Becoming a full catholic

beckysbobbles1

Hi all,


I'm looking for some advice please on how to continue with my path to become fully catholic.


I was baptized but I didn't follow on with holy communion or confirmation.


I've always had an interest in religion but I have a habit of asking too many questions and thought I shouldn't explore too much.


I am engaged and my fianc! is catholic. He is from a rather religious Italian family and we wish to wed in a church in Italy.


We are not getting married until 2018 but I wanted to start on my journey now as I know it's very important to fully understand.


I'm a bit nervous about going to a church in the UK as I'm not sure how they will react to me not being confirmed and if they ask about the reasons why I've fully decided now I'm worried they'll think it's just for the wedding.


It's a difficult one as my fianc! isn't a practising catholic but I know how strong views his family have so I do want to explore the religion how I can not see us being 100% committed to the church.


Another issue I have is I was previously married but my husband passed away (suicide). This happened 5 years about and it'll be 7 years by the time we marry. I'm not sure how the church will react to that.


I'd appreciate some helpful advice. I understand religion is a personal subject but please don't response to this post unless you have something helpful to say.


Thanks.

jamiehelsinki

Do you want to be Catholic?

It sounds like you just want to make his family happy, I was born into a Catholic family but rejected it at a young age.

I think you need to choose a religion if it's right for you.

elsien

I have a sibling who was a non-catholic but whose fiancee came from a religious Catholic family. I've fairly sure he thought about it a lot less than you are! He did not convert to catholicism but they were still able to get married in church. The more important point for them was an agreement that any children were raised in the catholic faith. Have you discussed all this with your fiance - you might be overthinking it a little.

If it is what you want, I'd say go along and ask all the questions you want or need to - anyone who wants to support people back into the church should be up for a good healthy debate about all the whys and wherefores.
In your position I'd be less concerned about what the church thinks about me, and more about whether a particular priest/congregation respond to me in a way that is going to be helpful.
I'm not a religious person, but parent is and she has always said that some churches are a better fit than others so if you find one unwelcoming then try somewhere else. Do you know any churchgoers who could point you in the right direction?

maman

I agree you seem to be overthinking things.


I'd suggest you start going to church in this country. I'm sure you'll be made welcome. When you know you feel comfortable with the services then start talking to the priest about how to take things a step further.


I'm sure anyone can participate in a catholic service whether confirmed or not. If it's like the Anglican church then you can receive a blessing during the communion but not partake of the bread and wine. I'm sure someone who is a practising catholic will be along to explain further.

esuhl

If your partner isn't a practising Catholic anyway, why does it matter? If you just want to learn about the religion and join his non-practising (dis)belief, then you could do that by reading books or even watching documentaries on Catholicism, and chatting to your other half.

If you've always been interested in religion, why Catholicism? Why now?

It does sound like you just want to "fit in" with your father-in-laws beliefs, and somehow make him like you over a shared mythical ideology.

If you've made it this far in life without being religious, do you really need religion? Would you cope with being told to believe bizarre things without any rational basis? If you like to ask a lot of questions, then maybe you're too logical to believe unquestioningly in myths.

There are (and have been) thousands upon thousands of religions through the ages, and most of them are mutually incompatible. If you're going to leap in and become religious, wouldn't it be best to look at lots of different religions to see which one you think is the "real" one?

eamon

No doubt a more knowledgeable lay catholic than me will come along later. But in the meantime google the catholic diocese that covers your location. They will have loads of information and contact numbers etc. Best of luck.

Andypandyboy

I am sure that if you approach your local church you will be warmly welcomed. The Priest will obviously need to know that you are wanting to convert for the right reasons. There is usually a period of "instruction" and then you undergo the sacraments, privately if you wish, or during a Mass with relatives and friends present. It happens quite frequently so need to worry about any aspect of it the Priest will be well used to explaining and calming any fears you may have. Good luck, and congratulations on the upcoming wedding.

beckysbobbles1

I am the queen of overthinking!!


I've spoken to a lovely lady at the church and she has invited me along to a group which meetings every Tuesday and then will be fully welcomed into the church in Easter.


I'm not trying to please his family, I'm trying to respect them. They will expect a traditional catholic wedding and I want to be able to do that.


We'll see how things pan out.

tea_lover

I'm CofE, not RC, but there's enough similarities for this part

Your best idea is to find your local church, then go along and see what it's all about. You don't need to jump straight into confirmation, taking communion, etc. For now, just enjoy getting to know people and finding out more about it, before you make any further decisions.

In the CofE we have a great introductory course (Alpha) which is a good overview of the basics of what we believe and do. I'm sure there are similar Catholic courses.

As others have mentioned, all churches are different. So it's always worth trying a couple to find a good fit. Some will be more traditional than others, some will have younger/older congregations - the general beliefs are the same but one may be more 'you' than another.

missbiggles1

tea_lover wrote: »

I'm CofE, not RC, but there's enough similarities for this part

Your best idea is to find your local church, then go along and see what it's all about. You don't need to jump straight into confirmation, taking communion, etc. For now, just enjoy getting to know people and finding out more about it, before you make any further decisions.

In the CofE we have a great introductory course (Alpha) which is a good overview of the basics of what we believe and do. I'm sure there are similar Catholic courses.

As others have mentioned, all churches are different. So it's always worth trying a couple to find a good fit. Some will be more traditional than others, some will have younger/older congregations - the general beliefs are the same but one may be more 'you' than another.

Alpha courses are ecumenical in nature so would be as suitable for a Catholic as for any other Christian.

maman

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

I am the queen of overthinking!!


I've spoken to a lovely lady at the church and she has invited me along to a group which meetings every Tuesday and then will be fully welcomed into the church in Easter.


I'm not trying to please his family, I'm trying to respect them. They will expect a traditional catholic wedding and I want to be able to do that.


We'll see how things pan out.

I'm sure you realise this but you don't have to be confirmed a Catholic to have a Catholic wedding. Having plans to be taken 'fully into the church ' (which I assume means confirmation) seems jumping the gun a bit to me.