Wife who treats money like monopoly money

bertiebb_2

I work full time, wife works part time. We've got 3 kids. We do very well, I earn a lot so we can afford a lot of nice things. Wife works part-time and it all adds up.

BUT we spend a LOT on just nothing.

Wife is a nightmare for spending. She spends it like water as if its the last day on earth.

Shes a very generous person and will pay for or give anyone anything. BUT she gets taken advantage of by both friends and family sadly who will just sit back and let her pay for everything all the time. Family are the worse - we've a rap for being the rich relatives so we're expected to dip into pocket.

So far this week, shes given niece £20 to go to on holidays with. Her brother cheekily asked for a contribution off us and wife said OK. I know there is no way in this world or the next that he'd ever give more than about a £1 to our kids. Ever Ever.

Then her friend came around last night. She does beauty treatments as well does my wife. Cost price of the stuff was £40 (other people get charged £150 or so) so her friend tried to pay (this friend is pretty good) but wife said no. She just doesn't see that mates rates is doing it for cost and not losing £40 yourself on the deal!

Pointed out to her that in two days she'd given away almost a days pay for her. She only works two days a week so half her wage for the week has gone already!

Like I said, we're not skint - my income is probably double what we need to get by anyway. But its temporary income so we need to get something saved. It just annoys me that hard earned money is given away like this.

Am I being too tight or should wife think a bit more?

Guest101

Your two examples are not excessive, so on the basis of those - yes you are overreacting

bertiebb_2

They are just examples this week. Its similar thing almost every week.

I wouldnt mind so much if she didnt spend so much. But money, to her, seems like a well that never empties and she can spend, give it away to her hearts content without ever having to think about it.

fewgroats

Did you meet her when she won second prize in a beauty contest?

She wants to spoil her niece and her kids. What's wrong with that?

jackieblack

So, how do you arrange your finances?
Do you just have a joint account that you both have free access to?
Or do you have a certain amount of 'allowance' each, that you can spend on whatever you want - 'mad' money, if you like - without the other commenting/caring?

POPPYOSCAR

You have obviously been together a while as you have three children.


Is this a new thing or has she always been like this?

bertiebb_2

fewgroats wrote: »

Did you meet her when she won second prize in a beauty contest?

She wants to spoil her niece and her kids. What's wrong with that?

Not just her. If she goes out with friends most of the time shes the one who pays for it all.

bertiebb_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

You have obviously been together a while as you have three children.


Is this a new thing or has she always been like this?

Always like this but getting worse.

bertiebb_2

jackieblack wrote: »

So, how do you arrange your finances?
Do you just have a joint account that you both have free access to?
Or do you have a certain amount of 'allowance' each, that you can spend on whatever you want - 'mad' money, if you like - without the other commenting/caring?

All money goes into one account. She takes no interest whatsoever. I sort out all the bills etc. Most of the time she asks if we can afford something (i.e. big purchase).

DigForVictory

She's spending what she's earned - and doesn't seem to have got your memo that you think you both need to save.

Start with setting an example, maybe?
Then go on to discuss why you feel the need to save? Or just ask her to keep a diary of how much she's giving. Facts will help both of you.

tanith

Have you even talked to her and explained how you feel? £20 to a niece isn't excessive but maybe you could just ask her to be more careful when dipping her hand in her pocket when out with friends and let everyone pay their share.