Dilema....Would you do this?

PlymouthMaid

Well good on you (I mean that seriously assuming all you posted was true) - I hope you are very happy and the children keep in touch too,

Mojisola

Lucy1956 wrote: »

we married and my two step children have been the two children I knew I could never have..I have never ever had any problems in bringing them up

to all intents and purposes I am there mom and love them both equally as if I had given birth to them. and they both return my loves in millions of ways everyday.

There's a good chance that the kids will stay in more contact with you than their father.

One of my relatives got together with a man who had three step-children living with him. When their mother walked out, they were completely fed up with her and didn't want to leave the man who had been a better parent to them than either of their blood relations. They were of an age to make up their own minds and she was happy to start up with a new man without the bother of kids to look after!

ukjoel

I am loving this girl......

So bored of the I have been cheated on posts and so nice to see someone who has been given lemons make some lemonade (and in such an articulate and calculated way.)

If I wasn't already married I would be heading down to the coast fastish.....

Cant wait to see the next part......

Detroit

Ok, even taking this, to my mind, highly unlikely, scenario at face value, are people really supporting the OPs decision to leave her husband, tell his kids he's having an affair, and wreak financial havoc on the basis of her husband's best friends say so, plus overhearing the guy moving money from one bank account to another?

The OP hasn't even spoken to her husband yet, much less found any conclusive evidence of a supposed 5 year affair.

Yet she's apparently rushed off, rented a property, which as we've established, could only have done in the time frame with huge financial outlay, and told his two children something hugely damaging and upsetting, without any prior discussion with their father.

How about the friend is lying or mistaken? The OP is glad of the chance to end the marriage, but it's a bit early to involve his children.

The only problem prior to the big reveal two days ago, was that the husband was mean and miserable and didn't support his kids as they OP thought he should.
Yet the man brought up them up alone before meeting the OP.

The OP greets the end of her marriage with no sadness, but with an attitude that really doesn't reflect well on her. Shallow at best, malicious at worst.

The whole story is a nonsense in my opinion, which I think is for the best, as the OP, far from being an excellent role model, has actually been irresponsible, hasty and vindictive, without even taking the trouble to get the facts.

If she is real and has been cheated on, I'm sorry for her, but so far see nothing in the post I admire.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

swingaloo wrote: »

Agree with Detroit on this.

Does not ring true in that timescale. Anyone would need a couple of days to come to terms with the news even if there was no love left in the relationship.

Managed to get a property and furnish it right down to teaspoons. Whats wrong with taking some from the marital home and splitting the crockery etc?

Also managed in 2 days to spring the news on 2 kids who dont live at home and make all these momentous decisions.

All a bit odd.

Dunno. If I'd have had the financial freedom to make the move, had I received such news about my ex, I would have been gone in the time it took to book a cab. And I wouldn't have wanted to take a single thing from there with me.

Detroit

:beer:

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Dunno. If I'd have had the financial freedom to make the move, had I received such news about my ex, I would have been gone in the time it took to book a cab. And I wouldn't have wanted to take a single thing from there with me.

Would you have accepted his friends word for it though, without proof after presumably suspecting nothing for five years?
And involved his kids without any conversation with him?

kimplus8

Good, I hope the cheating, lying scumbag is feeling the pinch!

Pollycat

kimplus8 wrote: »

Good, I hope the cheating, lying scumbag is feeling the pinch!

Me too.
If he exists.....:whistle:

FBaby

kimplus8 wrote: »

Good, I hope the cheating, lying scumbag is feeling the pinch!

Then again, he might have a story to tell too. Maybe his being miserable has something to do with his calculated minded wife?


I really don't see the point of this post but to boast arrogantly about how cleverly revengeful they have been. I agree with Detroit, when you have been betrayed, it is natural to seek revenge as a way to give you the strength to move on successfully, however, to post on a forum with the clear intention to read the praise from strangers to me sounds very shallow and instead of make me want to say 'well done for you, you should be proud of yourself', makes me wonder what lead the husband to go and have an affair.

Maybe he was indeed a horrible person, and his children turning against him would be evidence of that, maybe not, but really wonder what you got OP from posting all this here. Your title is dilemma and whether you would do this, but your actual post shows absolutely no doubt about your actions but more of a mean to seek gratification from praises.

AylesburyDuck

Detroit wrote: »

Not only made life changing decisions, but implemented them too!

The OP found out about the cheating on Thursday, and by mid day Saturday has secured a tenancy in a seaside property, presumably being fast tracked through the referencing process, chosen and ordered all the furniture, presumably after visiting said new home, measuring up etc, ordered her first weeks food shop, booked London theatre tickets and a restaurant, sorted out her finances, and had a new haircut.

I have to say the timeframe for achieving all the above casts doubt for me on the authenticity of the post.

I have to book at least a week in advance to get my hair cut.

Depending on how long you have lurked for, sometimes entertaining threads like these do crop up, some believe, some dont. All probably enjoy .....
Have a read of this old entertaining thread.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2943078