Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 2 - Groundhog Day

crazy_cat_lady

Well I am completely shattered tonight. The bacon sarnies went down well at work - it felt like a very small thing to do, but it's just been such a cruddy week for so many people. I did so well taking in breakfast for everyone that I forgot to pick my lunch up. Didn't lose my nsd though as I managed to get my hands on a free sandwich from the canteen as I was so late for lunch I got he leftovers that were about to be binned
Still have the headache - couldn't be bothered with my Year 10 as usual so by the time Year 9 arrived I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. I've taken as much in the way of paracetamol and ibuprofen as I'm allowed and it's still hanging on there. That means it has to be an early night.
Hopefully back all bright and breezy tomorrow.

AspiringButAnxious

Good luck for your interview (I accidentally typed "lick" then — don't do that! Lol!) Sorry about your headache I get tension headaches quite often and painkillers don't do anything other than take the edge off. A warm flannel with lavender oil held on my forehead helps a bit, so might be worth a try.

Dh is bound to have bad days — I still have days when I want to die and everything seems hopeless. I'm getting better at recognising, in retrospect, that my thoughts were being taken over by my mental illness, but when you are in the clutches of a bad day those thoughts are real and you believe them. Your dh's illness is telling him that you'd be better off without him and that his life is pointless — it feels true to him in the midst of bad days, even if he is well enough to realise it's not true on other days. I know it's hard to hear, but the best thing you can do is listen and understand that his negative thoughts are a symptom, not how he would feel if he wasn't mentally ill.

Obviously that's easier said than done, but you need to remember that mental illness takes over people's minds — not necessarily in an out-of-control way, but often in the form of a nagging voice which constantly tells you you're not good enough, that you are a burden to those you love, that your life has no value, etc. It's also worth remembering that depression is often worse in winter, due to the lack of sunlight impacting mood and sleep patterns. Most people I know woth mental health problems find winter particularly difficult, especially after Xmas when spring feels far away and there seems to be nothing to look forward to.

Anyhoo, I'm sending you happy thoughts and hope things improve soon

crazy_cat_lady

Hi everyone :coffee: :hello:
Thanks for taking the time to write ABA - and as always for reminding me that sometimes it's his illness talking rather than things that he really means to say. I do forget, and because I struggle with my own anxiety my default position is that it must be something I personally have or haven't done that is making him feel that way.
I feel a bit better today - I'm still tired but there's nothing much happening other than tutoring this afternoon so I'm trying to relax a bit. Having said that, I've already done a bit today. Got up and went for my training at 7 this morning, had to de-ice the car. Got home, washed the dishes, put the washing on, changed the cat litter, sorted out weekend meal plans...
Bestie then arrived with a Costalot coffee and a listening ear to bend about everything that has happened this week, which was lovely. She's gone out with dh and ds (and her ds) to watch them play football. I'm making lunch for everyone (toasties) for when they get back, and I've also changed my bedding and hoovered right through the house. Not that much relaxing so far today but I have a bit of time now, and lots of time after tutoring.
I feel a bit down, but I know it's just been an emotionally draining week, full stop. It was always going to catch up with me sooner or later. I was due to see my mam this weekend but she rang this morning to say she's full of cold so we've decided not to go. She's far too polite to say that she can't be bothered, but she needs time to rest herself at the moment...
I'll arrange to see her next week instead.
Had hoped for a nsd but we're almost out of milk so not much hope there. We'll call it a LSD unless I can convince DH to hand over some £ before I go out this afternoon.

crazy_cat_lady

I didn't get my nsd - used my tutoring £ to go to Mr T after tutoring. Turns out that's a good time for YS shopping, which I didn't know at all but I am happy with. Got the essentials, but also hauled up some chicken, hummus, stir fry veggies and cheesecake. I'm thrilled to have gotten raspberry and prosecco cheesecake for 48p. It should have been £3.50 and I'm just planning when I might indulge myself. Not very mse but I really wanted it.
It's all quiet here, dh is asleep on the sofa, dd is upstairs doing what pre-teens do, and ds is out having dinner with his friend's family. I'm just about to do my first bit of interview prep - notebook at the ready - then I'm going to settle down and do some crochet before having an early night I think.

Bobarella

That's a brilliant womble Cat! Hope it's delicious.

Pippilongstocking

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

Got the essentials, but also hauled up some chicken, hummus, stir fry veggies and cheesecake. I'm thrilled to have gotten raspberry and prosecco cheesecake for 48p. It should have been £3.50 and I'm just planning when I might indulge myself. Not very mse but I really wanted it.

:T:T:T this is exactly MSE working in harmony with the universe. :T:T:T

Well done I hope it was ace.
Good luck with interview.

crazy_cat_lady

Hi everyone :coffee:
Been a busy morning and I'm only just getting on for a catch up now. I'm pleased to report I've had my cheesecake and it was absolutely delicious - as I suspected it would be
Did quite a bit of interview prep last night, both reading up online and planning my answers to questions I am expecting to be asked. I still have 4 weeks but I am so bad at interviews that I'm already finding it really stressful. I just wish I could sell myself a bit better than I do.
Went to sleep fairly early and found myself wide awake at 5am. I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up for an hour and then dozed over for a bit between half six and 8am.
Decided to batch cook for the week ahead - using up as much cupboard and freezer stuff as I could find. I've made a sausage and bean casserole and spaghetti and meatballs. Whilst doing that I also did the daily jobs, plus hoovered right through and mopped in the kitchen. As always, it's already filthy again so not sure why I bother...
Also finally caught up on all of the washing, including bedding and towels. It's amazing how ridiculously happy I am over such a small thing.
I should be settling down with a bit of schoolwork now but think I might prefer to relax for a bit longer and do a bit more crochet.

crazy_cat_lady

Mild panic setting in. DH went for a drive at about 2pm because he wasn't having a good day and wanted to clear his head. He's not back yet. Obviously me being me, I am imagining all of the worst case scenarios that could be happening.

kirtsypoos

Hope you are ok ccl, I imagine he has just lost track of time. Hope he gets back soon though, so you can stop worrying. It's pointless to tell you not to worry but maybe do something to take your mind off it for now?

Ratison

Hope he's back safely soon Cat x