For the female workers.

Tiddlywinks

xapprenticex wrote: »

yeah thats how i mean it, not in a flirting kind of way.

If it's not flirting then why are you fixating on how to engineer an opportunity to compliment her?

powerful_Rogue

xapprenticex wrote: »

I could drop something in like "i look forward to hearing you compliment my work the same way you compliment me". Something like that. I wouldnt ask her to stop complimenting me though

No, Don't do that. I cringed just reading it.

xapprenticex

Nicki wrote: »

Depends how hierarchical the office is really. I've been complimented on my appearance at work by both male and female colleagues at all kinds of levels and likewise if someone had a nice new haircut or was wearing something striking I would compliment them whether they were senior to me or not. These aren't come ons or in any way flirty just a pleasant thing to say, and showing that you notice someone as a person too not just a producer of work!

yeah thats how i mean it, sure, she is stunning but i wouldn't say anything in a flirting kind of way. tbh i compliment a few ladies at work but they are not above me in authority or too far above, but again, with tact.

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Don't actively seek an opportunity to compliment her - it could be misinterpreted by her or others who overhear the conversation.

What would be gained from this flirting anyway?

A one night stand? Relationship? What?

She is in a position of power over you - if anything negative results from your actions, who do you think will suffer at work?

I agree with that, we get on well so the existing friendship is enough, not looking for a relationship or shortcut to promotion, just wanted to let her know that she looks great, prob just a silly guy thing.

theoretica

To me there is a difference between noticing and complimenting something which was a choice and anything which was genetic. Avoid the second like the plague, and be very cautious about the first.

xapprenticex

powerful_Rogue wrote: »

No, Don't do that. I cringed just reading it.

haha, it was just an example of something, but i agree. lol cringe.

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

If it's not flirting then why are you fixating on how to engineer an opportunity to compliment her?

I didnt realise i was fixated on engineering an opportunity. I thought I was asking the ladies here how they would feel being complimented.. Anyway, thanks for your input, have a nice day. :money:

Detroit

xapprenticex wrote: »

I could drop something in like "i look forward to hearing you compliment my work the same way you compliment me". Something like that. I wouldnt ask her to stop complimenting me though

Please do not say either of these things! The first, to tell her you'd prefer a compliment on your work, though PC, is a real slap in the face to her, and comes across as a very pompous and arrogant response to what I assume from your post, was a harmless and welcome pleasantry.
This type of response is suitable only where you want to head off potential harassment.


I personally don't see any problem with a genuine, pleasant remark about a colleagues appearance, should the situation arise.
For example, if they have a new hair style, or are wearing a particularly nice outfit, I wouldn't have a problem with 'your hair suits you' or 'thats a nice suit, colour etc' Although it should never in my opinion be too personal, such as telling someone they're attractive.

A lot depends on your workplace and the norms there. Do people do this? If so, as they tend to in my workplace, it may be fine.
The best guide? By all means be friendly and complimentary, as very few people don't like positive affirmation. Just ask yourself first if you would comment in the same way to a male boss.
If the answers no, then that's your answer.

agrinnall

The thing is, if you both act on your impulses and it eventually goes wrong (which it probably will) who do you think is the one that will be let go as you can't both work there any more, a high flying executive or you?

Callie22

I have one very simple rule about workplace 'dalliances' - you don't **** where you eat, and especially not if the person is senior to you. It's guaranteed that trading compliments is going to get uncomfortable for at least one of you, and it's really best not to go there. Tbh, I think it's a bit odd for a senior boss to be complimenting more junior staff on their looks anyway, male or female.

Detroit

Callie22 wrote: »

I have one very simple rule about workplace 'dalliances' - you don't **** where you eat, and especially not if the person is senior to you. It's guaranteed that trading compliments is going to get uncomfortable for at least one of you, and it's really best not to go there. Tbh, I think it's a bit odd for a senior boss to be complimenting more junior staff on their looks anyway, male or female.

I must admit, I'm curious about the motivation of the boss here. I'd like to know what she actually said, as there's a big difference between a casual 'you look smart today xapprenticex' to a comment that implies she finds him attractive, and is flirting.
I assumed we were talking about the first, but it occurred to me it may be the latter, which would put a different slant on things.
If OP thinks she is flirting with him, this could become very awkward indeed!

Callie22

Detroit wrote: »

I must admit, I'm curious about the motivation of the boss here. I'd like to know what she actually said, as there's a big difference between a casual 'you look smart today xapprenticex' to a comment that implies she finds him attractive, and is flirting.
I assumed we were talking about the first, but it occurred to me it may be the latter, which would put a different slant on things.
If OP thinks she is flirting with him, this could become very awkward indeed!

The OP said he was complimented on his 'looks', but I agree, what was said and how makes a difference. There's a big difference between 'that's a great suit, Dave', and 'Damn Dave, you're hot' But that's a good reason why this shouldn't turn into compliment tennis - there's a chance that the OP might have grasped the wrong end of the stick completely and it would be incredibly awkward if he started to responding in a flirtatious manner and it turns out he'd completely misunderstood.