Being the only 'OldStyler' in your friendship group.

candlelight_2013

I believe the stories told here have made us the OS people we are now.

When DD1 was about 3 and I was pregnant with DD2 we were so hard up waiting for Himself to be paid at the end of the month. On one occasion I bought a catering size tin of luncheon meat (remember that!!) I don't remember where I bought it from, and made a large coconut cake. We had luncheon meat with mash, chips, jackets, anything I could get cheap, with the cake to fill up after. Himself had to take luncheon meat sandwiches to work, poor man. I think that is why I have always made sure I had a store cupboard once I was able to afford it.

We tried to make sure Mum and Dad never knew, but you know what Mums are like. When we visited, she would say, Oh I have had a sort out in the freezer because I need the space, would you like .........., did we ever.

I think most of us have had hard times either at University or when first married. I am not saying I have always been OS. I know I fell off the wagon a couple of times when I worked, but so pleased I found my way back.

I love reading all your stories

Candlelightx

candlelight_2013

I was a knitter in those days as well and would knit jumpers and cardigans for both DDs, and do you remember when tank tops were in:eek:. I have a friend who lived just in the next road to us and she had 2 boys of similar ages to our DDs, so one Christmas I knitted tank tops for her DSs and she was so pleased. She was in the same situation as us but she didn't knit.

As things improved over the years, what we would do on a Friday, , was to pop into town, to the market, buy our veg and fruit for the week, and treat ourselves to a coffee and a toasted teacake. We really thought we were in the money. To this day she is my bestest friend and our priorities are still much the same.

Candlelightx

Larumbelle

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

Do people really do that !? That would totally explain the sheer volume of old furniture that seems to get thrown away around here, but seriously!? Furniture is expensive!

Gosh yes, people do that! It's crazy!!! Actually that is one thing that really has to be said for having non-OS friends - angle yourself to get their cast-offs and you'll never have to buy anything ever again! :rotfl: I was once given a leather suite that the purchaser hadn't even started to pay for yet. She decided that she didn't like it after all, and that was it, it had to go! Her idea of thrifty was giving them away so she didn't have to pay a removal company :eek:

MrsLurcherWalker thank you for so eloquently putting into words everything that was in my head

[Deleted User]

Noel Edmonds on Saturday Morning Swap Shop featuring a very young Delia Smith too...those were the days!!!

Words are easy pet, it's people that I find difficult in real life!

Rosemary7391

Larumbelle wrote: »

Gosh yes, people do that! It's crazy!!! Actually that is one thing that really has to be said for having non-OS friends - angle yourself to get their cast-offs and you'll never have to buy anything ever again! :rotfl: I was once given a leather suite that the purchaser hadn't even started to pay for yet. She decided that she didn't like it after all, and that was it, it had to go! Her idea of thrifty was giving them away so she didn't have to pay a removal company :eek:

MrsLurcherWalker thank you for so eloquently putting into words everything that was in my head

Wow... and here I thought getting cast offs meant things like my dad's old phone, after he'd used it for a couple of years and mine had died a death after 5! Where do folks get hundreds of pounds to throw away?

silverwhistle

I think the most useful phrase mentioned above is 'It's not in my budget'. I'm early retired but can manage a Premiership football season ticket, pre-match pints, a skiing holiday every year (I used to live in the mountains) and a small standing order for a charity that I chose without being harassed. But that is partly because my gas bill is only £36 a year (I scrounge wood for the stove), rarely eat out, _never_ have coffee out and use taxis once a year for my sports team's annual bash. It's all about your own priorities at every level of income.

lessonlearned

Same here. I'm retired and have a modest income, so I prioritise.

Thanks for the Warren Buffet link. It summed up what I tried to say earlier in the thread, only the article explained it better than I did.

If anyone is interested I recommend Mr Moneymoustache, a blog. Also there are plenty of books.

I recommend "The Millionaire Next Door" although that's a bit heavy. "The Rules of Wealth" is an easier read. But both are excellent books.

My youngest son was a real spendthrift but after reading some good money management books and of course this site he is now a changed man. From being constantly in debt through overspending he now has assets and savings.

Like many on here I have been through periods where I have been extremely hard up, but you get through it.

I think we all experience lean times. Hardship can be a good life lesson.

WantToBeSE There is absolutely no shame in being skint, and even if you had a nice little nest egg, there is nothing wrong in being thrifty.

It is your high spending friends who are getting it wrong, not you. You are in the right track.

We live in a dreadfully wasteful society. It revolts me to see how much is squandered and wasted.

I think the tide is beginning to turn though. More and more people seem to want to learn about frugality, thrift and sensible money management.

Just carry on as you are. If you continue to be sensible then one day you will see your fortunes start to improve. It probably won't always be as hard For you as it is now.

We live in uncertain times and it's people like you who will be best equipped to thrive and survive. When the next financial storm hits (and it will) then your spendthrift friends will get a shock.

People my age have weathered many a financial storm, we stopped worrying long ago because we know we can survive them.

tara747

nightengale wrote: »

...I kept a smile on my face for the sake of my daughter,when we got home I excused myself to the bedroom and had a good cry!!! My daughter who wasn't very old at the time came through and I apologized to her ,she put her arm around me and said don't be silly mummy I had a wonderful time and you should be proud as I know you will always cope without a lot,but if (the other party girls mummy) lost all their money they wouldn't cope at all.....still brings a lump to my throat now....sorry for the long post but it really hit a nerve today.....nightengale....xx

Your story actually brought a tear to my eye too, how lovely

lessonlearned wrote: »

Ah Nigthengale - your daughter sounds lovely. You must be so proud of her.

I was a poor girl who won a scholarship to a very exclusive all girls grammar school. Some of "the gels" there were very rich indeed. Most of their fathers were either professionals, surgeons and barristers, or something in the city or landed gentry.

I very quickly learned to say that my father "was something in transport" code for a bus conductor. :rotfl: Bless him, I wasn't ashamed of my background but I just learned very quickly how to fit in.

The thing that I did learn though was that often the really genuinely rich live surprisingly modestly, it was only the nouveau riche - the "Johnny Come Latelys" who actually flaunted their money.

The parents who were quietly loaded and who had been for generations werent in the least bit snobby or flash. In fact quite the reverse, they often lived very simply (surrounded by all their beautiful paintings and antiques of course) but they didn't flash the cash. My friends parents welcomed me with open arms even though I was a scholarship girl from the local council estate.

I came to learn that was how rich people stayed rich.;). Most of them wouldn't dream of wasting their money on fancy foreign holidays and flash clothes and cars.

I learned then that appearances can deceive, a lesson that stood me in good stead throughout my career as an EA. I would see clients who rolled up in their fancy cars, dressed up to the nines in their designer gear and discover we couldn't get them a mortgage because they had trashed their credit scores and were in debt up to their eyeballs.

Whereas some of my really rich friends drive beat up old bangers and dress like tramps.

Don't be deceived by what you see as high spenders who seem to have it all. Often they don't. Often they are clueless and in complete denial, living way above their means.

Even if they are managing "just fine" few of them will have any real reserves - how could they they are spending it as fast as they earn it.

Your lovely daughter is right. If her friends mummy lost all her money would she be able to cope as well as you do.

REmember the old saying "money talks, wealth whispers".

My rich friends couldn't give a hoot that I don't have as much money as they do......in fact most of them are just as thrifty and creative as I am. We share recipes and household and gardening tips and none of them think it's beneath them to sniff out a bargain.

Couldn't agree more. The few people I know who are 'old money' live very simply and don't flaunt their wealth - why would they, they have nothing to prove


The flashy ones are the 'nouveau riche', who seem desperate to impress. It's amusing, really.


I'm not the only OSer I know, but I'm definitely in a minority. I live a very simple life (while still allowing myself to indulge my only real vice, which is travel) - I'm sure some people think that I'm skint, but I couldn't care less.

hoglet121

Lessonlearned - I think it was you who put me onto Mr Money Moustache. I read the whole of his blog and I'm working my way through the forums. I just love him (and what he's done to my finances!) so thank you very much.

monnagran

Lessonlearned: You are so right. Those of us who, through bitter necessity, have learned how to cope with the bleak times will never be at a loss if they ever strike again. Talk of bed-sit life takes me back to the fifties when I started teaching and living in a Dickensian attic where I had to get up at least 3 times a night to boil a kettle and refill my hot water bottle in order to survive a cold night. Where the the ink in the bottle on the windowsill froze overnight and the curtains blew about in icy winds even though the Windows were shut.

I taught in a tiny 2 teacher village school, (think Miss Read) and my Head was very sympathetic. She allowed me to be on dinner duty every day because then I got a free lunch. Those delicious meals (they were cooked in the school kitchen) were the only food I had all day - they saved my life.

I couldn't afford a coat and a mac so I managed to get a lined raincoat and cried all the way home on bus because I had spent all my available money for the month on it.

I would never want my own children to go through what I had to endure but I did impress on them how lucky they were to be warm and well fed while they were growing up. They were not aware of the struggle I had to make sure that this was the case, but as they have grown up they have understood what it takes to make life possible and how to get their priorities right.

Those people that we have all met who have the "easy-come, easy go," attitude to life will be utterly bewildered when the tough times come, as they surely will. I feel sorry for them. They are going to have to start learning the lessons that we have all taken on as our way of life naturally. Poor things.

We must try not to be too smug!

x