NST July - Own your choices

SpekySquarehead

Morning all,

Thank you for the birthday messages and yes, Fmess, I actually got 2 cakes; one from work and one from my mum!

Had a lovely day and was spoiled and just as importantly, I got a NSD. Way behind on my monthly target but I'll continue to plod away.

misstara - well done on the planning and getting under that milestone!

Calling14

juliejim - hope your having a good holiday. I survived work quite well thanks.

Not much to report was feeling low last night so some reason, pigged out on cake and wine. Today dd went for a scan, problems with baby, hopefully know more tomorrow. Feeling so worried and helpless.

Went and ordered some cupcakes today, dd birthday tomorrow, try and lift the mood somehow. Bought some salad and rolls so make party tea, with ham just cooked.

Speky lucky you with 2 cakes;)

Fmess

Hugs calling

Glad you got your cake speky

Today has been pretty chilled. Had to call into school for an hour but apart from that just some dog walking, tidying and decluttering and I've just woken up from an impromptu nap. Not even sure when I fell asleep.

Decided to get rid of a couple of items of furniture based on the kondoing idea that the more storage you own, the more likely you are to fill it. I'm hoping my family are up for rehousing them as some of them have recently moved into their own homes. I've also finally washed the blankets that live on the sofas in the winter, and they are currently drying on the line

Hope you've all had this sunny, if not blustery weather.

juliejim

Hope everything is ok with the baby calling - hugs

I've found out today that my friend has had her triplets - they're all fine although obviously the babies are in the neonatal unit.

Not much spent this morning although I have seen a conservatory suite that I like in one of the cs so I might see if mum and dad fancy buying our Christmas present early! It's £65 so a good price.

Hope everyone's having a good day

Jue

Bobarella

Calling So sorry to hear of your daughters worries. Thinking of her & her baby.

mothernerd

Hope everything turns out fine for your daughter and the baby Calling.

Crash and burn day for me. Have not slept well since Friday's phone call, keep pushing it away from (or letting it flow over my head) during the day but it comes back when I am trying to rest. Had to fight the urge to get up and go for a walk at 2 am and warned DS3 that I didn't feel great. (He already knew).

Went dizzy in the library (Vit d deficiency again?) had a wee sit down (staff member was worried about me), collected 4 books on depression (one don't actually like from a preliminary skim in the library but some of the lists were worth a read) and made it back to my side of the car park before tears threatened.

Watched an old film this afternoon (a weepie, the small girl they had adopted died). Nearly went for a walk but was thinking take money and phone so I could call a taxi if I ran out of steam miles from anywhere, take drink and a cup, getting on better take a sandwich - was turning into an expedition so settled for the film.

It's local history day tomorrow so will ask the counsellor if she has any free spots any time in the coming week and see where I go from there. Will go to the doctor's either tomorrow or Friday and ask for anti-depressants (usually my last option) and the return of the vitamin d.

Things aren't right, can't change other people but am fed up of adjusting and adapting and letting things go. I have started trying to carve out the tiniest space for me and I am not sure how much more nonsense I can put up with.

Not sure about going off sick. My instinct is not to. Think I finally qualify for sick pay (would be Universal credit) but I have just sent in my WTC renewal. They have changed the rules for self-employed people on WTC and I am expecting a supplementary set of questions/ evidence to supply. Claiming Universal credit might jinx up the whole thing and I might get neither.

Really feel the need for a change. A couple of days ago I thought about getting a weekly bus ticket, doing the gallery/ museum visits and a couple of other days out - a cheap staycation. I would like to make a little money first, just to feel a little more secure after spending on the house jobs. Will see how things pan out. If they give me anti-depressants which knock me out, all other options are on hold.

This evening I have made a little bonfire. Someone on the KM thread was saying that wood ash was very good for the garden and if you had a safe place to do it, burning raw wood was environmentally friendly (synthetics give off toxic fumes and painted or varnished wood is unsuitable). I started with 18 pieces of wood and found 22 in the end. My burner is a small galvanished planter 24" x 8" x 8" and I never let the fire exceed that area. I have stopped feeding it now as it will take several hours to completely burn through and go cool. 30 less items of clutter - will feed ash into beds asap so it isn't another thing lying around.

Today I am grateful for sympathetic sons, helpful and thoughtful library staff and cheerful delivery drivers.

My little rucksack completed the Yorkshire triple peak challenge at weekend with a time of 11 hours 37 minutes (accompanied by DS2). It's coming to something when your bags are better travelled than you.

SpekySquarehead

Morning all,

Thinking of you Mothernerd.

A NSD yesterday! However I need to buy bread today, damn.

apple_muncher

Calling - thinking of your dd today x

XSpender

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

Morning all :wave:
Yes Bob - I am only just approaching my 1 year anniversary here - although I had lurked for a long time before I got the nerve to post...
With regards to the mortgage - me and DH are dreaded Northern Rock customers. And with my being in a DMP until last year I haven't been able to remortgage at all. On top of that, we took out a 100% mortgage, and I'm not sure whether or not the house has gained any value since we bought it. I should probably speak to a broker but because I don't really know what's what with mortgages I keep putting it off.

I have been MIA and have just caught up with the thread but wanted to add that we are ex IVA and contacted the broker recommended on MSE (London and Country) to enquire if it was even possible for us to get a mortgage as we wanted to move but didn't want to start looking if we were never going to get a mortgage. They have a department that deals specifically with people with past or current debt issues and were really helpful. There is no obligation or cost and we got really good advice and we went ahead with a high street lender at 90% LTV on a big mortgage that makes my eyes water which I never thought we would be able to.

DH and I have had 5/12 of our personal trainer sessions and are loving it. We get weighed tonight and I think DH will have lost half a stone and I will have lost and inch from my middle. I have also been for a swim and a run this week and feel much fitter.

We have a session tonight but having Friday off before I go to the gym on Saturday when DS is at Karate and then a long run on Sunday. I have a 10k in 2 weeks and a half marathon in 6 and am nowhere near where I should be in distance.:eek:

Money wise we have spent so much on food it is embarrassing and there are only 2 of us as DS eats at childcare most of the time. It isn't as though we have a massive store of food either. DH and I have talked about it and are going to change our approach to shopping and the incentive is that if we cut back we can afford to keep the PT sessions going.

My job is a little wobbly at the moment as our client's contract ends at the end of the year and we are unsure if they will renew it. There isn't a great deal of other opportunities at my small employer. We have taken out some insurance and have a small amount of savings but rather than worry I am going to be proactive and update my CV and put it on line.

We are going to do some work on our kitchen this summer though. A makeover as it is very dated. Tiles need to come off, replastering, painting the cupboards, painting the walls new handles, new hob, sink and tap and new work surfaces. A friend has recently gone SE so will be doing the work for us at mates rates. He will also remove a cupboard at the bottom and one at the top, reconfigure the rest slightly and remove the inbuilt fridge so I can get my FF in.

mothernerd

Didn't want anyone worrying about me, lots of people have bigger problems than mine.

Got through last night with lots of 70's and 80's rock, a bit of a dance, tried out my ferret war dance round my tiny bonfire, more time spent playing with the bonfire (didn't want anyone seeing the smoke and calling the fire brigade so tried to get it hotter but sealed in).

Finally between 1.30 am and 2.30 am I did something on the car park that those who are very charitable might call an attempt at running. Cross between a duck waddle and a baby bird trying to fly for the first time and lots of slow bits in between but it is a start. One of the depression books is purely on exercise but haven't started reading yet.

Going out this morning armed with a panoply of 'portable rainbows' (explanation for newer turtles later). Still feeling hollow and sick inside but I am up and dressed and not cowering under the bedclothes. Can't let people down can I.

Hugs to Calling and family and anyone else that needs one.