Please help - in debt and ashamed

jamesd

Does your partner have savings in their own name? Depending on how you handle finances lending you the money at half the difference between your credit card rates and the existing saving rate might be useful - more interest for your partner, less interest paid by you.

silkglade

Hi honey and welcome.

Yes you can still do those things, the nack is to budget for them, then there is no reason to feel guilty.

Get your soa on here and watch as people work their magic in cutting your regular costs.

I think your brave to have faced this. WELL DONE

I do not think your an idiot, look how many of us there are :rotfl:

You have decided to make the move to becoming debt free but your still able to cope. so well done you.

debtman2007

floss2 wrote: »

The answer is yes, but within reason.

You may have to cut things down to get on top of the debts, but there's lots of things you can do that are cheap!

Understood, although we dont actually do much to cut down on

debtman2007

jamesd wrote: »

Does your partner have savings in their own name? Depending on how you handle finances lending you the money at half the difference between your credit card rates and the existing saving rate might be useful - more interest for your partner, less interest paid by you.

No, we have no savings at all.

floss2

Pull all your info together & post your SOA, then we can help trim the edges of your budget & get you on the DFW road (along with most people on here - it's a very busy road!)

trying-very-trying

Hi DM. If you do go to cccs, they will need to know how much you contribute towards household bills, so that they can work out a dmp. Your debts alone will be considered for inclusion in any dmp, and I am told it should not affect your partners credit rating at all. HTH

duchy

You THINK you have nowhere to cut back
Here's a few-hard to be specific without an SOA so here's some general ones
Mobile contracts-most people pay too much and can get a better deal either from their existing provider or a new one
Food shopping bill-amazing how much food we chuck away unused and how much the takeaways cost.
Football-considered working for them instead of paying them ? Most clubs need Stewards-the pay is rubbish but you get to see the matches (or most of a match) and are making a little rather than paying a lot. Might justify keeping football and it's a whole different perspective and fun.
Gas & Electric Is your supplier the cheapest or is another offering a better deal-there's a whole forum addressing this topic
Cable/Sky There's a new provider who offers a much cheaper option than Sky Sports (I'm assuming you might have this after your footie comments) and I saved £40 a month simply by ringing Virgin and telling them i was considering moving to Sky (and that was the medium package not the movies or sport one)
Internet-Is this the best deal -is it packaged in with your phone or TV or is it a seperate account ?
Work expenses-Can't do much about petrol but what about lunches-do you bring sandwiches or buy lunch ? It's honestly quite frightening how much you can spend on lunches, cans of drink and the like.
Insurances-car/home etc Take a look at Quidco and when renewal time comes see if you can get a good price from one of their companies and get a cashback too

Sounds like you don't want to tell your partner how bad things have got but if she's likely to be supportive telling her might help you clear the debt quicker as you'll both be working on keeping to budget.

There aren't any easy answers but there's a wealth of ideas that will help and amazing support on here !

sammiboo

Hi there Debtman

I know working out how you pay for things and how much you owe is scary, but it really doesnt work to bury your head in the sand, it just makes things worse - been there done that

When you do your SOA put everything down, what rates of interest you pay etc.

A year ago in march I was over 15k in debt (my own debt) and it was increasing. In 18 months I have totally changed my finances and the way i think about money and I am currently below 9k in debt.

I am sure there will be plenty of advice we can give you on how you can cut back and improve your finances.

With regards not having a life due to paying off debt. You can still have a good life but be aware of what you are spending. Cheap days out etc.

Its not all doom and gloom.

My partner and I often go out for drives and stop somewhere for a coffee and maybe a cheap lunch and that does take the day up and we do enjoy ourselves.

Oh and we still go our for meals etc, just not as often as we used to. Just as a treat now and again

Lucy1982_2

Just wanted to say Hi and welcome, while it IS really hard, butting up your SOA will help, if nothing else it will tell you what really goes out of your account. Once you know that you can start looking around for cheaper deals and start using the cashback sites to earn some money on your savings.

Good luck and always remember you are never alone x

chevalier

Hi there and welcome to DFW! We are all here to help you. But the best support you can get is from your OH. They will have benefitted from what you have accrued on your credit cards, so they need to know what the score is. I am sure they will be fine about though a bit shocked!

Good luck with the SOA
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