Money Moral Dilemma: Should I leave my inheritance to just my daughter?

Melancholie

Whatever you decide, just make sure your children know and understand the decision.

I'm my father's only child but my mother has children from a previous marriage. As executor of both their wills, I was given Dad's will on his death. He'd left everything to Mum, but if she predeceased him then 50% of his estate would go to me and the other 50% would be split between his step-children.

Mum has since made a new will to recognise her new partner and, as I'm still her executor, she has given me a copy. She has left her proportions as they were before Dad's death - an equal split between the three of us. She has never explained to me why she chose not to honour Dad's wishes regarding his share and I don't feel like it's something I can ask about without sounding mercenary.

So, from the point of view of the child, just make sure it's all explained.

DigForVictory

+1 for do what you want, but ye gods let All the children know, well in advance.
Hopefully, they'll all be civilised & encourage you to take up champagne, cruises, dancing on the table & whatever else you want to get up to (in addition to your current leisure activities) rather than grouse!

So long as they know, then their grief at your ultimate departure will be at the loss of *you*, not sundry hopes.

janiebquick

It's your money and you can leave it to whoever you want. No-one has a right to expect anything.

Jurassic_spark_2

My wife and myself have been married for half a century.

We have worked our fingers to the bone to give our family the best quality of life we could possibly give. We paid £50k to get them through uni. We paid £30k for the weddings. We have helped them out financially on numerous occasions.

I feel that we deserve to enjoy the remaining years of our lives together as a couple, and not worry about who will blow it all. So we are thinking about giving what little will be left to our three grandsons.

jackieblack

Barryfan wrote: »

My husband and I have both been married before. He has three children, I have two from our previous marriages. Our estate is made up of a house plus savings. Our wills state that if one of us dies first then the other one gets the whole estate. When we have both died the estate is divided equally between the five children. My husband and I have never differentiated between "his" and "my" children (they were all adults when we first got together). We have never considered what (if anything) the children would receive from their other parent. We have made my step-son and my oldest daughter our executors so both half of the families are involved. We have told both of them so they are aware. Previous posters are right - you cannot rely on people "doing the right thing" when money is involved!

So what happens if you die first, leaving everything to your husband, and your husband later changes his will leaving everything to just his own children.
I know of more than one instance where this has happened.
As you say, you cannot rely on people "doing the right thing" when money is involved!

youth_leader

My husband has recently died and we met his son (aged 40) from his first marriage for the first time at his funeral. He is married with two children.

Our two children are in their twenties and in full time education. My stepson is keen to build a relationship with his half brother and sister.

I am executor of my husband's will, and intend making a new will in the future, how I'll split the 'estate' is perplexing me.

sueper

My parents both died very suddenly and unexpectedly within months of each other.
Their estate was split equally between my sister and myself despite her being significantly better off financially. My half went on my children's education while hers was invested in property leading to further wealth...
Life is not equal or fair

Newly_retired

My husband and I each have two children from previous marriages, and none together. We own the house as tenants in common, so each of us has left their share to their own children, but with the surviving spouse to have a life interest so as to be able to remain in the property.
As far as other assets are concerned, mine go to my children and grandchildren, and his to his.
That is, if there is anything left after we have spent whatever we want or need to, including any care costs which may arise. That is not something we can predict.
I inherited a decent sum from my parents ( totally unexpectedly as they lived very frugally, but had a house and insurances ) and I would certainly hope to pass this on to my children and grandchildren.
But everyone' circumstances are different and it is nobody else's business. I certainly would not discuss it beforehand with the children, though maybe tell them what you have decided, depending on age and circumstances.

JP08

My mother and stepfather's will currently (who knows what the future will be) splits everything equally between me, my younger sister, and my two half sisters. But then my stepfather has been "dad" since I was 7. I know this because they discussed this very same dilemma with all four of us and explained their reasons why they felt this was the fair action.

My father (who I get on pretty well with, but really in a "favourite uncle" sort of relationship) also remarried, so I have two older stepsisters too. What arrangements (if any) he has made I don't know. I suspect, to be honest, that given the travails of both stepsisters' lives, there is little to be left even if he's so inclined.

One thing I am absolutely sure of, given as current circumstances - don't worry, nothing unpleasant, more of an "opportunity"- are making me consider future retirement plans very carefully, I'm certainly not "banking" on receiving anything from anyone ...

I think this one really depends on how close the relationship with both sets of parents is. But gut feel is that my mum/stepfather made the right call in their circumstances - treat us all equally and don't try to second guess the third party.

Ilona

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Why tell people what you've decided?

It's shocking that people expect to inherit. It's a gift, not a right.

I agree with this entirely. It's nobody's business except your own. Do as you think fit, you won't be here to see the consequences. Better still, spend it all before you go. Leave them a small gift if you must.

Ilona