First home in a relationship

Worry-Warrior

Person_one wrote: »

I bought a place with my partner without renting together or living together at all beforehand. I do not recommend it!

We split after less than a year, having been absolutely certain before we bought the place that we were definitely going to be together forever, getting married in a year or two etc etc. The fact is that you can never know for certain if a relationship is going to last and one of the biggest tests is living together! You might go from loved up and planning for the future to irritated by the mere sight of each other in just a few months, like we did!

Luckily, his salary had gone up in the time we had the property and mine went down so it made sense for him to buy me out, and it was in a location where prices had risen steeply so there was enough equity gained that I could put a deposit down on a place of my own and we both ended up ok out of it. If neither of us could have afforded the place on our own, or it had gone down in value not up, it could have been a massive headache at a time that was stressful enough anyway. Even with a clear agreement on what was going to happen and neither of us wanting to prolong it, it still took about 6 months to be free of the place and of each other.

Very, very useful information! Thank you!

Worry-Warrior

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Renting is not dead money. I really wish people could grasp the concept that rent pays for the roof over your head and isn't dead money. Sure you never see the money back but you don't see mortgage interest back either. There are a number of circumstances where renting is a better option than buying.

Yes!! Exactly!!

moneycantbuyyouhappiness

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Renting is not dead money. I really wish people could grasp the concept that rent pays for the roof over your head and isn't dead money. Sure you never see the money back but you don't see mortgage interest back either. There are a number of circumstances where renting is a better option than buying.

Completely agree however if buying a home is something you want to do in the future many people get stuck while renting. If you don't have a large deposit saved OP you may not be able to find the spare cash to build up a deposit while renting. This was one of the main reasons we decided just to save and buy.

david1951

I made the 'jump' to getting a mortgage with my OH before renting together. It worked out fine although money was not a problem and I already owned somewhere so didn't want to take a step back. Having said that, if she did not want to buy I would have been perfectly happy renting somewhere for 6 months (for example).

You are allowed to be cautious in a relationship, and at no point should you be held to ransom for it. If my OH made a comment along the lines of "well obviously it means you aren't committed" I would be more concerned for them. It would sound to me like they think our relationship is doomed unless we make a massive commitment like buy a house.

TBagpuss

I agree that a morgag eis a much bigger finacial committment than renting, both in terms of how dificult it is to undo if things don't work out, and also in termsof your responsibility .

I think that renting somewher etogether for 6 months would be a sensible compromise. You can use that 6 months to househunt and you may also find that being in a property of your own rather than living with relatives is also helpful in identifying what you both do and don't want / like about the property, about living together etc. Try to rent in the area and type of poperty you might be thinking of buying.

It will also allow the two of you to work out how you will split costs and all iof the jobs which come with having a property.

After all, if you are polanning for a lifetime together, 6 months is not very long to wait before you buy.

Also think about how your relationship is working. If you are in a psotion where where you disagree, both of you stick to your guns and won't back down then it may be wise to think about how you can improve your communications and learn to work with each other to find compromises that you are both happy with.

if this is a one-off, then better communications to identify why he feels so strongly abut thisright now would be good.