Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

crazy_cat_lady

Thanks Bob - think I just have that feeling of age looming up on me. I know that other people's lives always seem more interesting than mine, but I think that I used to have a lot of fun and now I don't. But I don't want to do what I did 20 years ago - I'm a different person now.
Also coming on here to moan a bit about being rejected. I finally found out today, after 15 days, that I didn't get the job in London I went for. I'm swinging between being gutted about it to completely relieved, to a bit angry... Angry because I spent a lot of time and effort getting an application in and gave up a whole day of my holiday to go for a 1 hour interview. Relieved because I still don't know that I would have managed to do the job (still don't think I'm a leader) if I had been offered it, or how I would have managed the logistics of being mum, teacher and the extra job as well. And then gutted because ultimately it's being rejected, and nobody likes to feel like they weren't wanted. I thought I'd done ok but obviously someone else had done better. It's quite difficult not to take it personally and make it fit with my belief that I'm just rubbish at interview and will never be anyone's first choice for anything. Need to do some self motivation, read my book and pick myself up and get back on with work. It will be a blessing in disguise that I didn't get it no doubt because I'm not sure that I have the time to do it.
So today I've never gotten going again today - ds was up during the night so I've not slept well. Couple that with being exceptionally busy at work and the rejection and I'm not feeling great. Unfortunately it's football training night so back out again in an hour or so. And I wish I was a bit better prepared for tomorrow's teaching. Feel as though I'm kind of making it up as I go along at the moment which isn't a good place to be. I'll be fine though - need to sleep and bounce back and I'll be right. I always am.

Bobarella

I'm sorry you didn't get the job Cat. They must be mad to turn you down though.
You are good enough,you are a brilliant teacher, friend, daughter, mother, tutor (juggler) it's normal to feel all the things you are. Let it sink in a bit, and as you say you'll be back to normal soon. You are definitely not one to wallow.

Sorry DS is still causing trouble for your sleep. There was an interesting programme on last night about kids and not sleeping. One of the top tips was no screen time for 1 hour before bed.

On the fun thing. I think going through the debt free journey takes it out of you. I know I don't do any of the things I did that I used to love. Because they all cost money! So depriving yourself of things can take its toll. The fun you is still there underneath waiting for the budget to catch up

SpekySquarehead

Aw CCL sorry to hear that. As my mum says, "whats for you will not go by you". The right opportunity will present itself in due course and I've no doubt you've learned from the application and interview process for the future.

VelvetFreak

Hi Cat. Have read your whole diary over the last few days, and it has been a great distraction from the awful week I've had at work. You are nothing short of amazing.

It's a shame about the job, but as they say, everything happens for a reason

kirtsypoos

I'm sorry you didn't get the job CCL, but it may be a blessing in disguise with everything you have going on. I completely agree with Speky too - it may have passed you by because there is something even better waiting in the wings

crazy_cat_lady

Hi everyone
Sorry I didn't get on yesterday - I just didn't feel like it by the time I got home. I was shattered so decided to have an early night with Netflix and crochet. I feel a bit better today but the weekend really can't come soon enough.
Thanks for all of your kind words about the job. I got an email yesterday from one of the interviewers offering me some more detailed feedback, so of course I rang for that. He didn't have anything negative at all to day - basically I was beaten to the job by someone who was pretty much already doing it. I wish I'd known there was an internal candidate to be honest. Anyway, I asked how I could improve for next time and he said I just need a smaller step up to get some more experience and asked if I would be interested in doing some scrutineering and review work for them because they'd been impressed enough with me to want to try and offer me something. Apparently I interviewed very well - So that was quite nice. I said I would do it and he asked me to contact him at Easter if I hadn't heard anything by them. Definitely feeling more positive than I was on Tuesday but I won't hold my breath.
Other than that there's not much to report. Too much work to do and not enough hours in the day to do it. I'm behind with lots of stuff at the moment so I've made a nice long list of everything and I'm off to start working my way through it. It includes stuff around the house, stuff at work and stuff that I need to get organised.
I need to find my fun me again somewhere. If anyone has seen her then send her back my way.
P.S. :hello: Velvetfreak - and thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

crazy_cat_lady

I'm home late again. Headache niggling, feeling shattered and a bit grumpy so I've decided that I'm going to have another night off from the computer and social media. I have loads of crochet on the go at the moment so I'm going to keep on with that for the time being.
I will be back tomorrow - even if it's just a short note like this, but I need to sort myself out... That means sitting with cats while I do crochet. Happy days

kirtsypoos

Great news about the interview feedback! I'm pleased they got back to you and about how positive it was - we all knew you could do it, I know sometimes it's just too easy to doubt yourself and your abilities but they have just proved how impressive you are

Bobarella

Hi Cat

That's really good feedback. And a good outcome. I hope it helps put whatever demons you had previously interview, in their place.

Hope you get a good night's rest.

Bob

SpekySquarehead

It's amazing how just spending time with your pets can cheer you up. The ultimate pick-me-up. Couple that with a hobby then I'm sure you'll feel better soon.

Hope todays a good day and TGIF!!!