Natural Burial

BarryBlue

Loanranger wrote: »

We went to a humanist funeral recently and it is something we both want for ourselves. It was perfect for a couple of non believers like us.

Couldn't agree more. The celebrants actually put some work into it and make it an occasion to remember. That was the feedback we got from the many people that attended my FIL's funeral.

I have long thought it to be utter hypocrisy to have a religious content when you have no religion. But it seems to happen by default. You need to take control and insist on a Humanist funeral if it is appropriate to you. Otherwise you end up with some 'house vicar' who just goes through the motions.

There is absolutely no reason to have anything at a funeral that you don't want. We had no hymns or prayers, just suitable music and memories, plus a well-researched tribute. As the celebrant said, he didn't have to share his funeral with anyone else.

mumps

When a friend of my husband's died they couldn't locate a humanist to conduct the service so my husband did it. He was approached by the undertaker afterwards and asked if he was interested in doing it again as they had trouble finding people to conduct non religious ceremonies. My husband wasn't able to do it, work pressures, but was flattered to be asked.

Gers

This is a fascinating discussion which I've just stumbled upon.

My father requested a cardboard coffin and a non-religious ceremony which I stuck too. Mind you, his first request was for a black bin liner and a tree on his head, something not achievable twenty years ago.

An important legal principle is that the disposal of human remains is entirely down to a decision of the next of kin. There is no legal right for the deceased to have their expressed wishes complied with. You can say 'I want ...' however if your next of kin disagrees then it won't happen.

However, I hope it's not often that that happens as respecting the wishes of a loved one is a moral decision.

My struggle in doing as my beloved father wanted was with the wider family who were mostly aghast at the truly dreadful coffin (as was I). Fortunately my uncle was on hand to explain, very firmly, that all was being done as directed. My father made sure his brother knew of his wishes.

My fathers ashes were scattered in a small wood near where we grew up, they were joined by my brothers ashes and soon a portion of one of his sons will join them. No memorial stones, just memories in the hearts of family.

seven-day-weekend

Just to say a woodland burial does not negate a religious ceremony, if that is your wish. Several people on here have equated it with a humanist/other non-religious ceremony. You can have whatever ceremony you like.

Some friends of mine, giants in the faith, were killed together in a car crash a couple of years ago. They were Baptist ministers/missionaries and had a full church funeral, with overflow TV link to the church hall, and also people outside. Hundreds of people. Then they had a simple woodland burial.

I wasn't able to attend unfortunately, but they certainly had a good send-off!

http://www.baptist-heartofengland.org/index.php/prayer/422-john-a-audrey-bedford

lessonlearned

That is the beauty of it these days.

In days of yore there were no real alternatives, it was a church service, then a burial in consecrated ground if you were eligible, unhallowed ground beyond the church walls if you were not.

When King John was excommunicated for defying the Pope the bodies began to pile up because there was no other mechanism in place.

Now you can have the service of your choice or not, and you can be buried or cremated.

As for ashes......that's a whole new ball game. I googled ..Ideas for what to do with ashes and there are loads of choices - from the thoughtful, to the whacky to the downright bizarre.

Whilst I understand the legality as to the next of kin being responsible for the "disposal of the deceased's remains" I do think there is a moral dimension at work too.

If the deceased has made their wishes known then I think we are morally obligated to try and fulfil those wishes.

If we loved the deceased then why would we not want to do that one last service for them, especially if it means so much to them. I see it as a final act of love, cherishing their memory.

ThemeOne

There is a lot more choice in how to have a funeral and burial these days. The problem is a funeral has to be arranged within a certain timescale usually, and often by those in a state of shock or grief, so it can be an awkward time to get to grips with all the alternatives, especially if not much thought has been given to it beforehand.

When my father died earlier this year he left no instructions, and we'd not discussed anything. He wasn't religious, though had been brought up in the church, so I gave him a religious crematorium funeral followed by a non-religious burial.

It seemed a decent compromise, which hopefully he would have been OK with. I think he'd have simply been appalled at the cost!

missbiggles1

ThemeOne wrote: »

There is a lot more choice in how to have a funeral and burial these days. The problem is a funeral has to be arranged within a certain timescale usually, and often by those in a state of shock or grief, so it can be an awkward time to get to grips with all the alternatives, especially if not much thought has been given to it beforehand.

When my father died earlier this year he left no instructions, and we'd not discussed anything. He wasn't religious, though had been brought up in the church, so I gave him a religious crematorium funeral followed by a non-religious burial.

It seemed a decent compromise, which hopefully he would have been OK with. I think he'd have simply been appalled at the cost!

Sorry, I hope you don't think I'm being tactless, but how did you manage to have both a cremation and a burial?

ThemeOne

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Sorry, I hope you don't think I'm being tactless, but how did you manage to have both a cremation and a burial?

Burial of the ashes.

missbiggles1

ThemeOne wrote: »

Burial of the ashes.

Oh, right thanks. I hadn't come across that before.

mumps

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Oh, right thanks. I hadn't come across that before.

It does give you alot more options. One of my grandparents was a great admirer of a famour historical figure. There would have been no chance of a burial in the same churchyard but we did manage to get permission to bury the ashes there.