I want to stop drowning

debtaghh

Thanks for your message Mrs Save.

So me just using vouchers for food hasn't really worked that well. I have vouchers left over because you can't use them in many shops. I can't wait until pay day. The next month is going to be very expensive, I have 4 birthdays and a wedding! I will use money in the bday/Xmas savings for them.

I have a feeling this month will be tight as I don't think my dh is due much overtime in his pay

enthusiasticsaver

Can you not use the vouchers for any of the birthday presents? I can't tell you how relieved I am that DH family and mine plus all of our friends now have agreed no birthday or Xmas presents. Just having to think of my immediate family is so much easier. 6 presents throughout the year and at Xmas. I think you have broached this in the past? I think at your level of debt I would say enough is enough and you are only buying for your DH and children. Your mum and dad are not that supportive and very judgemental so they should be pleased you are looking to save money.

debtaghh

They have all asked for cash for their bdays but I might give them less and then buy a token gift with the vouchers. We do only small token gifts at Xmas .

motivated

Hi debtaghh

Just popping in to see how you're doing. Hope you are still positive and upbeat.

Birthdays come round so quickly and the token gift with vouchers is a good idea.
M

enthusiasticsaver

Are these close family members? Maybe my family are unusual but no one has ever asked me for cash for a birthday or Christmas present. I have given it and some have amazon wishlists but I think I would be inclined to give nothing if people presumed first of all I was getting them a present and then asked for cash for it. It sounds a bit entitled.

debtaghh

Thanks motivated, all ok here. I'm just plodding along. DH gets paid tomorrow so looking forward in paying the minimums.

The gifts are for close relatives and I asked what they wanted and they asked for cash towards a more expensive item.

motivated

Once you make a round of payments it gives you a boost to carry on. I find it helps me. I have a written list of everything I need to pay out on my payday and I tick them all off once paid. Any DDs that go on different dates (a few small ones) I store the money in a different account and the night before I transfer it over. I check first thing in the morning and then tick that off too. It's like playing bank account tennis with myself
M

debtaghh

motivated wrote: »

Once you make a round of payments it gives you a boost to carry on. I find it helps me. I have a written list of everything I need to pay out on my payday and I tick them all off once paid. Any DDs that go on different dates (a few small ones) I store the money in a different account and the night before I transfer it over. I check first thing in the morning and then tick that off too. It's like playing bank account tennis with myself
M

Enjoy the match

debtaghh

Hi,

I've updated my signature and I've included my very account and next and payments made. It's increased as I hadn't included the very and next but as I'll be paying towards these each month I thought to see a true reflection of how much debt I've cleared in 6 months I should include these.

Moneyfordreams

Debtaghh, I have been following your journey and wish you every success... I've commented once or twice but tend to lurk. I just wanted to say some times letting other agencies manage you debt is a major benefit to health and stress.

We were in a different position to you as we had equity in the home, but my husband inherited a business and it was failing. He kept ploughing more money into it used personal money and CC to support it. He was ill with stress. I wasn't just him he was partners with family. They had no equity so we bared the cost. The financial lost to us was around £120k. My point being is for years He kept on trying to turn things around and he/we did several times. But 6 years ago he and his partner were made bankrupt. I had seen this coming and bought him out of his share of the house. I then was then able to pay off debts linked to me... there was a shortfall and I had to ask for another remortgage as the recievers were cross with me.. But if I hadn't done it that way around we'd have all lost much more.

I work in healthcare , I vaguely remember or have guessed what you DH does, I know several nurses who have found themselves in financial difficulties. I recall 3 people with IVA's and one bankrupt after divorce. My place of work has counsellors and advisors which can point staff in the right direction. Maybe your OH could speak to a manager or even HR to ask their policy with DMP. I would be hopeful of a positive response.

Anyhow... my experience showed me debt can be a disease.. and after years of struggle and stress having my husband and our relationship back was amazing. It wasn't all roses as I had a bit of anger at gaining a massive mortgage to lose and now he only has a small income ... however you would pay anything to fix a loved one of ill health wouldn't you?