Changing habits, wanting freedom

jvr

So finally looking at starting a diary, need something to keep me on track! So debt stands at 5,481.43 was originally about 6,000 6 months ago. It’s a mixture of spending due to buying our first house and not adjusting to me being on a much lower income down about 10,000 a year.
So I am 27 and live with my OH and two dogs and one cat. We want to think about having children soonish and the debt needs to be gone. Complications are due to the fact my OH is
from SA, every two years we have had about 2,000 to pay out for visa’s we also have to send money back to SA to family over there. Luckily the next visa in 2.5 years time will be for citizenship but could cost about 3,000.
1 year ago I quit my well paid but horrendous job and started working in admin and a horrifying low wage but without any of the stress. I’m a bit bored now but love my team and organisation so hopeful that I can change my role within the team and have it be a bit more interesting and more money!! Between me and OH we earn just under 40,000 a year so where the hell does it go!?
Things holding us back – my OH is terrible with money (not that I am perfect) although he is getting better its hard. We also both smoke….. Switched to role ups and have halved the costs but still for our bank balance/ health and hope to have kids we have to stop this. My mental health is also a bit of a problem with on and off depression and anxiety making things tricky.
I control our spending except for OH’s allowance which he often runs out of far too early considering how much he gets. For last 3 months have stopped putting anything on cards, have redecorated down stairs without making more debt and have paid off about 100 a month. Also started a savings account for Christmas and OH’s car insurance next year in hope to not spend ages paying debt just to get back into it when a big bill comes along! Did all the switching energy suppliers etc to save money but just seems to end up in black hole. Also started cycling to and from work which saves on bus fair and is good for health!
Other big expense is I am have driving lessons at the moment which is holding back the debt repayment and feeling frustrating but has to be done if hope to get this other job ~(and just because in life it is good idea!!)
Been reading lots of diarys and found so many people inspiring yet I still seem to run through money with nothing to show for it…. So hoping this will keep my on track!


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Dolphin1

:T Well done for starting the diary, very good luck with the debt-busting and the numerous other things you have going on! I have subscribed to offer my support where I can.

joeyjimbles

Well done on getting started with your own shiny new diary - and it didn't cost you a penny.

Pom poms at the ready to cheer you on.

jvr

Thanks Joey & Dolphin!
So having a bit of a hard time at the moment so trying to set myself small goals after work to keep the house going – OH works very long odd hours so can’t help much day to day.
Managed to cook myself food even if it was just shoving a chicken pastry thing from aldi in the oven and get dishwasher filled and emptied and dogs had crazy run around in garden, glad the weather was okay as couldn’t face getting them out on a walk. OH is off today so he can look after them today – he also has an interview for promotion that would be amazing better money and we could actually have a full day off together every week!
Money wise NSD – brought my lunch and breakfast from home, went to yoga on my lunch which I had a 10 class pass for. Thinking of getting the membership which is £45 a month – a lot of money! But I am now going four times a week on my lunch breaks and it is massively helping with mood still less than what I used to pay monthly for bus fair – but should I be paying for something which is essentially a luxury when I am in debt

Honey_Bear

Good luck with the debt-busting, JVR.

jvr

Thanks Honey Bear, how are you doing?

jvr

Morning
So yesterday was good took my lunch and breakfast, cycled in and used a free pass for yoga (keeps me busy and away from the shops in the city centre). OH had his interview and went really well so fingers crossed should find out if he gets in by Friday!! Because been struggling with feeling low suggested to OH we go out for dinner to get out of the house, nipped up to the pub up the road which is very cheap he had steak and I had half a chicken two glasses of wine for me and two craft beers for him and came to about £20 so pretty happy with that and definitely lifted my mood. We have decided we need to have a date night weekly as we hardly see each other and the two evenings we have off together we end up in same room not talking and doing different things. Will prob just be a drink up the road once a week as half decent glass of wine is about £2 so can easily have a trip on a tenner between us.
Today I made porridge and brought it to work but didn’t make any lunch last night as sat down and watched a film after dinner so will grab something cheap and go in to town to pop a birthday check into the bank
Still unsure whether to pay for monthly yoga, but think gonna go for it as it makes me feels so good?! Hmmm decisions
Otherwise on track with money but have a night out coming up so will have to be careful – taxi’s and drinks add up, should get a hip flask and save a fortune!

jvr

So just terrible spend day yesterday.. Hadn’t made lunch so went to a local caf! and got a panini (same price as going to the tesco and much nicer food) but decided to add a coffee on as well…. Then in evening a friend came and we walked the dogs which was lovely and she was taking a curry back home so then all I could think about was curry so me and OH spent £20 on a take away which is half our weekly food budget… not that there was anything left in the food budget because I did mammoth shop this week and the fridge and freezer are full!! Because we did that last night I didn’t make food to bring today for lunch but luckily a colleague lives round the corner and I got home made carbonara pasta.
On worse money news OH got a parking ticket ages ago that we challenged and have lost the appeal so have £100 to pay luckily his MOT was only £62 so slightly less than expected.
Really need to get a grip on finances just feels overwhelming

Honey_Bear

It's difficult knowing where to start to get to grips with dealing with spendy behaviour, isn't it? Have you tried reading the Grocery Challenge thread, particularly the first few posts which detail the carefully collated ideas that people have found work for them? Or, debt-busting blogs or diaries, including lovely Happy Now's from the beginning? I found doing all of those things helped me deal with bad habits one at a time, and cumulatively it's turned my life around.

Regarding packed lunches, if you can't force yourself to make something every evening for the following day (as I found when I worked, just couldn't be bothered), my solution was to make all of the sandwhiches I'd need on the weekend, and then freeze them in individual cheapo bags. Buy one sliced loaf specially for the task, butter it, shove in cheese or ham, or whatever you'd like, and then freeze them. Be realistic about it - if you always have a round of sandwiches and then end up buying a snack at work, take two rounds and an apple (cheap at the moment).

As for buying coffee .... I have a flask. It goes everywhere with me, including to bed, so that I can have a cup of tea in the morning without getting out of bed. Lovely. But seriously, if we're going out for a few hours, or the day, the flask comes with us every time. It would certainly go to work with me if I found myself buying coffees on work days. Wilkinson's are selling a big one for £4 at the moment, so not having two takeaway coffees would pay for it. Bargain.

jvr

Hi Honey thanks!
Yes it’s not like I’m buying crazy amounts of stuff or expensive things as we don’t have enough money, it’s all the little amounts that can by throwing me out by £100 each month. I’m doing budgets but not changing my behaviour so it all goes out the window. Will def look at the Grocery Challenge thread and found the diaries especially Happy’s really helpful… just can’t seem to find the commitment other people have to it all. Certainly not helped by mental health problems at moment, missed work yesterday and struggling.
Did your suggesting and cooked a load of peppers and halloumi to go in wraps this week. Cheap and healthy but then had call last night that someone in my team’s birthday so going out for lunch to the pub. Only a team of three so can’t really bow out and only £6.95 for big lunch but didn’t actually have the funds for it.
The flask is not a bad idea… don’t often buy coffees on work days as have so much in the office but other times I am out and about I do and it’s not like I even buy fancy coffee anyway so I just pay for the luxury of my normal coffee that I could have brought with me.
Thanks for all your advice need to have a sit down and when I get paid work out how much I actually have for the next month as will be a little overdrawn. Will look at grocery thread – thinking of trying more veggie options to save money and its good for me….. and of course there is the stopping smoking issue!!

jvr

So money feels a disaster so far this month… feel like just starting again on pay day 21st for me. Debts gone down not up so I guess that is the only plus even if savings put away are really just covering the amount have gone into overdraft