Housing issue and considering a second child

GwylimT

Even if you became pregnant today, it would be around three years in the future when a toddler bed would be needed at the earliest.

Ames

Think very carefully about repossession - the debt doesn't go away, unless you went bankrupt at the same time you'd still have to pay back the difference between what the mortgage company sell it for (which may be well below market value) and what you owe.

Perhaps if you post on the debt free wannabe board people there will have a better idea of your options on the debt side.

Lil_Me_2

On the happier side I was 10 when my little sister was born (also have an older sister) and I am incredibly close to her. More so than the older one who I don't really get on with. It did mean that when I moved out aged 18 my little sister got my bigger room and has basically been treated like an only child so there were some perks to the age gap for her. Can't really advise on the housing side of things, but don't be put off by other people who don't get on with their siblings, it really could go either way!

Detroit

I wouldn't even consider a loft conversion. There's no point throwing more money into the house; and, assuming you don't have the cash, you would need to borrow for this, and just be adding to your mortgage issues.

If the only viable option would be for the adults to sleep in the living room, it might be an idea to Google some small space living suggestions for some ideas of how this could look/work; or go to Ikea for inspiration. See if there's a way of doing this you could live with.

Is adding a conservatory to increase your downstairs space an option?

Can't comment on whether it's a good idea to have another child, it's such a personal decision, and other people's experience of only children or siblings won't be yours.

All I can say is that financial circumstances can change for the better and worse many times during a lifetime, but you're coming to a point where your decision as to family size will be permanent.

For this reason, in your position, I'd base having a second child on whether you want one, rather than let your current housing situation make the decision for you.

barbiedoll

From the sibling point of view, my brother was almost 8 and I was 10 when our little sister was born. Although I loved my baby sis, I had much more important things going on in my life (boys, music, make-up etc) so by the time she was 4 or so, she was just a nuisance to me! But my brother never got bored with her, they were very close growing up (we're all close now and get on well) and they had a much better relationship with each other than either of them did with me.

In my experience, boys love babies. I work in midwifery and I don't think I've ever met a boy of any age who has not been completely infatuated with their baby sibling.

As for the space issues....does anyone ever have enough space (or money come to that) to actually accommodate their family? I've met families with 4 kids living in two-bedroomed flats. I've met two sisters with two kids each all living together in a one-bedroomed place. No-one has ever said that they regret having their kids, although they all wish they had more money!

(You mentioned PND with your last pregnancy. Please know that there is much more help and information out there now and midwives, GP's and health visitors are a lot more sensitive to this issue than they may possibly have been 10 years ago)

Sambella

If you went for a sofa bed option it would mean with one single bed in what is now your bedroom could free up some space for a family wardrobe.

Baby 2 could have the box room.

This option could be a pain in the butt at times but I'm sure you could quickly adapt.

I do like that ikea bed solution but I don't think it's fair on the 10 year old. He won't be able to turn the light on when he goes to bed for fear of waking the baby etc

If you are in NI the house prices may never reach their boom price again so overpaying your mortgage might be a sensible option for the future. Small overpayments can make a difference too.

A sun room rather than a conservatory might be a good idea too but you may still have issues with the pipes?

Sambella

As an aside my sister and I shared a box room. My Dad had to shorten the bunk beds to get them in. The door hit the bed when opened and the only other item of furniture was a set of drawers. Sound much like your box room.

Bogof_Babe

How would you fit the baby's cot in your bedroom if it is as cramped already as it sounds? Not even room for a wardrobe, which would have a smaller footprint than a cot.

ska_lover

This is getting more worrying. I posted a 'no vote' earlier on - However since my previous post another worry has come up, a very serious worry


You are prone to PND - this could well come back to bite you on the bottom. Yet this time, your living circumstances will be far from ideal - a too small house, finances that are out of control.. Post Natal Depression is a very serious condition and do not under estimate the effects on yourself, and your relationships with your family - it is a lot to go through for yourself and EVERYONE that is close to you. Mental health issues don't just effect the sufferer, they effect the entire family and put them under immense stress


Sorry if it has already been asked, but what does your husband feel about all this?


I would say, Having another child when you are in a situation such as yours makes no logical sense honey. Sorry but I really cannot see it ending in a fairy tale

Beckyy

Unless your current lender gave you consent to let, you wouldn't have enough equity to switch to a BTL mortgage. It would also require (usually) a minimum income, possibly for you to own another property, and is way more work and expense than it initially seems. I would steer clear of that idea if your rent would depend on it.

I also agree with OPing your mortgage if you can.