Father asking for money for a favour done

FBaby

I don't think you understand trading standards at all. If you employ someone to do a job and then do 90% of it but then leave the 10% unfinished, unless you can evidence that that 10% undone means yoy chr benefit from the 90% the trade person can certainly sue yoy for 90% of the payments.

We don't know how your family operates so can't comment on whether you should have paid your dad or not. My dad has done a lot on my house when I was a single mum and payment never cane into i5 because that's the way our family operates but even then if my dad had spent all his spare time for weeks helping out I would have certain made it a priority to give him that gesture of goodwill payment and would certainly not have left it that long let alone looked at spending more on my house before doing so.

moneyistooshorttomention

I'm shocked too at a father even thinking of charging one of his (adult) children for work.

That's what parents do isnt it?

I doubt things can ever quite get back to normal again between you after that? But perhaps the best you can do is to say to him quite clearly that that is something fathers would definitely not charge for normally and make it very plain you hadnt expected a bill from him and are very disappointed at this.

Followed by - if he insists - then present him with a return bill for meals given/bed and board/time off work being "sociable"/etc - absolutely everything you wouldnt have given a normal workman in fact. Also tell him - as he is charging as a normal workman - then you would need him to put right his mistakes and you estimate that would take him x hours and £y to do.

Deduct both those sums from his bill to you and see what the end result comes to. Chances are it will leave you owing him very little and might even leave him owing you.

Obviously don't ever accept favours from him ever again - in case they turn out not to be favours.

I doubt you will ever forget this what amounts to betrayal of the normal parent/child relationship. He doesnt seem to have much grasp of how to function in such a relationship.

Is this the first time he has treated you pretty much as a stranger/business customer - rather than as a daughter?

Detroit

You asked what you should do, and how much to pay.

The answer depends on how much you value your relationship with your father.

I agree that this invoice sent so long after the work is likely a gesture of anger designed to show you how offended he is that you agreed to pay him something (and you DID say this clearly in your post) yet failed to do so.

He probably waited thinking you may be unable to afford it, but on hearing you planned more spending without paying him, saw red.

The majority of people on here can see his point.

If you can also see his point, then the easiest way to resolve this is to pay what is asked with good grace, and an apology for the delay.

On the other hand, if you feel he is wrong, you have three options:

1.Refuse to pay, explaining you thought he should have helped you for nothing, as that's what family's do.

2.Offer what you feel the job is worth, explaining this is because the work is of poor standard

3. Pay what he asks, even though you don't want to.

The risks of the first and second are serious damage to your relationship with your father.

The risk of the third is you will feel resentment towards him.

Only you can decide which is right for you.

maman

Detroit wrote: »

I agree that this invoice sent so long after the work is likely a gesture of anger designed to show you how offended he is that you agreed to pay him something (and you DID say this clearly in your post) yet failed to do so.

He probably waited thinking you may be unable to afford it, but on hearing you planned more spending without paying him, saw red.

If you look at the original post it's ambiguous. OP has posted since to explain that she and her OH discussed privately giving her father something as a thank you but didn't say anything to her father directly.
I think there will be a feeling of resentment whatever happens but I think haggling over the price, charging for board or criticising his work would make it even harder to continue a semblance of a relationship. IMO that's just tit for tat bickering.

Mojisola

Ryiah wrote: »

When he finished, he asked us if we were paying him or not, we said we hadn't intended to but we'll give something.

We never gave anything yet as we were having money issues, but still intend to.

Our relationship took a downslide after he asked for payment last year.

maman wrote: »

If you look at the original post it's ambiguous. OP has posted since to explain that she and her OH discussed privately giving her father something as a thank you but didn't say anything to her father directly.

Post 21 - quoted - sounds as if they've been saying they will pay him 'something' ever since the work was done.

If they've used the excuse of 'money issues' not to pay him but have managed to save enough to pay for the new utility room, I can understand that he isn't happy.

InA

Lesson 1: Don't expect to get anything for free, you will pay for it at some point down the line. Even if your father had done the work for free and you'd paid him the fraction of the amount he expected, he may have been offended by the fact that you placed such a low value on the work he did.

Likewise friends / family members who are often relied on for free favours will usually come resent the fact and may eventually feel that they are taken for granted. So this also has its own payback in the end.

Lesson 2: Don't mix friendship / relationships and money.

On this occasion, I would pay up to keep the peace, but be wary (and upfront about payment expectations) next time anyone offers to do you a "favour".