Cash wedding present - how much?

Mupette

My friend has everything they needed and were saving for a honeymoon, I asked a few times about wedding list and she said there wasn't one as there was nothing they needed.

And for the meal we had and all the trimmings I'd say it would of been at least £75 - £100 so £50 towards a honeymoon I was happy to give. I felt she and her lovely new husband were worth it

Georgiegirl256

McKneff wrote: »

Any less than £50 then you would be stingy if she was your friend

Also, £50 is not going to make that much of a time difference in your Ivf quest.

You wouldnt like to think that later on, your mate is going to be thinking and saying to her new husband , 'i thought xxxx was a bit stingy' don't you'

It says more about the person who would think that of a guest tbh. They should be grateful that people want to share their day with them and have come to wish them well etc. Surely that means more than analysing what people gave. That's pretty poor form of someone to say that they thought a particular guest was "stingy"....

People should be grateful for whatever they receive. I don't buy into this whole "cover the cost of your meal" thing either. You give what you can afford at the time.

cadon

As a starting point, I would say £100, given it's an invite for two people, presumably for the whole wedding, and it's a close friend.

I would bring that figure downwards if it was genuinely a struggle. So, lower of £100 and what you can afford.

Marvel1

baza52 wrote: »

If they are feeding you and providing drinks think of it like going out for a meal.
£50?

If money is tight as OP says, they would have stayed in, so decline the invite?

Marvel1

Some people say how much you give they could think you are tight, it's almost like they are expecting a gift!

baza52

cjdavies wrote: »

If money is tight as OP says, they would have stayed in, so decline the invite?

so decline the wedding invite.
Surprised someone could afford £1000 for a weekend in Italy to attend a wedding but cannot afford £50 for a gift.
I doubt the wedding is short notice so they would have ample time to put some money by each week.

Marvel1

baza52 wrote: »

so decline the wedding invite.
Surprised someone could afford £1000 for a weekend in Italy to attend a wedding but cannot afford £50 for a gift.

Circumstances change e.g. had a job at the time for the Italy one, then lost job for this wedding. Or in this case IVF and moving costs.

cadon

cjdavies wrote: »

Some people say how much you give they could think you are tight, it's almost like they are expecting a gift!

Well, yes. I would expect all wedding guests to give a gift if they can, it's the societal norm.

I would expect anyone who's genuinely flat broke to dispense with a gift and for the bride and groom to understand, but I believe in only inviting guests you actually know well and like. If you know and like someone, you should be aware of their financial problems and be sympathetic to them, categorically not expecting any gift whatsoever.

Meepmeep

Good range of views.
To clarify a couple of points - I don't resent going to this wedding. If I did I would just decline. I have declined a few in the past as couldn't afford / or had other priorities money wise. Also been up front with a close family member about not being able / willing to pay to attend if they chose to get married in Mexico (other issues involved not just money though).

The expensive wedding abroad was entirely funded my my OH who was best man (Couple were his friends). Let's just say that have differing views on spending.... I think I'm slowly beginning to get him to realise we don't have as much money as he thinks he does!

I think £50 sounds fair. I was trying to get my head around the fact that I would never spend 50£ on a friend for a bday or Christmas, but at the same time less feels stingy (I don't know why!) and it seems a bit tit for tat to give to cover the cost of the meal.

suki1964

Flip me, when me and DH got married after 13 years of living over the brush so to speak, we had no wedding list, didn't ask for money and just asked for people to come enjoy themselves

Those that insisted on a gift, I asked for table cloths and tea towels

Yes I did get a few cash or voucher gifts, from £10 to £500,all most appreciated but not as much as I appreciated friends giving up a day to celebrate with us


Op, buy a personal gift if you find giving cash to be such a struggle. Honestly though if you have been invited and told there is no pressie list, the hosts won't care if it's a tenner.

If you know where the honeymoon is being held, perhaps ring and order champagne on ice or something if that feels more like something you can do