The Ultimate Incentive muddles along

Dinah93

At the moment in all honesty he's quite forgetful at work I think, his mental health isn't holding up well. Working in a management role in a care adjacent area, but it's not really his skill set. It's taken about 5 years to come around to but data analysis really is where he's very very strong. He will know by the 24th August.

He's barely on speaking terms with his dad (seems to think we owe him a lot of detail on our personal finances we aren't willing to give - like hand over monthly bank statements) and his relationship with his mother is never good so it's a firm no on a weekend home. He just wants our home back.

Mum just thinks what is best for the kids is having me home all the time. Which it may well be emotionally, but practically the kids quite like having a roof over their heads and food on the table and me working is the only way we've finally made our budget balance. So yes I agree in one sense, but in the other my mum has no clue about sticking to a budget and will still have a 100% mortgage at 65 most likely, I appreciate we're in a lot of debt and want to improve that position to give the kids more of me as they grow up.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

At the moment in all honesty he's quite forgetful at work I think, his mental health isn't holding up well. Working in a management role in a care adjacent area, but it's not really his skill set. It's taken about 5 years to come around to but data analysis really is where he's very very strong. He will know by the 24th August.

He's barely on speaking terms with his dad (seems to think we owe him a lot of detail on our personal finances we aren't willing to give - like hand over monthly bank statements) and his relationship with his mother is never good so it's a firm no on a weekend home. He just wants our home back.

Mum just thinks what is best for the kids is having me home all the time. Which it may well be emotionally, but practically the kids quite like having a roof over their heads and food on the table and me working is the only way we've finally made our budget balance. So yes I agree in one sense, but in the other my mum has no clue about sticking to a budget and will still have a 100% mortgage at 65 most likely, I appreciate we're in a lot of debt and want to improve that position to give the kids more of me as they grow up.

Hopefully some Data analysis jobs will come up locally to ye.

You are dead right re: the Dad. No way would I be handing over monthly bank statements for anyone to look at!

My mother would have a similar attitude as she stayed at home with us until we were teenagers but I only work Tue, Wed and half day fri so I think it's a nice balance. I don't know where I get my spendthrift ways from. Mam and Dad had their mortgage fully paid off at 55 and have great pensions.

Dinah93

• Tidy bedroom
• Complete assignment 3
• Complete assignment 4
• Complete assignment 5
• Do any alterations from weekends coursework
• Order NIM flyers
• NIM uniform tax claim
• Get knee x-ray
• Refund Monday morning customers
• Reply to booking survey
• Do list of all charges for L&G
• 2016-2017 Tax Return
• Tax credits renewal
• Find somewhere for phone and computer repairs
  [STRIKE]
• Return lights to Wickes[/STRIKE]
• Pay room hire for 2 studios for July
• Collect new phone Tried. Been returned to sender after only 3 days on their request.... I'm cancelling the contract
• Book London train tickets
• Investigate Amazon fulfillment printing

Finally getting shorter again. Shame so much of it now is massive jobs.

Got grief again this evening for working too much. Because Ben needs a whole 4 hours of childcare a week above school nursery. :eek:

Cinny91

Sounds very difficult with NIM Do you guys have any idea what's brought it all on?

Don't think it's at all fair what your mum is doing trying to guilt you into staying home! You're setting an excellent example for Grace that when she's older she'll be able to go out there and forge her own path, and Ben won't grow up thinking that Mum's only clean and bake and kiss scraped knees, but do whatever they put their minds to and won't expect gender rolls. All good things IMHO!

Also agree to send the costs back to Legal and General, was actually shocked when I read they want you do pay "extras"!

We're in at the new place! Move day was Friday, absolutely shattered but Oscar decided he didn't want to sleep on his own anymore. 10/10 would not reccomend a self move in terms of how much I ache EVERYWHERE. But we did it and saved who-knows how much on professional movers. Checked the bank today and the mortgage is there staring back at me :eek:

Dinah93

Happy new house! What's it like?

I need to email L&G this evening, plan was to do it last night but ended up chatting to my friend on the course all evening and didn't get in until 10pm.

House stress has brought it on, although I guess more specifically 'money'. NIMs dad had a real go over what failures we are as people that we could let ourselves be in debt. Called NIMs uncle (our builder) and told him not to work for us as I am "deceitful". Understandably NIM took it hard. Very unusually for me I got very angry because struggling with money doesn't make me a bad person, I'm certainly not dishonest, I am a very loyal wife and mother, proper mama bear style, and to me being a good caring person means I can hold my head up high regardless of how much we owe the banks.

Lucylocks

Have you tried local NHS Trusts for data work. I'm NHS and we are always recruiting for informatics team. Worth a shot.

As for the in-laws :mad::mad:

Cinny91

What a jerk!!! I always thought NIM's dad was a nice guy, but that might just have been because he was against NIM's mum as a comparison?! I know he loaned you the deposit money for your home but he shouldn't have done it if all he was planning on doing was holding it against you.

Will PM you the Rightmove link for the new place. Went to get paint samples for Oscar's bedroom and I'm a little miffed and confused at how many coats of my favourite one (summer white) it's taking to cover up the hottest of all hot pink colour that's currently on the walls

wendz86

I definitely wouldn't be showing the statements especially after what he has been saying about you. Very unfair.

My mum was at home with us until i started school and then she worked part time in schools so was with us most the time. She has been very supportive of me working though especially now I'm on my own. You have to do what is best for your family and I think you need to do it especially with the difficulties with NIM's work.

Looking forward to seeing the house Cinny!

Dinah93

Lucylocks wrote: »

Have you tried local NHS Trusts for data work. I'm NHS and we are always recruiting for informatics team. Worth a shot.

As for the in-laws :mad::mad:

Thank you - brilliant suggestion. Have 4 jobs from there found to apply for.

• Tidy bedroom
• Complete assignment 3
• Complete assignment 4
• Complete assignment 5
• Do any alterations from weekends coursework
• Order NIM flyers
• NIM uniform tax claim
• Put tickets up for sale
• Refund Monday morning customers
• Reply to booking survey
• Do list of all charges for L&G
• 2016-2017 Tax Return
• Tax credits renewal
• Find somewhere for phone and computer repairs
• Pay room hire for 2 studios for July
• Cancel current phone contract. Order new phone.
• Book London train tickets
• Investigate Amazon fulfillment printing
• Recall amazon FBA that is stranded
• Do NIMs appeal
• Email L&G - K
• Write re-booking letter to students and send around
• Plan this week's lessons

Dinah93

Speaking to L&G is like banging my head off a brick wall.

Had a phone conversation with an IFA who had a stand in Wickes, they actually did our first mortgage and they're doing a free check up of your life insurance as we may well want to increase it now we have kids.

NIMs appeal drafted but need him to make any alterations as needs to go tomorrow.