Please help - in debt and ashamed

(Land_of)_Maz

:footie: Oh and dare i ask which football team you are a season ticket holder for?

jintyb

Having read your posts, can I say, please dont feel ashamed. I would advise NOT taking out any more debt or secured loans. Make a decision to draw a line in the sand and resolve to get out of the debt trap. Call the CCCS or have a look on their website. I did, back in July,and have worked out a DMP, chopped up all cards (obviously) and feel strangely liberated. It was the best thing I have done in a long time as I feel that I am finally facing up to reality and dealing with the financial mess I was left with after a messy divorce and reckless spending " to make myself feel better".The CCCS are terrific, totally nonjudgemental and really helpful. I cannot recommend then highly enough. I used to slap everything on CC, but now I really think about what I spend my money on. I feel in control, even though I dont have much to throw around! My partner was totally supportive and although theres not much in the pot for social/going out, we still do it!
Dont despair, there is life once you get rid of the CC's, it can be challenging but once realise that you are not alone, yu will be able to sleep at night!

Hope this helps......

Jintyb

Total debts £87000 at july 07 , currently £86644:eek:

findingmyownway

Welcome to the board.

Your first post says you are coming here for reassurance that all is not lost - well i assure you now it is not. You have a roof over your head and a supportive girlfriend.

HOWEVER - the time is now to take some action. No-one can do it for you. You will get all the support, encouragement and advice you could possibly need from the members of this online community, but noone can make the tough decisions for you.

Living by balance transfering credit cards is not sustainable. If you continue, things are going to get much worse - that is the point at which your house becomes ‘at risk’ when you can no longer afford to pay the mortgage/bills etc. Its easy to say you can afford the bills now and thats not part of the problem, but it really is - every penny that goes in and out of your bank account needs to be made to work FOR you not against you.

I must echo other posters advice – a ‘statement of affairs’ (SOA) would really help people to help you. If we know how much you earn and how much mortgage/gas/internet/blah blah payments are we can help you identify areas where you can save money and make inroads into the debt.

Also, if you tell us what the debts are with %APRs then we can see which you should be concentrating on paying off first, to save you the most money in interest. Have a look at the post by southernscouser for 1st time debt-free wannabees.

Your questions about ‘having a life’ concern me. Yes of course you can, but some sacrifices have to be made. Also i must agree with the other posters who have said a consolidation loan is a bad bad bad idea. For some people it works but i doubt you would be one of them. You need to treat the 'disease' of debt and why it has happened to you - not just the 'symptom' of immediate crisis. I would lay money on the fact that if you consolidate now, without going through the process of making an SOA and cutting back your spending, you will run those credit cards back up within a few years and be back to this situation with the loan payments to make on top.

Good luck with the path you decide, i hope you decide to stick around here, post an SOA and let us help you beat the debt for good.

Jacks_xxx

Maz3374 wrote: »

That Jacks is so bossy! But she is very very good!!!

:wave: Cheers sweetie-pie!

I do like to put my status as an experienced debtor of some 20 years standing, to some good use.

Plus I wish somebody had kicked my @rse, and talked some sense into me so I try and do that for other people a little bit.

And believe it or not, I really try not to be too bossy!

But I can't help it.

I have a whip - and I know how to crack it! :dance:

Love Jacks xxx

findingmyownway

bump


hows it going??

debtman2007

findingmyownway wrote: »

bump


hows it going??

No very well, im such aprat for burying my head in the sand. Its all coming to a head now. I really REALLY to contact CCCS, i dont know what else to do.

GreyPilgrim

You can't change the fact you've had you're head buried in the sand so don't kick yourself about it. Feel good that it's no longer in there. YOU WANT TO GET THIS SORTED AND YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Thats the hardest bit. It's going to be hard, and stressful, and sometimes depressing - this shock is the kick up the ar*e you need. Those feelings will pass once you get your head down and start organising and attacking these debts.

Get you're SOA posted as soon as you can, and give us something to work with mate.

GP

chevalier

Then don't wait. Phone CCCS or Payplan TODAY. I notice you are still online, so I hope you read this now. There is still plenty of time to phone either of these two free companies today. What have you got to lose? The stress, the sleeplessness, the gut wrenching felling in your stomach? Losing any of these sounds like a good bet to me.

And one other thing, right now is a good time to call and start a DMP moving. Why because after Christmas these organisations will be swamped by people for whom paying for Christmas was the straw the broke the camels back, and they now need to sort out their finances. So phoning now means that it will be sorted sooner.

Wouldn't it be nice to know that this Christmas if not exactly comfortable (doing a DMP is not easy), will at least be less stressful, because you will have taken control of your debts, rather than your debts controlling you.

good luck
chev

debtman2007

should i phone or use the website?? i dread to think what they will say to me.

jay_clock

Just observing from the sidelines....

a little reality. You appear have a Sky TV package... around £40 at a guess. A football season ticket (perhaps £500) which from next year you can choose not to renew.

Those two cost £980 per year, over 6% of your take-home pay.

Can you not consider dumping both these and perhaps getting out for a walk or run at these times? That will leave you over £80 a mth to put straight into the CCs?

Good luck