Housing issue and considering a second child

clairec79

My youngest was in our room for about 2 years (can't remember exactly but the smallest bedroom is small wouldn't have fitted a bed and a cot so he stayed in our room until he was out of a cot and into a bed)

I've known others have a child in their room for longer

ska_lover

It is more the age of your child that worries me. He is ten. He will have nothing in common with the new baby, as will be at a completely different stage in life. He would be 11 by the time the baby arrives. A teenager by the time the baby is 2. (assuming you cop out immediately)


Then sleeping arrangement wise you are going to either have to give up your bedroom, or expect a teenager to share with a toddler? Not fair on the teenager, no night time reading or watching TV like...ever...as will wake the little one up


Sorry hun, I vote no x

ska_lover

BrassicWoman wrote: »

I don't like my sibling at all. Don't assume it'll be welcome company....

..................Snap.

JP08

No help to the OP, but it's amazing how times have changed.

In the terrace of bog standard two up, two downs my old house is in, within living memory (ie post 1930), one of the houses had four adults and 7 kids living there. Must have bunked some of them down in the outhouse (coal store / outside loo and copper).

onlyroz

Time is not on your side regarding your fertility.


Are you in a position to overpay your mortgage so that you can be in positive equity by the time that you'd need to upsize your house? You've probably got at least a 2-year window, even if you got pregnant immediately.

noodledoodle78

Thank you for all your opinions and advice this far.

The idea of a loft conversion is a no go. It's something we looked at previously but by doing so we would lose the little box room as this would be used for the stairs/steps and because of the slope of the roof and position of water tank, we wouldn't actually be gaining much in the way of space.

One of the other ideas was to rent our house out and rent somewhere bigger. Rent for our house would be around £450 per month (Mortgage is currently £730 so we would have to subsidise this). My worry here would be if we had a tenant and they didn't pay the rent. We could cope for a few months, but it would take some considerable time to evict them. I'm just thinking worse case scenario.

It sounds like I am making a lot of excuses. Maybe I am. Maybe some are justified and others aren't. What worries me more is that in a couple of years I simply wont have the option to have another child and I don't want to then think that I've missed out and could have coped.

At the moment my son would love the idea of having a sibling. But when reality sets in he might not be that fond of the idea. I spent the first few years of my life wishing for a sister, and when I eventually had two sisters, I spent the next thirty years wishing i was an only child!
I don't have a lot or any extended family around me other than my parents. My sisters now live on the other side of the world and it just also worries me that my son doesn't really have an extended network of family in the event that something happens to me or my husband.

I suffered from post natal depression too after the birth of my son and didn't seek any help for it. It was crippling to say the least and a really bad period iin my life. That coupled with money worrries due to full time child care and then my husband being made redundant at the time was not a happy time for me. We are much more settled now financially and my parents have retired and help out with the childcare for my son and I am sure would be happy to provide some support either a day or two a week to ease the burden of costs.

Apologies again for the rambling, I'm finding it really hard forming a decision one way or the other as both seem to have major pros and cons. My husband is more relaxed and thinks we shoud just go for it!

Noodle xx

Tammykitty

What exact size is the box room? I have a 7ft by 10ft room and have a double bed in it - could you and OH potentially move into the box room, with a small double (4 foot bed)


Then what size is your own room - consider potential solutions for dividing the room, even if its only a curtain, would give both children privacy

tea_lover

Have you also looked at your current finances and made sure that you're on the best rates for everything, claiming everything you can etc?

A mortgage of £730 on a £60k house seems huge (as does the negative equity of £65k) - but obviously I have no idea about the housing market in your area!

You may be able to get a better mortgage rate, which could help you pay things off quicker.

[Deleted User]

How sure are you about the bunk-beds? They don't normally take up more space than a 'regular' bed.

edit: Apparently the solution is to get a 'loft bed' and put a cot underneath it - http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/products/childrens-ikea-products/children-8-12/childrens-beds-8-12/tuffing-loft-bed-frame-art-90299449/

eg:

My mother-in-law has a 19 year age gap with her older sister - who 'co-raised' her with her mum.

noodledoodle78

Tammykitty wrote: »

What exact size is the box room? I have a 7ft by 10ft room and have a double bed in it - could you and OH potentially move into the box room, with a small double (4 foot bed)


Then what size is your own room - consider potential solutions for dividing the room, even if its only a curtain, would give both children privacy

We have a midi sleeper bed in his room and when you open the door it hits the side of the bed. There is a small space at the bottom of his bed where we have a chest of drawers.

In our bedroom we have our double bed and a small bedside cabinet either side. There is space to walk around the bed but no space for drawers or a wardrobe. There is a door to a hotpress in our bedroom and we use the shelves to store our clothing etc. We don't have space for a wardrobe in the house!