I want to stop drowning

sweetpea26

I understand Debtagh. Try to limit time with them. Your self esteem rises as you make decisions to protect you and your family. We have to remember our worth. Your children are watching how you deal with money. I know that now but didnt think about it when they were smaller. Be honest with them when they may ask for something. Say we as a family are making choices now that will benefit us all in the years to come. This will help them feel more secure and stable.

Things dont make you happy...it takes a while to realise it ...oh I wish I had half the sense that I have now when I was in my thirties

I think the signature is a good idea..now penny by penny watch it reduce. Have you much you can sell?

I used to read Frugal Queen she no longer has a blog but what I thought her idea of carrying no cash or cards when she went to work was a very good idea. Do you read blogs? There are some amazing people who literally live on very little and have paid off large debts.

You are not on your own. You are not the first person to fall into debt but you are the only one that can fix your situation. Nothing is impossible..

debtaghh

I have tried to limit my time around certain fam members.

Yes, I love blogs, I find them really interesting.

Unfortunately we don't have much to sell but I have a few bits listed on eBay at the minute.

Now that I have my new plan I feel really encouraged to not spend as I would like to save the money to ensure I can afford to save each month. I think I was so trapped in a battle with what I should do - save it or clear debt that it was getting too much. My plan feels a lot clearer as I have allocated in my outgoings spreadsheet a section for savings. If miraculously, I manage to cover all my outgoings including the savings plus have spare money then I will use anything left over towards extra debt repayments. We have no council tax to pay in Feb and March so I'm hoping that will help us a bit.

sweetpea26

That is good progress.. we get overwhelmed panic and think we can't beat it but when you start seeing that you can it is incredibly empowering. Look at your home finances like you would a little business. Account for every single penny. Get joy from saving pennies that add up to pounds ....chip away a day at a time ... reduce your spending to the bone.

Its amazingly satisfying to watch a debt total fall even at a drip drip rate...it makes you feel in control. So many people on this blog here to support you Debtagh.

I buy rice now in large 5 or 10 kg bags rather in supermarket standard sizes. I have saved so much money by doing that. Also if you are cooking a meal see if you can stretch it out to make a portion you can freeze. All these little freezer meals add up and some evening when you are shattered..out comes the collection of freezer meals. I also buy frozen peppers now for topping pizza and adding to spag bol. In Iceland at present they are a £1 and I am sure in Aldi they have similar. I use a maybe a quarter of a bag for the pizza and through a handful into spag bol or other meals..so much more economical than buying fresh peppers .. Just a tip for you


Here are a few of the blogs I enjoy
My Abundant Life ...australian lady
Frugal Workshop .... Tenessee USA lady.
MORTGAGE FREE IN THREE ... lady from Scotland

some great blogs out there

take care and enjoy life Debtagh..try not to worry...

debtaghh

Thanks so much especially for the blogs!

I really like Frugalwoods blog and have signed up to the Uber frugal challenge this month. I will definitely read the ones that you have recommended.

Silver_Queen

Glad to hear you are feeling more positive debtaghh

I think the key here is to decide on a plan and stick to it.

It would be absolutely impossible for you to reduce the debt without first sorting out your monthly budget.

It's really hard to keep an eye on things when your monthly debt balance is actually increasing because of interest - most people on here have their interest frozen so their balances are a set amount that they chip away at so it can be disheartening when your balance goes up.

Just remember that every penny you pay over the interest amount is still reducing that debt. You have chosen not to go down the DMP route so it will be harder for you but you are still paying debt and it is still reducing. You just need to get your head down and focus.

Your situation is by no means easy but here's what I would do (based on what's already been said so apologies if I'm rehashing!!)

1. Work out OH's average monthly income
2. Make sure your budget is below this amount
3. Every month that OH gets paid more, save the extra for the months that he gets paid less. This might be tough to start with if he doesn't get the overtime at the start.
4. Make sure you have a buffer, you will have to decide the amount you're comfortable with, personally I would say around £1,500 which would cover 3 months of absolutely no extra income.
5. Anything more than that, use to make extra payments on debt.

The priority at the moment is to make sure that your current budget stays workable to keep a roof over your head, everyone fed and the bills paid.

I think you're very determined to pay the debt but sometimes it's resulted in you paying off too much that you can't afford, which means further borrowing, which is disheartening.

Good luck with it all, hopefully 2019 is the year you manage to kick debt's butt!

enthusiasticsaver

You have had some great advice and come up with a plan which I think sounds like a good plan. Why not try some challenges like the grocery challenge or NSDs? Get the family involved if you can so you don't feel so alone with it. Maybe put the credit card debt in your signature then just let the family debt tick on in the background. Silver queen particularly makes some good suggestions in the 5 steps above. This may not in the end avoid you going into some debt arrangement but you could look on this year as the year you turn things around and your position starts to improve. You will feel so much less stressed if you feel in control. I also would say try not to let the debt consume you because we have had many diary writers go into burn out because they cannot think of anything else. Do a plan every month or every week of spends for the week, payments which need making then forget about it (providing of course you won't go on a mad spending spree).

motivated

:hello:

Good morning to the new positive debtaghh.

It's lovely to see you back in positive mode and to know you CAN do this. We teach our students at school

"if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail"

Chin up,chest out and onwards and downwards with the debt
M

debtaghh

I will definitely do challenges. This month I'm just in my own challenge of just using vouchers for food until the 18th. With regards to nsd these should tie in nicely as I don't want to touch money in the account as it can go towards January's salary. I'm feeling very motivated... hope it lasts!

WannabeFree

Good to see you feeling happier

x

MrsSave

I really feel for you Debtaghh. I can see that you really want to get out of debt, but can also see how much you're struggling. Increasing your income would obviously be a massive plus, and hopefully you'll be able to bring in enough each month to cover all your outgoings.

I can see what you say about wanting to enjoy life, especially as this is such a long journey. We didn't give up everything on our debt free journey, but just found more frugal ways of doing things and made sure things were budgeted for. The problem I see is that you're not going to be able to do these things and pay off the debt. You need to first find a way so that each month all that basics are covered and you are paying off your debt. Once you've achieved that, then look at what income you have leftover and how about splitting it between overpaying the debt, putting a little into savings and using the rest to make your debt free journey that little bit easier.

Remember, children don't remember the stuff they have when they're growing up, their memories will be about special times together. Things that will have made them smile and laugh. Not the money spent on them. Parent guilt is such a real thing, though. I think we all suffer from it in some way or another but you must remember that spending money on them isn't what makes them happy. I'd say from what I've read here that you're an amazing mum to your children.

You just need a definite plan for 2019 for busting part of this debt. How amazing would it be to end 2019 with £5k or more less debt to pay off? How can you achieve that? What's your food budget for the month? Make sure you budget for everything for the month realistically, and then stick to it. I'd re-do your SOA (privately if you don't want to put in on here, though please remember everyone is here to help even if sometimes things can come across as harsh) and make sure you stick to that every month.