Changing habits, wanting freedom

jvr

Feeling totally panicked. Got the forms through for OH's new passport, turns out you have to some how persuade 'the british authorities' t take your fingerprints and sign it off if you are applying through post. who does that mean? why for Uk visa could we just go to the damn post office!! Just feel sick about it all and wondering if OH can just go to London to sort it next week but you have to be there 9am and we live in Yorkshire has to be sorted asap if we want to be able to go to SA in Jan as it takes 4 months to come through

Honey_Bear

That all sounds like a bit of a nightmare JVR. At the very least, before your OH starts blasting off to London on the off-chance that getting there by 9.00am is the only answer, it's important to do all of your research into what's required and the absolute deadlines. It's no good going off at halfcock on something as complicated as this. At the very least I'd suggest you join a discussion group of other South Africans living in the UK who've been though this process before.

Don't, whatever you do, book the flights until your OH has his new passport in his possession, and when it does arrive, lock it away where the dogs can't get at it.

SpekySquarehead

JVR, I had a colleague in a previous work who was form SA and had a similar issue. They wanted to see something like 2 years of payslips!! It's a bit of a nonsense. I hope it all gets sorted soon JVR.

Try not to panic!

JWPopps

Good luck, that sounds really stressful

jvr

Thanks guys! Was clearly feeling dramatic yesterday..... so dramatic infact I rang our local home office immigration and cried and begged until a lovely man reluctantly agreed to do the fingerprints today! So OH is there at 2.30 fingers crossed all gets sorted.
We filled out most of the forms last night but some bits don't make sense so I think Monday we will call them and go through each form before we send it off just to be sure. OH came back in a bad mood last night and I lost it.... had done so much to sort out this passport and it was like he barely recognised it!!
I got an apology.
Went to pick up a dress from a friend for the wedding tomorrow... its lovely and hasn't cost me a penny! this friend gets married in 3 weeks so borrowing my sisters dress from tomorrow for the next wedding, also saw her wedding dress which is gorgeous and sorted doing her nails, for her and her mum and sister... works perfectly as it can be my wedding present and cost less that £10 in Shellac products for £60 present.
Aside from the passport stress in back of head feeling really positive. Been checking accounts everyday and I can see huge changes in my behaviour. There are so many things that before, even though I was trying not to spend much I would have got because I 'needed' or 'deserved' and I just haven't, these purchase would have ended up in overdraft. Somehow have more money than I thought about £60 extra in the bills account which is I assume just me overestimating how much I put in and another£100 which is now sitting as a buffer in linked savings account. doing mum and sisters nails tonight so can afford drinks at the wedding tomorrow!

Honey_Bear

jvr wrote: »

Aside from the passport stress in back of head feeling really positive. Been checking accounts everyday and I can see huge changes in my behaviour. There are so many things that before, even though I was trying not to spend much I would have got because I 'needed' or 'deserved' and I just haven't, these purchase would have ended up in overdraft. Somehow have more money than I thought about £60 extra in the bills account which is I assume just me overestimating how much I put in and another£100 which is now sitting as a buffer in linked savings account. doing mum and sisters nails tonight so can afford drinks at the wedding tomorrow!

It seems there are several stages to debt-busting. Turning the juggernaut around from being someone whose overdraft and credit cards just seem to accumulate more and more debt while we think we're working on it, to actually paying it down so that it disappears isn't what we initially think it is.

It's a massive, massive change in attitude and behaviour that doesn't happen overnight because the reality is we don't know how we got into debt and not only do we need to address the financial side of it, we need to address the mindset that made it happen.

Taking lunch to work every day, not buying coffees while we're out, knowing that 'we're worth it' without spending money isn't as straightforward as it first appears. It's a 180 degree turn, reversing years of consumer spending habits that big companies have spent literally billions of pounds convincing us that the road to happiness relies on us being parted from our hard-earned money.

The discipline involved in it is hard. Learning new ways of doing things involves a bit of work and a bit of application of our grey matter, but for everyone who's ever made it through to being debt-free, it's been worth it. You'll be a different person, you'll think differently and you'll behave differently but you'll really respect the person you've become, you'll admire her and you'll be a lot happier.

If you read other debt-buster diaries you'll find that pretty much everyone seems to go through this same process of several lightbulb moments, but we all get there in the end.

Well done on what you're achieving, even if your OH sometimes takes you for granted - well done for reminding him that you're doing a lot for him and a bit of appreciation is the very least he can give you.

brizzledfw

Wise words HB. Thanks

You're doing great jvr, good to hear you're there with the passport. We had a dramarama with DD1s before Xmas, few days before we needed it. Complete heart attack inducing time...I can sympathise. Hope it's all sorted, time is on your side.

Xx

jvr

Thanks guys!


So OH went along to the home office and then they said they have no official stamp and the form goes on and on about how it must be stamped! They also said that whenever they deal with anything south African related its a nightmare .... I can only agree! They did the fingerprints and signed who they were etc. Then other half rang the embassy and they said no that's okay so just need to go through all the forms today and send them off


Wedding was lovely and we barely spent a penny. OH left with my sister early (she has ME so can't do much for long) and then me my other sister and my cousin discovered the wine not drunk at other tables and had a fabulous night drinking free wine lots of dancing and catching up with people. Even more amazing no hangover the next day..........


............ the one issue with this is the day after I did my dates and realised I was 'late' two test later and I discovered we do not have ten months to get rid of this debt we have 8!! only just under 5 weeks so very early days.... doesn't feel real but at same time even more determined.


Suffering caffeine and nicotine withdrawals at the same time is fun but think how much I will save with a good reason to quit!

JWPopps

Oh JVR congratulations!!!!!!

jvr

Thanks Popps!! Terrified!


Updated signature £700 payed off since 21s of July.... sadly all stand still tills 21st of august now!