Becoming a full catholic

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

OMG. No wonder the world is a mess if we think we can buy some inanimate object off the shelf and believe in it. I lose more of what faith I had every day, but I know enough of what it means, to understand what it means.

Question. Do you believe in the holy spirit and the resurrection. If the answer is yes, go and get the right cornflake packet.

If not, just remember you came into this world simply. You will exit the same way. No one has ever come back!

mumps

Andypandyboy wrote: »

I assume you mean after they have obtained an annulment to the previous marriage?

http://www.ehow.co.uk/how_8440973_married-catholic-church-after-divorce.html

That is quite an arduous process and annulments are not granted lightly, so I doubt that it marks any modernity or progressiveness on the part of that particular parish.

No I don't mean annulment, I mean a priest who will marry people who are divorced. He would talk to people about the marriage and why it failed and if he felt it appropriate he would marry them. I think it does mark progressiveness but you are entitled to your opinion. The particular priest I am thinking of was also progressive in his thinking on birth control.

mumps

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

My sisters first marriage was in an RC church, her now ex wasn't Catholic.
I really want to get married in church, I do attend Mass and take Communion but OH's family are Northern Irish Protestant, mine are Southern Irish Catholic and he refuses to even set foot in a Catholic Church.

I think in certain circumstances you can get a dispensation to marry in a Christian church of another denomination and your priest can witness the ceremony. I'm not sure how easy this is to arrange but it might be worth talking to your parish priest. I think you have to apply to the bishop but your priest will be able to advise.

strawberries1

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

Hi all,


I'm looking for some advice please on how to continue with my path to become fully catholic.


I was baptized but I didn't follow on with holy communion or confirmation.


I've always had an interest in religion but I have a habit of asking too many questions and thought I shouldn't explore too much.


I am engaged and my fianc! is catholic. He is from a rather religious Italian family and we wish to wed in a church in Italy.


We are not getting married until 2018 but I wanted to start on my journey now as I know it's very important to fully understand.


I'm a bit nervous about going to a church in the UK as I'm not sure how they will react to me not being confirmed and if they ask about the reasons why I've fully decided now I'm worried they'll think it's just for the wedding.


It's a difficult one as my fianc! isn't a practising catholic but I know how strong views his family have so I do want to explore the religion how I can not see us being 100% committed to the church.


Another issue I have is I was previously married but my husband passed away (suicide). This happened 5 years about and it'll be 7 years by the time we marry. I'm not sure how the church will react to that.


I'd appreciate some helpful advice. I understand religion is a personal subject but please don't response to this post unless you have something helpful to say.


Thanks.

I think it's great that you want to fully embrace your faith and even more so in time for your wedding and to form a closer bond with your fiance and his family.

The Church will be very open and happy to welcome and help you. Search Catholic churches around you and narrow down to 3 or so. Then visit them and speak to the Priest. I pray God leads you to the best one for you! Part of building a lasting relationship is sharing values and outlooks as well as learning new things with your partner.

Well done already! :T

Andypandyboy

mumps wrote: »

No I don't mean annulment, I mean a priest who will marry people who are divorced. He would talk to people about the marriage and why it failed and if he felt it appropriate he would marry them. I think it does mark progressiveness but you are entitled to your opinion. The particular priest I am thinking of was also progressive in his thinking on birth control.

Really, I have never known that happen. Which area was that?

I think things like birth control are a bit different as they are personal issues, and I know quite a few Priests who would not be against it. However, to perform a regulated ceremony and solemnise a marriage against the tenets of the church is highly irregular and I am very surprised he kept his job.

.j.e.j

Just a thought - the church rules and customs may be different in Italy to here. Italy obviously being a catholic country. Might be worth seeking out opinions from Italian forum users/people irl.

hth

farfromhome

Perhaps my experience may be helpful? After many years away from the RC church, I am now again a practising Roman Catholic. When I got married, my late husband, like me, was a non-practising Roman Catholic and we therefore got married in a registry office. This marriage, in the eyes of the RC church, is not recognised as being valid as it did not take place in an RC church. Therefore in the eyes of the Church, I have never been married and if I had got divorced, this would be also irrelevant. I could therefore then get married in an RC Church and only that marriage would be considered valid.

When I started to look for something more spiritual in my life, I did look at various faiths, attended an Alpha course in a New Life (evangelical - not RC) church and then decided to visit some churches and see how I was received. I was made very welcome at my local RC church and attended an RCIA course as I had forgotten virtually everything about my faith, together with non-Christians who thought the RC church was what they were looking for. Some then were received fully into the Church, some decided not to proceed. There was no pressure from anyone. We were encouraged to ask lots of questions and if that had not been the case, I would not have stayed.

As other people have said, you don't have to be a practising Roman Catholic to be married in an RC church (as long as your partner is) but most priests I have met are very pragmatic and would rather marry you as that may mean you may come back with any children you may have for the christening, and bring up your child in the RC faith.

Andypandyboy

farfromhome wrote: »

Perhaps my experience may be helpful? After many years away from the RC church, I am now again a practising Roman Catholic. When I got married, my late husband, like me, was a non-practising Roman Catholic and we therefore got married in a registry office. This marriage, in the eyes of the RC church, is not recognised as being valid as it did not take place in an RC church. Therefore in the eyes of the Church, I have never been married and if I had got divorced, this would be also irrelevant. I could therefore then get married in an RC Church and only that marriage would be considered valid.

It was not considered a valid marriage in the eyes of the church and so you could have still (re) married your "husband" in church, but had you divorced him and wanted to marry another, that would not have been possible according to the quote below from the Catholic Marriage centre. Which was why I made the point above to Mumps.

http://www.catholicmarriagecentre.org.uk/marriagefaq.php


Q. My fianc! and I are both Catholic, and we would like to get married in a Catholic church, however, I am a divorcee. Is it still possible for us to marry in a Catholic church in the UK?
A. If your first marriage was valid, and marriage is said to ‘have the favour of law’ that is, it is assumed valid until it is legally proved otherwise, then you are not free to marry again. I quote from the Compendium of the Catechism of the Catholic Church No.349:
'The Church, since she is faithful to her Lord, cannot recognise the union of people who are civilly divorced and remarried. "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her: and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery" (Mark 10:11-12). The Church manifests an attentive solicitude towards such people and encourages them to a life of faith, prayer, works of charity and the Christian education of their children. However, they cannot receive sacramental absolution, take Holy Communion, or exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities as long as their situation, which objectively contravenes God's law, persists.'

always_sunny

To marry in a RC church you need your all sacraments (Baptism+Communion+Confirmation) and it is very common for Italians to drop off Sunday's school before completing the whole curriculum.

Usually the priest/church will offer a speedy Confirmation service to fulfil all requirements.
If you can read Italian, looks at ISTAT (ONS equivalent).

In Italy 43% of weddings were at the registry and in 2014 16% were second timers.
So don't be too afraid of going to the church and ask, they will be delighted to snatch you away :A !

farfromhome

Andypandyboy - thank you for the link, very interesting website, but this is what it says:

"The question of whether or not you can 'remarry' in a Catholic church is dependent on whether or not your first marriage was valid, not on its sacramentality as such."
and
"If you were married in a protestant church without permission of the local Catholic bishop, and according to the requirements of the Catholic Church, the marriage would not have been valid, and
neither would a marriage in a registry office have been valid. In these cases you would be free to marry in a Catholic church, as you would not have been, nor are, married."

Yes, I could have "re-married" my husband in an RC church which would have made the marriage valid but this did not happen, and therefore in the eyes of the RC church I have never been married. So a divorce would not have made any difference as the marriage was invalid as we did not meet any of the above requirements.