE and would totally approve.

savingholmes

Wow wow wow GAP Scottie and Cranky - you all made me laugh. Thank you. CRANKY40 said:

I'm laughing at the ice cream tub @Scottiedog_3. Dad's ashes came from London in the official container but in a Morrisons shopping bag which ended up in my car. I use that Morrisons bag a lot. My dad was very MSE and would totally approve.

greenbee

girlatplay said:

To put a more amusing slant on things, bf said that when it's his time to go he wants to be cremated and half of his ashes scattered in the park next to where he grew up, as he played there for the whole of his childhood.  The other half he wants us to take to the Maldives and he wants to be out on a sun lounger with a cocktail then be scattered in the sea.  I have told him that the park is no problem, I know exactly where he wants to be.  We both grew up within walking distance.  The Maldives, on the other hand, is unlikely to happen.  Our local beach is within walking distance from where I live at the moment.  I said we'll put him on a li-lo and push him into the North Sea.  It's the sea, it's all the same.  He's not impressed and says he'll come back to haunt us if we do that.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with that story.

My dad wanted his ashes to be scattered at a very specific point out at sea, about 8 nautical miles from the harbour where he kept his boat. A friend who is a local fisherman offered to take us, but the weather didn’t cooperate for the whole week, so we took him to a cove where he used to swim as a boy and told him to find his own way out to sea. We were careful with the wind (having had experience with other relatives) but a few bits stuck to the hull of the boat. His friend said ‘he’s been fishing with me plenty of times, it’ll be nice to have his company’.  I think my dad would have liked it, even if we didn’t drop him where he wanted.

Cheery_Daff

Some lovely stories here. I too think it's really important to talk about death. Have any of you been to a Death Cafe? I haven't, I'm just interested. One of the things on my list for next year is to properly do some end of life planning. Not anticipating going any time soon 😮 but at the minute we have no wills or anything, so I would like to make some preparations. I don't have any particular wishes about burial, but I think leaving some ideas makes it easier for the people left behind sometimes. I know someone who's written quite a detailed document - this is my first choice, but if it's not practical or would really distress the family left behind, then this is my second choice etc, which is a nice idea 😊

girlatplay

greenbee said:

girlatplay said:

To put a more amusing slant on things, bf said that when it's his time to go he wants to be cremated and half of his ashes scattered in the park next to where he grew up, as he played there for the whole of his childhood.  The other half he wants us to take to the Maldives and he wants to be out on a sun lounger with a cocktail then be scattered in the sea.  I have told him that the park is no problem, I know exactly where he wants to be.  We both grew up within walking distance.  The Maldives, on the other hand, is unlikely to happen.  Our local beach is within walking distance from where I live at the moment.  I said we'll put him on a li-lo and push him into the North Sea.  It's the sea, it's all the same.  He's not impressed and says he'll come back to haunt us if we do that.

I hope I haven't offended anyone with that story.

My dad wanted his ashes to be scattered at a very specific point out at sea, about 8 nautical miles from the harbour where he kept his boat. A friend who is a local fisherman offered to take us, but the weather didn’t cooperate for the whole week, so we took him to a cove where he used to swim as a boy and told him to find his own way out to sea. We were careful with the wind (having had experience with other relatives) but a few bits stuck to the hull of the boat. His friend said ‘he’s been fishing with me plenty of times, it’ll be nice to have his company’.  I think my dad would have liked it, even if we didn’t drop him where he wanted.

That is really lovely 

EssexHebridean

greenbee that's lovely - and yes, it sounds like he would have been happy with that, both the choice of location and that he stayed with the boat for a little longer, too. 

Cheery I hadn't even heard of Death Cafes - slightly hesitate to google right now, at work...one for later! We've not got wills either, and right now that's fine as everything would default to the other if one of us went, and if we both went together, it would be evenly split between both sets of parents, as we both still have a full set. It is likely that in the next couple of years though that situation will not still be the same, so we've discussed that we do need to do something to allocate where things would go in the event of both of us going with parents no longer living. Love the idea of the detailed document especially the alternative options in case of family finding one distressing. That's kind of where we are with Auntie D right now - she left some wishes but we actually don't know if they can be followed, it may simply not be possible at all, and I sort of hope that it's not, as it would mean a church funeral and burial, both of which (partly due to the location) both Mum & I would really struggle with. If it can be done we feel we really should, but I'd much sooner we didn't have to! 

Not much change on the survey front since yesterday - a few OnePoll bits yesterday so I'm now at 1565 points there. Also did a nice chunky YouGov one yesterday for 125 points but obviously I'm still about fifteen years off being able to claim there!  

Just had the booster invitation so going to see if I can sort that out for this side of Christmas - slightly wary of potentially writing the weekend off if I get side effects, although aside from a slightly sore/achey arm I didn't for either of the first two...

Managed to book myself a hair cut for later today - it won't be cheap but it needs doing - it will literally be the first time since Covid hit that it's been done by a method any more professional than me, a high ponytail and a pair of scissors, and the ridiculous length of it is driving me up the wall now - so it will be worth the cost . At least, I *hope* it will - this is the salon along from my work who gave me such a truly awful cut last time I had it done there... Hoping it can't be that bad twice...

EssexHebridean

Well trying to sort the booster proved fruitless - a LOT of time on the website in queues, then being shoved back to the start again at one stage, and when I did finally get in the earliest I can book is January. Sigh. I may have to bite the bullet and go the walk-in route, although already being anxious about the whole thing I'd far sooner go somewhere familiar. 

I feel the need of a list for today:

TaDa!
- Printed router return label
- MrEH has booked his tyres
- hair cut booked
- Started clearing email inbox
- updated apps on phone

To do
- Decide whether to move the bike at lunchtime
- charge watch
- sort out order for oil/mayonnaise before the discount code expires

I think I may end up adding to this... 

RelievedSheff

I have decided to go to a walk in centre for my booster. I tried 3 times yesterday to book an appointment but the system kept sending me round in circles. 

I'm in Sheffield at the dentist next Tuesday and there is a walk in centre just up the road so I will go and get my booster there I think. Then pop into work which is just up the road again. 

Cheery_Daff

Death Cafes are just groups of people who 'gather to eat cake, drink tea, and discuss death'- kind of a bit like we've been doing here! Their website says it's more a discussion group than grief counselling session. I think they're aiming to demystify death and get people to talk about it a bit more. I've not been to one - it looks like there was actually one in my nearest town before covid but it's never restarted. There is one about 20 miles away though, maybe I'll go as part of next year's planning.