Changing habits, wanting freedom

SpekySquarehead

Take it as a blessing in disguise and you'll learn from it. It certainly seems you have given your plans for December and such a notoriously difficult month to be frugal in so go you.

It's totally do-able but it does take some sacrifices.

jvr

Yep think I just lost the plot at end of the month when had to pay out unexpectedly and instead of rejigging budget I just stopped counting!! Will get some extra from OH (he gives me money every month for food and bills) to pay back the stuff I lent him so fingers crossed can do it. Deliberately haven't made budget crazy tight as I know that when I fail I struggle so if I can get through this month can tighten it a bit next month! Will also suggest me and OH just get each other little pressies since we are both skint!

jvr

Yesterday was a bit of a bad day. Got text while at work from OH as had left the milk out and the rotty had got to it as well as eating the contents of the fridge. He was really harsh and basically blamed it all on me. His new job means he is working 50 hours a week now so I have had to take on basically all dog walking, cooking and looking after the house. Just felt like it doesn’t matter how much I do the one time I mess up I get cr*p for it! I got a bit upset at work and my mood just plummeted. After a bit he apologised but feels like a circle where he overacts, I get hurt, he apologises and it all happens all over again. Work was a drag and then I got home and instead of leaving dogs in kitchen he had put them in living room. As its much bigger space and the rotty isn’t fully potty trained yet she just ‘went’ everywhere. If in kitchen she waits as its smaller and like her bed. She had also ripped part of ‘new’ sofa from my mums and I just felt totally defeated and tired. After cleaning up collapsed on sofa with glass of wine … basically this is all leading up to my excuse of why we got a takeaway again! I need to find better ways to cope with things so I don’t just crash like that and give up. For my waistline and my wallet!
We then actually had really nice evening watching documentary and he gave me a lift in to work today and I will ride my bike home, which was left at work on Monday due to storm.
Hoping for a better day today……….. on plus side enough left over from last night for me to have for lunch today.

jvr

Yesterday was better, very hectic day at work but we had free buffet for the meeting so that’s always a bonus. Got a lift in from OH he must have been feeling guilty and cycled home so no spends for me. Cheap and cheerful jacket potatoes with chicken and bacon that needed used up. There is a work night out on Friday but not going as money I don’t need to spend and (I’m very sad but) Gilmore girls is out on Netflix on Friday so I am off to my mums to watch that with her and my sister!! Then on to London on Saturday, think I will just take cash out to try limit drunken spends! Luckily my friend whose birthday it is also has to be careful with money so shouldn’t be very expensive places (fingers crossed) Have to buy my lunch today as have nothing in but will get some bits to make a few lunches and stuff I can take home. Driving lesson tonight but have money set aside from that. Head hurting this morning but feeling a lot more positive………. Apologies for the downer posts recently!

SpekySquarehead

Morning,

No need to apologies. That's what you've got a diary for - to vent. Lots of friendly faces here to help guide you in the right direction wither it's finances or personal life.

It is indeed unfortunate to miss out on nights out however, needs must. And you'll thank yourself for it on Saturday morning.

jvr

I have my trip to London this weekend which is more important to me and a few drinks in the pub plus getting home would easily cost me £20 which I don't need to spend.
Odd day yesterday, took breakfast and lunch in so that was good and then I left early because of a very odd situation with the daughter of a family friend. Don't really want to go into detail on a public site but the upshot is she is 17 and may end up living with my mum for a bit. Just hope my advice and the way I went about talking to her was right. Feels bad timing for me to go away for the weekend but my mum is around and I can be on the end of the phone if she needs me.
Trip to the supermarket with OH, which is always dangerous, but we got some bargainous steaks which were lovely and some yellow sticker items for my lunch. Milk, cat food, toilet roll etc and a lovely south Africa bottle of red which was only £3.50. We spent £20 in total which is okay as long as its not every week. the steaks were huge rumps and 2 for a fiver is pretty good. My OH is from South Africa so even if we were absolutely broke we would still have to have steaks regularly I'm sure! Got a lift in today which will mean bus fair later but I'm so tired its worth it this week, and I have my £1.70 sandwich for breakfast that we get every Friday. I also need to put in an extra £1 as another team that orders with us seems to constantly short change, my colleague made up the difference last time so don't want her to have to do it again and we will speak to other team as they are taking the p*ss!
Haven't done yoga all week so may go this lunch time but have pulled a muscle in my neck so not sure if it's the best idea.
At work, my team, normally does a secret Santa just spending a fiver. I think there is nothing more awkward than trying to find something for a senior manager so I suggested we all donate to this charity instead that gives presents to kids that wouldn't get them otherwise. There is a collection in our reception so it seemed a good compromise and means I can use my boots points to get something nice to go in there!

jvr

Been absent for longer than I realised. Luckily this doesn’t mean I have completely fallen off the bandwagon!! Had a fab time in London, can’t remember if I said but I got the train not the coach. It does cost a lot more but for such a short trip it was so worth it! I stayed at my friend’s house so had not hotel costs but the first place we went was the NatWest building (I think that’s what it’s called) Incredible views across London but her friends ordered bottles of champagne and it cost £25 each for a drink for about half an hour… had a mild panic as had only about £60 I could spend! Luckily the next place I got one cocktail (£10!) and then everyone bought loads of prosecco so I shared that. Since they spent so much time telling me about being high flying London girls I didn’t feel a bit bad for not buying a bottle. The final place we had paid a £10 deposit and then paid £30 each which covered all drinks so all in all not too bad. Odd night in some ways as although lots of her friends were very nice, I was quite naïve and it didn’t cross my mind that all these women in late 30’s would be taking drugs all night… was a bit shocked when I realised. Maybe I am just very naïve these days!
Other than that as planned just minimum debt repayment this month and the rest repaid the overdraft that we were in to by about £600. Realistically I will go in about £150 this month. Feel if I plan that I am more likely to stick to it, if I plan to go in by only this amount I will be careful if I try and not go into it, I will anyway and then think a f*ck it may as well go all out now I have blown it!
Work has been pretty stressful and OH’s work has been a nightmare so he is exhausted and grumpy. Cancelled a drink with friends tonight as I am so tired and think maybe we need a night on the sofa. Plodding on with only a few more pressies to buy for Christmas.

brizzledfw

Just catching up...I am the same, if I slip I tend to really slip, but I have found that it's much better to try and manage expectations, breathe and then try again to rein it in. Going out is always tricky, especially when people (who perhaps you don't know well) get paid much more than you. Well done for sticking to your guns (and keeping it legal )

Onwards and upwards!

Brizzle x

Cheeseface

I couldn't believe the difference in prices of drinks between London bars and the local bars. I was a student in London but can't remember things being massively different in price. Well done for sticking to your budget.

jvr

Hi Brizzle.... I like that phrase 'managing expectations' sums up this month! I think that has been a big learning curve for me, learning not to try pay too much off, fail and then think oh well and go on spending spree! Equally if i realise will have to use overdraft this month setting myself a budget for that as well.

Hi Cheeseface... I know i was in a bit of a state of shock at first when the bill came, especially as hadn't been asked what i wanted to drink (could have claimed to hate champage haha) Luckily my friend had persuaded them to get the cheapest bottles at a mere 60 quid each! Luckily she is a very close friend so i don't mind that the night was a bit more expensive than planned.

Quiet weekend so far, stayed in friday night as was feeling rubbish and my sister dropped by. Yesterday was cleaning and dog walking followed by movie night on the sofa with OH after his 14 hour day. Need to go food shopping today so writing a list should probably try do a meal plan!