xmas/ birthday presents

Tommo1980

My Nan regularly gifts money to here children, grandchildren and great grandchild because she can afford to and that is what she chooses to do with her money.

If she ever needed here care funding then we as a family would pay for it. That is what family is all about.

Tom

phil122

ev8 wrote: »

I don't have evidence that they abandoned her, but I was talking about those who were out for the money of the elderly.
If my Grandmother said making me happy was giving me £500 every birthday and Christmas I would be returning it to her or using the money on her. There is no way I would be ensuring I was getting it.

And I sure as hell wouldn't be checking on it to make sure she still could give me my £500.

This thread just makes me quite sad.

will you please stop judging people and stop comparing me to your sad family :mad: my nan has everything in life that she wants unlike your family.
which makes me quite sad

pmlindyloo

I think that people are giving you a hard time.

May I make a suggestion?

I can understand that if grandma is strong willed then she may well have the attitude 'it's my money I can do what I like with it'. She may also have little idea of how long her capital and savings will support her.

In these circumstances it may be difficult to stop grandma doing what she wants!

So, my suggestion. Let grandma continue to give whatever she wants to the grandchildren and ask them to take, say, a £100 from the gift and then put the remainder into a savings account.

This way if grandma needs the money in the long term it can be 'gifted back' and if not, the grandchildren may have a tidy sum to use after a few years.

SnooksNJ

SailorSam wrote: »

We are very friendly.
Are the school holidays still on ?

I know, it's the second fake story I read today.

phil122

the money nan gives away would only give her an extra 3 weeks a year in the home so we are hardly taking her life savings

kingfisherblue

phil122 wrote: »

Hi ive been viewing threads for some time but this is my first post so i hope its in the right place.
Each Birthday?xmas my nan has given all grandchildren quite large £500 presents in form of cash this has been going on for many years. Unfortunately she has had to sell her house to go into a home. She is funding the home £1000 per week herself. SS have said that they will step in and pay when my nan.s money drops below a certain amount. Now my question can she still give the grandchildren these presents or is this now seen as trying to get rid of her money so that the SS will pay for her home. many thanks Phil

As others have said, such large amounts are likely to be seen as Deprivation of Capital. You (or someone else) need to have a talk with your nan and explain that it is time to downsize the gifts considerably (perhaps £20 per person) to prevent her from getting into trouble in the future. If she isn't bothered about potential DoC, you could approach it from the angle that you, her family, will be in deep water for accepting such large gifts, and that you will also potentially be placed in the position of having to pay large sums towards her keep. This might persuade her to avoid giving her much loved family any bother, and reducing gifts to a much lower level.

If a 'one off' type of occasion arises, such as a wedding, maybe agree a higher budget of perhaps £50. That way, she is prepared for giving a lower amount.

If she can cope with it, you could also show her a calculation of how long her money will last for self funding based on extravagant gifts, and how long based on a realistic budget. If she knows that she may have to move to a less pleasant home, and receive only around £25 a week 'pocket money', it might focus her mind on the realities of DoC. Also, I would imagine it is pretty degrading for many older people to have the bulk of their money taken away and just be left with a token amount, especially of they have managed their money well for several decades.

Try approaching it from the point of view that you don't want her or anyone in the family to get into any trouble for DoC, and that you're sure she would rather reduce gift values dramatically now, rather than rely on family having to pay expensive top up amounts in the future, or your nan be given 'pocket money'.

You could also offer to find some great gifts at affordable prices - after all, you are on MSE, so you know something about moneysaving!

phil122

kingfisherblue wrote: »

As others have said, such large amounts are likely to be seen as Deprivation of Capital. You (or someone else) need to have a talk with your nan and explain that it is time to downsize the gifts considerably (perhaps £20 per person) to prevent her from getting into trouble in the future. If she isn't bothered about potential DoC, you could approach it from the angle that you, her family, will be in deep water for accepting such large gifts, and that you will also potentially be placed in the position of having to pay large sums towards her keep. This might persuade her to avoid giving her much loved family any bother, and reducing gifts to a much lower level.

If a 'one off' type of occasion arises, such as a wedding, maybe agree a higher budget of perhaps £50. That way, she is prepared for giving a lower amount.

If she can cope with it, you could also show her a calculation of how long her money will last for self funding based on extravagant gifts, and how long based on a realistic budget. If she knows that she may have to move to a less pleasant home, and receive only around £25 a week 'pocket money', it might focus her mind on the realities of DoC. Also, I would imagine it is pretty degrading for many older people to have the bulk of their money taken away and just be left with a token amount, especially of they have managed their money well for several decades.

Try approaching it from the point of view that you don't want her or anyone in the family to get into any trouble for DoC, and that you're sure she would rather reduce gift values dramatically now, rather than rely on family having to pay expensive top up amounts in the future, or your nan be given 'pocket money'.

You could also offer to find some great gifts at affordable prices - after all, you are on MSE, so you know something about moneysaving!

thanks wise word spoken we will have a chat with her the last thing we wont is anyone getting into trouble
that's all this thread was about..

ev8

phil122 wrote: »

will you please stop judging people and stop comparing me to your sad family :mad: my nan has everything in life that she wants unlike your family.
which makes me quite sad

i don't want to get into a childish squabble. But it is evident you do not have everything you want in lief if you need to make sure you can keep raking it in from your grandmother.

I have all I need, thank you, and the people who I was referring to are people I would not call my family, I haven't spoken to them since because of their disgusting behaviour.

Good luck with it all though.

bspm

DomRavioli wrote: »

Giving large sums of money to family IS deprivation of capital. That is how it is viewed - that money is to pay for her care, not her grandchildren's extravagant tastes.

How did you arrive at the assumption that her grandchildren have extravagant tastes?!?

My mom gifted £1000 every birthday to each of her seven grandchildren. This money was saved for them by myself, my sister and brother.

Each one of them, on reaching the age of 25 had over £35,000 for a deposit for their homes, they still live in the homes they bought with 'Nannys gift' not exactly extravagant.

It was a wonderful legacy and one my mom wanted to do, like the OPs Nan, you could not say NO to my mom either.

We did not find ourselves in the position of her needing to go in to care, she was diagnosed with cancer and stayed at home where we all looked after her, it is what she wanted. Had the need arisen for us to fund a care home for her we would have worked something out as a family to get the best for her.

OP I am sure if your nan continues to gift money to grandchildren it will be seen as deprivation of capital, that was the question you asked.

There has been no need for some of the comments, not helpful at all.

By the way, I have carried on the tradition, we too gift our three grandchildren (soon to be four) £1500 every birthday.

moomoomama27

It will be seen as deprivation of capital. If she continues to do this, then she runs the risk of issues arising with the funding of her care.

As a family me,bet, if she is so strong willed she won't take on board the consequences of the large gifts now she is becoming state dependent, either ask someone neutral to chat with her, or take her gift and save it to be able to offer back when inevitably this deprivation of capital catches up with her.