Love Partner to bits,more than anything else, but not sexually compatiable

awolo1

Hi
Firstly I am with somebody and have been for 1.5 years. Probably one of the longest relationships I've ever had. I love him, however - when it comes to between the sheets - we aren't compatible.

He wants to do things I just don't like. What's odd is that although he wants to do things that most people would consider normal (we're !!!!!exual), I'm not comfortable with one thing in particular

I am very open minded and would like to invite other people to have fun with, there would no feelings to them, but he could get what he wants and I could get what I want, between the three of us.

How we get to that is a different matter, but essentially, it could work for me and I'd be happy with that compromise.

Is that wrong - do people disagree? We're engaged and want to get married one way.

I've brought it up with him in the past and he has never given me a straight forward answer. He said he would think about it once., that was six months ago



Help needed! We are not having 0/no sex at all and this probably sounds horrid - but I'm desperate.

Thanks

pickledonionspaceraider

Difficult one - so you don't want to do some things but offer a compromise - unless you totally go back on your own feelings then there is nothing more you can do


How big an issue do you think thi sis now and how big an issue in the future

awolo1

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Difficult one - so you don't want to do some things but offer a compromise - unless you totally go back on your own feelings then there is nothing more you can do


How big an issue do you think thi sis now and how big an issue in the future

He is extremely stubborn but he is also wrapped around my little finger, not intentional AT ALL, but its happened to become like that as a result of many things happening, and I have continued to support him.

He knows he is safe with me for the rest of his life.

But sexually : we don't click. I don't need sex with him to be happy. We've survived without it for nearly 18 months now.

I worry about igniting the conversation with him ,,,,I suppose I am seeking guidance on the best way to approach this as I am scared of broaching it seriously.

missbiggles1

Have I understood properly? You love him to bits, haven't had sex for 18 months but are happy to have a threesome?

awolo1

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Have I understood properly? You love him to bits, haven't had sex for 18 months but are happy to have a threesome?

love doesnt mean you need to have sex but yes.

Lambyr

If you're both genuinely okay with third parties being involved in your relationship then there is nothing wrong with that. Your relationship is your relationship.

But you say you're worried about broaching the subject. The fact he hasn't given you a straightforward answer would lead me to believe that he's probably not that keen on the idea.

I suppose another thing is how important this particular thing is to him? My girlfriend and I both have our little kinks and there are certain things I like that she doesn't, and vice versa. What I like is something I can do without, and from what I know the same applies in reverse. Is the thing you're uncomfortable with that important to him?

You do say you've survived without it for 18 months, so could this be more a case of you feeling that he's missing out by being with you?

It's an old one but communication is key and I think communication can lead to better sex, and if he does just want you without a third party then maybe you just need to try and work on communicating more?

Mojisola

awolo1 wrote: »

Hi
Firstly I am with somebody and have been for 1.5 years. Probably one of the longest relationships I've ever had. I love him, however - when it comes to between the sheets - we aren't compatible.

Is that wrong - do people disagree? We're engaged and want to get married one way.

Help needed! We are not having 0/no sex at all and this probably sounds horrid - but I'm desperate.

awolo1 wrote: »

I don't need sex with him to be happy. We've survived without it for nearly 18 months now.

So you want sex - just not with him?

And you're planning to get married?

missbiggles1

awolo1 wrote: »

love doesnt mean you need to have sex but yes.

Of course it doesn't. I was just puzzled as to why would you fancy him more if somebody else was involved.

Detroit

I don't understand why him liking one thing that you don't means you haven't done anything at all for 18 months. Surely there's other things you both like?

Peter333

awolo1 wrote: »

Hi
Firstly I am with somebody and have been for 1.5 years. Probably one of the longest relationships I've ever had. I love him, however - when it comes to between the sheets - we aren't compatible.

He wants to do things I just don't like. What's odd is that although he wants to do things that most people would consider normal (we're !!!!!exual), I'm not comfortable with one thing in particular

I am very open minded and would like to invite other people to have fun with, there would no feelings to them, but he could get what he wants and I could get what I want, between the three of us.

How we get to that is a different matter, but essentially, it could work for me and I'd be happy with that compromise.

Is that wrong - do people disagree? We're engaged and want to get married one way.

I've brought it up with him in the past and he has never given me a straight forward answer. He said he would think about it once., that was six months ago

Help needed! We are not having 0/no sex at all and this probably sounds horrid - but I'm desperate.

Thanks

Not a lot to say about it really, except you're deluded if you think bringing a third person in won't result in feelings developing.

Threesomes/swinging often only goes one way....... Basically, it will probably end your relationship. SOMEone will end up getting hurt.

Your partner clearly doesn't want to do it, and that's probably why you're having 'issues.' Personally, I would be devastated if my wife suggested a threesome. The marriage would probably on the rocks with that suggestion alone.

fuzzyduck22

You've been together 1.5 years but haven't had sex in 18 months...???? How do you know you aren't compatible?