Cash wedding present - how much?

Autumnella

I usually give £30.

74jax

Meepmeep wrote: »

Thanks for your replies.
Your points are all very valid and are in line with what I've been mulling over.
On one hand, yup I see the point of - they've invited you and paying for a meal so could view it as - cover that amount.
Then again - I wouldn't choose to spend £x on travel to wedding, and/or cost of over night stay, plus cost of hen do, plus meal. That's about 160 there already.

Thing is, I really don't like weddings generally. This one will be ok as I know a few people there and it's only a day. But I've been clenching my jaw a bit at the costs of other weddings we've forked out for. Yes it's great that x and x want to get married in Italy, but that weekend cost us 1k. I think I just don't get why people want to spend SO much on a day.

I know I'm going off on a tangent - but I guess what I mean is, I'm already coming from a mindset of feeling Grrrrrrrr about weddings, so wanted to make sure I wasn't being too stingy

It's an invite. If you didn't want to go to Italy you didn't have to?

What people spend on their weddings really doesn't matter if you are a guest. If you don't want to go then don't. If you do then go.

Same for the hen do etc, the don't have to go if you don't want to spend your money on that.

I would give 50 for a day wedding, 30 if just going to the evening.

McKneff

Any less than £50 then you would be stingy if she was your friend

Also, £50 is not going to make that much of a time difference in your Ivf quest.

You wouldnt like to think that later on, your mate is going to be thinking and saying to her new husband , 'i thought xxxx was a bit stingy' don't you'

Linda32

I think that £30 seems a reasonable amount.

MERFE

loads of people at my wedding gave less than £50, small gifts like photo frames and some just a card, I didn't think anyone stingy some paid hundreds to travel and stay in the hotel where the wedding was, others had new outfits and taxis to cover etc My friend is getting married next year I will be getting her a really nice bottle of champagne she can enjoy with her OH and probably £20 cash or another small gift.

pickledonionspaceraider

£50 seems about right, any less and people DO remember these things it comes across as tight. We normally at least £50 and a bit more if it is close family maybe up to £100

When we got married, we remembered the close friends who gave us a tenner... the week before going on their third foreign holiday of the year

It seems different with presents though, you can get a lovely photo frame or keepsake which doesn't have the same monetary value but does mean a lot as someone has gone out and made an effort shopping for it

TBagpuss

baza52 wrote: »

Well the bride and groom have paid for your meal as well as the reception etc so in effect paying for a day out for you.

If you went out for dinner with them and the bill was £100 for 4 would you contribute your cost or just chuck in a tenner.

Except that they are not paying for a day out for you. Nor are they taking you out for dinner.

They are paying for a day to celebrate their own relationship. By your logic you would give a bigger gift to a better off or more extravagant couple than to one who were less well off or who kept to tighter budget.

You are 'paying' for the meal by showing up to support them - that is what they 'get' in return for their outlay on a meal etc.

The gift is a separate issue, and should always be something you can afford - which means that if you are on a tight budget, a gift costing £10-£20 is absolutely fine, even if the couple have chosen to spend £100 per head on their party.

And if you want to, and can afford to, give a gift worth £100 or £200, that's *also* fine, even if the couple are on a very tight budget and have managed to cater their party for £10 a head.

I think it depends on what you can afford, and on how close you are to the couple. Personally I would probably spend between £30 and £50 - a bit less if it was a second marriage where I'd given a gift at the first, possible a bit more for a very close friend or a family member.

jamiehelsinki

As a day guest I would give 50-80, as an evening guest maybe 20-30.
On my own I would give 50 if I took a plus 1 then probably 80. This is based on a typical modern sit down meal type wedding.

Angry_Bear

However much you do decide, I recommend this: http://www.wikihow.com/Fold-a-Dollar-Into-a-Heart
You can make it work with £10 or £20 notes if you skip step 7

Detroit

I agree with the majority view that £50 seems right.

However, as you don't like weddings, and seem to resent the expense, I think it would have been better to have declined in the first place.

You could presumably have made an excuse if you didn't feel you could be honest about how you felt about the cost and occasion.

If it was my wedding I would be hurt to think my guests held this attitude while accepting my hospitality.