Incentivising Learning

Dill

Person_one wrote: »

And that's what the first year is for!

Is it? I think it might be better to go off the rails a bit before going to uni. Maybe have a gap year partying, drinking and watching Jeremy Kyle.

cadon

Out,_Vile_Jelly wrote: »

I got my Dad to sign a contract agreeing cash for GCSE results; I think it was £5 for a C, £10 for a B and £20 for an A. It was more a bit of fun; I was a right little girly swot and had always done well in tests.

I had a lovely spending spree in HMV (a ye olden dayes retailer of audio products in "compact disc" form).

Edit: didn't affect my motivation or future studies and I've been financially independent since I left university.

I had a similar arrangement, but I had to pay my parents if I got anything less than a B.

I protested the clause, but there was no budging. In the end it was easier to just get straight As than argue.

I've also been completely financially independent since uni.

Person_one

Dill wrote: »

Is it? I think it might be better to go off the rails a bit before going to uni. Maybe have a gap year partying, drinking and watching Jeremy Kyle.

Funded by...

Andypandyboy

cadon wrote: »

I had no idea how important my school grades would turn out to be. They don't get covered up by more complicated exams, they stay with you a long time. If I hadn't done as well in my school exams as I had, I wouldn't have been eligible to apply for my first graduate job.

I think my parents were right to bribe me - I was too young to appreciate what the consequences would be of not pushing myself that bit further. Working a bit harder for some extra cash is fun. Working a bit harder because your adult life will be doomed otherwise is a lot of pressure.

Bribery can work. If you can afford to offer financial incentives, go for it.

I would have considered it patronising to my kids to have to bribe them because they were young and "didn't understand", and so would they.

At 16, you can join the army, be a parent yourself, get married with parental consent etc, so the idea that they wouldn't undertand the importance of GCSE's and AS/A levels never entered my head.

Dill

Person_one wrote: »

Funded by...

..themselves, I suppose. Much like university is these days.

FBaby

3. Bribery generally works. Why not take advantage of this in a positive way, especially when teenagers may not always know what is best for them.

Sometimes it works until the child matures and their sense of self-responsibility takes over. Sometimes bribery leads to a sense of entitlement that can become a real problems. How many kids refuse to take on jobs after graduation because somehow, they think they are due a high income from the start. I suspect quite a few of them had parents who used bribery as mean to get them to give their best.

I think my parents were right to bribe me - I was too young to appreciate what the consequences would be of not pushing myself that bit further. Working a bit harder for some extra cash is fun. Working a bit harder because your adult life will be doomed otherwise is a lot of pressure.

Of course the alternative is to teach the young person to appreciate consequences rather than using bribes. It's an every day thing. My DD was already considering which Uni she wanted to go at 14. DS who is 13 has already looked at top range apprentiships. We talked about the future all the time.

Working for fun is great, what happens though when you suddenly have to work just to survive? I personally think that the earlier you are taught the reality of life, the least of a shock it will be when it hits you.

GwylimT

My son had his hard work recognised by gaining good results and a place at his college of choice.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

A token of appreciation would have gone a very long way with me.

As it was, being effectively told they didn't value it/me or what I did was never going to be good enough to deserve encouragement, never mind congratulations, a 'well done - I'm proud of you' or a £5 to spend on sweets, a book or to put towards a CD made me not want to take part. I still did well, because I couldn't not, but there didn't seem any point. It meant that my A grades didn't feel like success or something to be happy about, as nobody really cared about them - or me.


Take it to the adult/working world;

'You should do x/y/z for personal pride/professional development/your moral duty, not financial reward'.

In reality, that means 'we want you to work for free because we're too cheap to pay you your true worth'. That's not right. If it's worth having, if it's worth doing, if it's needed or you want it, then you pay for it. If you want somebody to use their valuable skills, experience and knowledge to help you, then you flaming well pay them what their skills are worth, you don't denigrate their professionalism or insult their abilities by suggesting that they should do it something that benefits you for free.

In the same way, if I go to the kitchen and make a cuppa, it's no great effort to make two rather than one, so I'll ask/offer, or respond positively to 'Could I have....please?'.

If I get a thank you, I am more likely to volunteer to do it again. If I got a 'Make me a drink/I'll have a........' and no thanks - or, even worse, a 'You're already out there, it's nothing to you to make me a drink as well', they are more likely to get a rubbish drink. Do it often enough and they'll be lucky if I've even bothered to check the soap has been rinsed out of the cup properly. I'm certainly more likely to be too busy to help them with anything else. Keep on doing it and they'll be lucky to come out of it unscathed.


I always reward and/or acknowledge anybody who does something that they don't have to. It doesn't matter if they are a kid or an adult, they have earned that respect.


It makes me sad to see kids who are really trying very hard, giving more time, effort and energy to everything excited over something as simple as a message home to say well done, only to have the wind knocked out of their sails by a parent saying 'what's the big deal?' or 'and?'. They deserve better than that.


Yes, I'm materialistic in that sense. A warm, fuzzy glow doesn't pay the rent. A genuine thank you helps, as does a token gift/time off/positive comments on your appraisal when something greater isn't possible, but don't insult me by saying my additional efforts have no value to you - because I know it does.


Why should we expect our kids to be any different? It's not preparing them for adult life, where they have to negotiate salaries and jobs and stand up for themselves. They need to know that what they do is valuable to others as well as themselves - and as they are kids, they need more obvious rewards than somebody older and more experienced.

onlyroz

JoJo, we seem to be breeding a generation of kids who are taught that competitiveness is somehow bad. E.g. the school ran a contest to see who could make the best "shoebox garden". So my kids worked super hard on theirs, only to be told by the headteacher that they were "all brilliant", and everybody should give themselves a good pat on the back, and there wouldn't be an overall winner declared. And then there's the concept of the "non-competitive sports day" because we don't want to traumatise the poor kids by having them come second or third in a race.

The real world is a tough place, and our soft kids will flounder in it unless they are pushed a little, and are just occasionally told that perhaps they could have tried a little harder at something.

I really don't see how we are harming our kids if we reward them for doing well.

Andypandyboy

I think the last two posts are conflating the issues. Being rewarded or praised for doing well after the event, is not at all the same as incentivising before the event. Nor is having parents who don't care able to be equated with those who don't see the value in bribery.

Praise, encouragement and appreciaton does not have to be expressed by bribery. It is important to foster the self belief and the will to suceed for what it can bring for them personally, not for parental approval which should already be a given. Nor does that preclude being told that more effort is needed, if indeed that is the case.

I am really not sure how the cup of tea scenario and being appreciative of someone doing something nice for others fits into this discussion. Surely that is just manners? I wouldn't want my kids thinking that they should expect a material reward every time they were kind or helpful. However, again, by working hard at their studies they are not doing something for someone else they are doing it for themselves for their own personal and, long term, material gain.

I agree we should bring our kids up to know there are winners and losers and that it is better to be a winner if that is within your power.