Rant - Jealousy.

Detroit

It can be difficult not to feel this way when it seems other people have unfair advantages.
Take comfort from the fact that very few people have everything in life. It's usually a balance of good and bad. You have your partner, your family and you're young. Many people would be jealous of you!
When I find myself envying other people I consider whether I'd trade places. Would I take their life in place of mine? Lose all the things I value in return for the thing they have that I don't? You don't pick and choose, you take the whole package. I find it gives me perspective.
Play the hand you're dealt the best way you can, you've years ahead to achieve the things you want in life, and there's lots of ways to be happy that have nothing to do with how much you have materially.

System

I do understand where you are coming from OP, currently i work part time cos of my disbability (and have debt im trying to pay off), i live in a !!!!!! houseshare with people i hate, bf lives with his parents (working but only on a temp contract), we're just not in the position to live together (technically we could rent but its just wasted money and we'd rather try and save for a deposit so we have our own place). A lot of my friends have their own homes (well mortgages ), kids, are married etc. And at times i do feel left behind. Its so easy to compare things and feel jealous. BUT the way i'm trying to see it is, this is MY life, i'm living it at my pace, ok so maybe it might take a few years to pay off my debt and for us to get our own place, but does it really matter? Apart from that i'm in a very happy realtionship, we see each other all the time anyway. Some people may appear to be happy and have it all but we have no idea whats really going on. It might take me longer to get there, but when i do, it was all me. I did it, i got there. id dint;t get it though luck or generous realatives, i did it for myself. That will be much more satisfying for me on a whole.

Peter333

missbiggles1 wrote: »

There's certainly nothing to be ashamed of living in social housing but, in many areas of the country, the OP has very little chance of being allocated it.

Yeah but that's like complaining about never winning the lottery, but never buying a ticket!

She could at least go on the waiting list for social housing.

I have known some be on the list for 5 years with no offer, and others get housed within 1-2 years.

One person I know actually got housed within six months of going on the list. They just got lucky that one week, and picked a property no-one else wanted.

missbiggles1

Peter333 wrote: »

Yeah but that's like complaining about never winning the lottery, but never buying a ticket!

She could at least go on the waiting list for social housing.

I have known some be on the list for 5 years with no offer, and others get housed within 1-2 years.

One person I know actually got housed within six months of going on the list. They just got lucky that one week, and picked a property no-one else wanted.

There's nothing wrong with having it as a backup plan, as you say, there's nothing to be lost by going on the list. However, I think it would be a mistake to make this the mainstay of their future planning.

pickledonionspaceraider

Returntosender wrote: »

My partner's father is unwilling to help him/us financially now that he has a new wife/family (his new stepmother threw him out of his family home). He lives in a flat share with a friend.

All around us, are our friends are settling down. They're being given houses to live in, flats to rent or large amounts of money for their house deposits.

.

Your partners father does not OWE your partner, or you - anything. Your partner is now in his late 20s - why would his father provide housing for him and you, now??

I don't know anyone who was ''given a house to live in''...not a single person. Nor do I know anyone who was given their house deposit or part thereof.

I don't understand the sense of entitlement that shines out from this - it is not up to his parents nor yours, to provide for you both.

My husband and I saved for five years for our deposit. However I would completely agree with what Peter says above that being a home owner is not the be all and end all and would say that you need to decide what is the most important to you

-Owning a house in several years
or
- Being together now - in rented accommodation.

meer53

Why are people so hung up on buying houses ?

Person_one

meer53 wrote: »

Why are people so hung up on buying houses ?

Because renting privately really sucks in this country. If a rented house could really be a home, or if there was more secure social housing, maybe we wouldn't be so bothered about owning our own homes?

System

meer53 wrote: »

Why are people so hung up on buying houses ?

I guess some see it as an investment, for me it would be security, Living in rented accommodation i could lose this at any time should my landlord decide to sell etc. At least with your own home provided you pay your mortgage you at least end up with security and an investment. One day i;d like to have kids but i wouldn't want to do it if we dont have our own place, i've had to move house more times than i can count in the last 10 years and i want something more permanent before i have kids. Granted if you get a council house you do have a more secure tenency, but my chances of getting one are none existent anyway.

sweetilemon

The grass is never usually greener on the other side of the fence. I think sometimes people get caught up in wishing they had what they see others have. I bought a property when I was 19 by working and saving but it was a tiny 1bed flat, many people would turn their nose up at the size but it was ours. I am now in a house after buying because we were expecting a child. I would give all that up for my child not to have passed away. Some things like love money cannot buy. It sounds like you have a loving family and partner which is a rich life for some. You will get there, just sometimes the road isn't as smooth as you would like but that's what's shapes the future us. If you can't work you can still work with what you've got to save money and make sure you get the most from what you do spend (price comparisons, top cash back). A lot depends on the area you plan to buy in as well as it determines the price range. Good luck, make sure you update us when you buy your first home.

Peter333

sweetilemon wrote: »

The grass is never usually greener on the other side of the fence. I think sometimes people get caught up in wishing they had what they see others have. I bought a property when I was 19 by working and saving but it was a tiny 1bed flat, many people would turn their nose up at the size but it was ours. I am now in a house after buying because we were expecting a child. I would give all that up for my child not to have passed away. Some things like love money cannot buy. It sounds like you have a loving family and partner which is a rich life for some. You will get there, just sometimes the road isn't as smooth as you would like but that's what's shapes the future us. If you can't work you can still work with what you've got to save money and make sure you get the most from what you do spend (price comparisons, top cash back). A lot depends on the area you plan to buy in as well as it determines the price range. Good luck, make sure you update us when you buy your first home.

I'm so sorry to hear this......

Hope you're OK. :A