Wife having an affair and suddenly asking for a divorce

paddedjohn

OP, your wife is a sl*g and it's time to sort your head out and move on. Get yourself a good solicitor and start the ball rolling but above all don't blame yourself.
Before anyone asks, yes I've been there in virtually the same circumstances.

PenguinOfDeath

helcat26 wrote: »

You need to speak to a solicitor and also find out about this other man

What good would that achieve? Does it make a difference if he's the bloke next door, a self made millionaire or a hobo from the park?

The only way the 'other person' should be considered is if they are a relative or friend of the one who has been cheated on.

helcat26

Hi penguin
What I meant was the OP is going out of the country leaving his children with his wife and presumably this new man in her life.
Surely for peace of mind and safety you would want to ensure that he does not have a criminal record or anything like that?

PenguinOfDeath

OK fair point, however where does that end? Does his family get checked out too? Would it be the same suspicion if he was a she?

*back on the fence I go*

helcat26

For me it would be the same if it were a she.
The OP's future actions need to include consideration of the children. If part of the consideration is whether he is happy for them to be in the care of the new partner then that determines if he carries on working away or tries to have care of his children.


Not being sexist frankly if there were no kids involved I would not care if he was an axe murderer

bbarroso

helcat26, exactly my point. I'm done, because once you have an affair the backdoor is open and to be fair, we only live once, let her be, plenty of nice people out there. Time will come where passion will fade and she finds this other guy has is own set of flaws, he will be paid the same way. My parenting responsibilities, however, are still to provide for my daughter and her well-being.

Had an argument recently she was saying to be a good mom and this and that, yet whenever she makes up her mind she just goes to spend the night away with him - Its an ongoing issue with no regret whatsoever.

bbarroso

paddedjohn wrote: »

OP, your wife is a sl*g and it's time to sort your head out and move on. Get yourself a good solicitor and start the ball rolling but above all don't blame yourself.
Before anyone asks, yes I've been there in virtually the same circumstances.

Thanks for the encouragement and I'm sorry to hear it happened to you as well. How did you got over the pain when that happened? Is it something it only gets better once you meet someone else or time just heals it?

FBaby

One day you'll fall in love again and you will thank your ex for what she did as otherwise, you will never have had the chance to meet and share your life with the love of your life who makes you so much happier.

ThomasMJacobs

I think just warn her that until you return she should allow the other guy to visit your daughter. If she doesn't agree then consult a lawyer.

bbarroso

They are already living together. He stays there with her while she goes to work on weekend evenings. I am denied access to my own house, that is I would have to find my own place should I want to see my daughter.

My landlord cant enter the property without a motive, so while he's aware of this there's not much he can do (If he tried to evict her he might have legal issues on his hands).

I'm also not allowed to spend a few days of the school holidays with my daughter, so I cant take her to spend some time with my parents or in my own place and the cherry on top of the cake, I don't have the right to a divorce unless I go with a layer (no reason why...) at some point in future.

All of the above appear to be more than her fair share of rights towards a relationship that has ended. Obviously she's avoiding the courts to have the child full time, so I'm basically linked to a relationship that doesn't exist.

What kind of legal advice can I get regarding this issue?