Changing habits, wanting freedom

SpekySquarehead

Hey JVR,

Hope you're doing ok

Honey_Bear

How's it going, JVR?

jvr

Hi

Well its been a while…,. It has been a difficult few months. My gran died in September and then the OH managed to tear his ACL, he is a chef so makes work impossible. He managed to use his left over sick pay and holiday pay to cover October but is signed off till the end of November. After his work tried to say he wouldn’t be entitled to SSP I got in touch with HMRC disputes who were amazing and said that there are no visa restrictions and he is entitled so after a bit of pushing they have agreed, so at least will get paid something. However it also means an op at some point with long recovery and we are due to go to south Africa in January which we now don’t have enough savings for…. Under normal circumstances would cancel but he hasn’t seen family in so long and its his best friends wedding so people may not agree but it would just destroy him to not go. On top of all this I am 10 weeks pregnant…… which is amazing but I calculated and we can’t afford it haha….
…. Our fire was declared dangerous which cost £80 to be told but my dad has given us some money for a new one which is very generous……. Im sure lots more has happened but this might give you an idea why I have just been plodding through and not posting! Will do some catching up on diaries….. thank you to those that posted I just wasn’t in the right headspace to update what was going on

NoOneAround

So Sorry to hear about your Gran Jvr, lots of hugs.
You really have had a hard few months, and with OH being off work too.
So pleased to hear your baby news though - Congratulations! Look after yourself - everything else will work itself out

NOA
x

SpekySquarehead

Hey JVR

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear about your gran. The last few months have certainly been very hectic by the sounds of things and so posting here is understandably low on the to-do list. But it's great to have you back.

And congratulations on the pregnancy too! Although the timing may not be ideal, you'll make it work and it'll be a little bundle of joy.

I'm sure one of the threads on here somewhere may be able to help with your OH's situation too.

Keep in touch and stay positive.

Florence_J

Hi JVR. it's nice to 'see' you back but I'm sorry things have been difficult. Congratulations on the pregnancy. X

Honey_Bear

It's good to see you posting again JVR, and I quite understand why you weren't in a place that wanted to post. I'm sure I'm not just speaking for myself that hearing what you've been through, we'd all give you a huge (((hug))) if we could because no matter who that happened to in the space of a few months, none of us would wish it on anyone.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope you have lots of wonderful memories of her to see you through the next few months while you come to terms with your loss.

Your OH's situation is difficult, and I feel for you both over his ACL problems. I hope the NHS does you proud and it's heartening to hear that HMRC has been helpful - not a thing we hear very often so it's heartening to hear about it.

Huge, huge congratulations on the pregnancy - how wonderful to have something to look forward to! You're right, the timing isn't perfect financially, but you'll be amazed at how quickly your thinking refocusses around the implications of becoming parents.

And as for the trip to South Africa, well, you know you can't afford it, but as it's happening I suggest you make the most of it because you won't be able to do it very often once the baby's born. I'm sure your OH will realise that while his family in SA is important to him, providing for the future of his own child will need to be a priority in the future, so enjoy SA and the wedding as much as you both can and then get stuck in when you're both back here.

Good luck with it all and I hope the pregnancy goes smoothly. If it helps to keep posting, I for one would love to hear how it all goes.

jvr

Wow it’s been a very long time. Need to do a very quick summary and at some point update debt totals (BAD)
So first of all, I miscarried again the day before my 12 week scan, ended up being very physically traumatic and was off work for three weeks in severe pain. Luckily on full pay but I basically went nuts online shopping (while telling myself I was emotionally fine, you have to love a bit of denial!) Then came Christmas which wasn’t too bad. OH is still off work with the knee injury so he went to SA just before Christmas to be with his family and I joined on the 10th of January, having spent a lovely Christmas with me family. So, tickets and spending money and my blow out means debt has gone up A LOT!
The holiday was amazing and really has done so much for both of us mentally that it was worth every penny. In other good news OH income protection insurance is finally paying out so will help massively and fingers crossed cover him till operation and the recovery and then he can look at a new job. I also need him to get on with house jobs while he is off and before his surgery.
So financially waiting for his money to come in and then will sit and do debt totals and budget, he seems totally on board and is even saying we will quit smoking together which not only saves a fortune in itself but on all the extra bits you buy when going to the shop for them!
I have lots of clothes thanks to my splurge and my SIL got me amazing facial products (dermalogica) for Christmas so I feel quite set and won’t need anything for a while. Eating from the freezer as needs defrosted and a trip to aldi tonight for a few bits will see us through
Feeling strangely positive considering the terrifying debt total!

jvr

Updated my signature ah well onwards and upwards I have had to remind myself this is with a long trip to SA and the OH being off for months only on SSP.
Anyway, went to Aldi last night got bits for chicken fajita and told OH to defrost some chicken, freezer now half empty and I think we may have to get inventive with meals. Made enough to feed me OH and his friend plus my lunch for today. Grabbed other bits we needed and then two treats. One was a new bottom sheet for the bed which we really do need and the second was one of those gorgeous candles that smell just like Jo Malone ones so no regrets. Came to about £37 which also included new light bulbs. I also spend 50p on a whispa yesterday so hoping no spends today. OH pay just came in, includes the insurance money and his holiday pay from work so managed to clear the overdraft again and pay some to debts, once all gone through will update signature again.
Other plus is I remembered my sister still owes £70 for some books I put on my credit card for her!

NoOneAround

Good to see you back jvr.
So sorry to hear your news. Hugs.
So glad that you went to SA had a lovely holiday. I think you both needed it to recharge. You are sounding very positive.
Hope 2018 is a good year for you.
NOA
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